Never felt so low or alone

[Andrew.]

I have just one 'friend', someone i've never met in real life. We've known each other for 4 years or so and i'm entirely dependent on her. We used to write and call each other, but not anymore. She clearly doesn't want to know me, we don't even talk over the internet often. I asked for her to call me, she said she could on Thursday but tried to back out, she did in the end and promised she would today in return that I promise to go to a doctor.
She didn't call, I never expected her to, she was never planning on telling me she wouldn't. She claims she cares, she's now threatened to tell my parents if I don't. I only wanted one phone call. I'm so alone, she's the only person I can talk to about this. I go weeks without talking except to my teachers, i've been to a counsellor before but normally I just ignore the pain. I can't concentrate, which is impacting my work, but I really don't want to go to a doctor. I have no one who can make me feel better and I couldn't have any less respect for myself. What am I supposed to do?

[elfie]

oh honny

you poor thing im sorry your frend cant help you any more maybe she has some issues of her own at the momoent, i understand your fear of goign to the doctors i felt and stil feel the same, i did go to the docs though and it has helped so has talking hear and in the chat room
i hope you finde some suport yu can pm me if you want to i would love to talk to you

be safe honny and all the best

[Only_human]

Perhaps you could post or look to see if there's someone your age or someone with similar interests in the penpal section that you can talk to and share problems with/confide in etc.

I don't really have any offer advice other then that. I have been there though when I was younger and relied on one person consistently. It wasn't fun waiting for him constantly to be there when he could fit me in. I really think it's important to not entrust everything in one person and instead to have two or three because people aren't reliable and it's not fair to put everything on one person as it can get too much for them.

I hope she starts being there for you more but that you also find someone else to confide in too...hang in there

[Aelwyn]

Hello, I'm very sorry you are feeling like this at the moment.

As Only Human has said, it's unwise to depend solely on one person, and not very fair to them. Also you haven't even met this person - people aren't always what they sound like through internet messages.

That seems like a good idea OH suggested to look in the penpal section here, and hopefully find a few people you can be in touch with.

You say "normally I just ignore the pain". But the pain is telling you something about problems you have, and they aren't going away just because you ignore them, on the contrary it sounds as if they have been getting more and more on top of you.

I noticed another post on here recently where a young girl finally opened up about her problems to her mother. She expected a lot of anger, and instead she was surprised by her mother's kindness.

I'm not saying that is the way forward for you - I don't know your circumstances - all I'm saying is that you shouldn't always expect the worst from people.

I understand how you feel about going to your GP, it's daunting, and I thought about it for quite a long time before I went myself. But it's a good place to start. Apart from medication, the GP may be able to suggest some more counseling (I see you've had some already, you don't say how it went), or other types of therapy.

I hope this is some help.