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#1
26th September 2018, 19:29
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Why small talk gets a bad rap
If you google up how to start conversations, you'll often find these articles advising against asking 'boring' questions and telling you to be super whitty and creative. Consequently, you go into a social situation, and think you can't say something simple; 'hmm, can't say that, not creative enough, they'll think I'm boring', and consequently you end up quite, then the anxiety creeps in, they're going to think I'm boring, say something, say something!!
I want to show you that a lot of those articles are complete nonse and more importantly, the reasons why small talk gets a bad rap. By small talk I mean questions like;
The reason people advocate against them is not because they're boring, it's for two reasons and two reasons only, here's why; a) They can lead to one-word answers, which gives the other person little to work with; if followed up with a closed question (a question that leads to a one word response, giving you little to work with), this can lead to an awkward, stilted interview-like conversation b) Some of them can make people feel like they're being judged (depending on the body language; a curious tone vs. a tense judging tone) That's it, that's all there is to it. The good news is, you don't need to worry about saying things that are 'boring' or 'unoriginal', the important thing is giving the other person to work with, and asking follow-up questions that elicit more for you to work with. DISCLAIMER I know that there's a wide variety of people who're reading this, some will think this sounds silly, others might find it of great help. Since I know that a plot of people become paralyzed in social situations by the thought 'I can't say that it's boring' I think it's important to point this out. 
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