How bad is your SA nowadays?

[Utopia]

How bad is your SA nowadays?

This was meant to be a poll with 5 different levels of severity, but I entered too much text in the options lol.

[steph26]

Still pretty bad, I keep thinking it will go away until I actually go into social situations and realise it's still there. It all goes back to low self esteem I think.

[Gnash]

I'd say moderate now since starting on mirtazapine last month. I still get palpitations, breathing difficulty, dry mouth and sweaty palms when I'm interacting - mainly with new people whom I tend to ignore/shy away from and limit interaction as much as I can. My mood has definitely lifted due to the mirtazapine but I still have low periods - usually a reaction to increased environmental stress - had a couple of busy/stressful shifts last week and I crashed both times - got snappy with people, really irritable etc. I'm also ruminating on the past a lot at the moment which is reinforcing negative low self esteem feelings. Overall I'd rate it as 3.5

[Hayman]

I don't feel my SA is as bad now as it was around three/four years ago and it's certainly improved compared to where I was ten years ago in my early 20's. It’s still very much there but I've pushed myself considerably outside my comfort zone in recent years and whilst on most occasions the same old fears have merely galvanised themselves, I've realised a tiny number aren't quite as bad as they used to be compared to the experiences in my early adult life.

What I've done in recent years has been off my own back, with no medication or any other form of external help . I've done more alone than I done than seeking 'professional' help which only sent me backwards in several ways…

I think the main difference is purely because I've had enough of so many ridicules and stigmas held against me that I'm more open to 'getting my own back' with at people with dark/sarcastic humour if they push me too hard. I've had to learn how to grow a thicker skin even though it's generally against my soft nature. I don't actually care what they think of me any more because I know society generally loathes me (as a quieter, more reserved male) anyway – I'm not going to lose anything. Whereas in the past I'd let them walk all over me and wouldn't say a word on the hope that things would eventually get better (I was naive).

There are of course good days and bad days. During the weekend or when I'm away for a weekend e.t.c. you'd genuinely not know there was anything wrong with me at all. Why is that? I'm either alone or with family. I can just be myself and relax. During the week? I'm at work and have to face the usual negative and/or underhand comments…and thus my SA is heightened.

I do feel as though my SA has improved, my opinion of society in general has certainly deteriorated and seems to continue sliding down by the year...

[Ajax Amsterdam]

Originally Posted by gregarious_introvert

I don't believe that social anxiety goes away (and we tend to forget that everyone has it to some degree - it is a natural defence mechanism), but if we're lucky and work hard, we can reach a point where we control the anxiety instead of anxiety controlling us; that's where I am now, most of the time.

I think it's always useful to stress that extremely important point.
Recovery from SA Disorder does not mean a complete absence of anxiety, although some people, very unrealistically, believe it does. Social anxieties from time to time are completely normal and natural, as is anxiety in general.

I consider myself SAD-free these days, although I still have some anxiety in social settings from time to time. Last Saturday for instance. My partner and I were going into town to meet a couple of her friends who are over from Germany. I'd met them once before, so felt reasonably ok going... but when we arrived at the pub there were around another eight people there we didn't know were going and who I'd not met before. I was initially pretty anxious, I can tell you, but I don't see this as anything unnatural and disordered.

Like you say; we can, with some hard work, get to a place where we can generally function ok most of the time, but anxiety is completely natural, so it's never really that far away and it will pop up from time to time.

[erase&rewind]

Originally Posted by steph26

Still pretty bad, I keep thinking it will go away until I actually go into social situations and realise it's still there. It all goes back to low self esteem I think.

Same here my avoidance makes me think I have more control over things, but then I realise I don't.

Originally Posted by Rebka

Anyway I'd put my level of severity now at 2 maybe on the low end now, the anxiety is there, but I just ignore it whenever I can

That sounds like where I would like to get to

[sophie123]

A lot worse than it used to be after living with SA and panic attacks for 46 years and using alcohol to cope with it it finally got to much for me and I had a bit of a meltdown which made me want to walk out in front of a bus I just can't cope with it anymore and as I can't take antidepressants because I damaged my stomach with the alcohol I need to take diazepam but only when i really need to to stop me having a full blown panic attack when I need to go somewhere but the only place I really need to go to is the doctors which thankfully isn't very often.

[Punxsutawney Phil]

Originally Posted by Hayman

I don't feel my SA is as bad now as it was around three/four years ago and it's certainly improved compared to where I was ten years ago in my early 20's. It***8217;s still very much there but I've pushed myself considerably outside my comfort zone in recent years and whilst on most occasions the same old fears have merely galvanised themselves, I've realised a tiny number aren't quite as bad as they used to be compared to the experiences in my early adult life.

What I've done in recent years has been off my own back, with no medication or any other form of external help . I've done more alone than I done than seeking 'professional' help which only sent me backwards in several ways***8230;

I think the main difference is purely because I've had enough of so many ridicules and stigmas held against me that I'm more open to 'getting my own back' with at people with dark/sarcastic humour if they push me too hard. I've had to learn how to grow a thicker skin even though it's generally against my soft nature. I don't actually care what they think of me any more because I know society generally loathes me (as a quieter, more reserved male) anyway ***8211; I'm not going to lose anything. Whereas in the past I'd let them walk all over me and wouldn't say a word on the hope that things would eventually get better (I was naive).

There are of course good days and bad days. During the weekend or when I'm away for a weekend e.t.c. you'd genuinely not know there was anything wrong with me at all. Why is that? I'm either alone or with family. I can just be myself and relax. During the week? I'm at work and have to face the usual negative and/or underhand comments***8230;and thus my SA is heightened.

I do feel as though my SA has improved, my opinion of society in general has certainly deteriorated and seems to continue sliding down by the year...

I really liked this. Realistic and thoughtful attitude towards your SA Hayman.

[Xithium]

In itself, it's not so bad anymore. Around a decade ago I was virtually a recluse but since then I've made some progress with integrating myself into a more normal way of life. On many occasions I'd still rather not make phone calls, arrange appointments, etc., but pushed to do it... I can, and without too much difficulty. I've managed to achieve things which at one point felt totally beyond me... finding and maintaining a job, passing my driving test and getting a car, getting into a relationship and setting a new career up for myself. My major problem these days is suffering from 'blank mind', which makes it difficult for me to form strong friendships with anyone as I usually just can't think of much to say in the way of interesting interjections or responses when in social situations. I seem to feel okay enough around new people, as in I'm comfortable, but I'm always aware and conscious that I'm struggling to contribute much. It seems to be very difficult to make new friends once you've left education. There just aren't as many opportunities and everyone I meet already seems to have solid friendships set up, so aren't seemingly as interested in developing new ones. If I can manage to make just one or two in the coming years, I'd be very happy. I do feel more of a sense of loneliness creeping in as the years go on, now, whereas in the past I felt more content to be alone - possibly because my SA was so bad then that I just felt relief, to be honest, to be alone.

I'm still struggling with huge problems related to self-esteem. That waxes and wanes, but I'd say it's my most pressing concern at the moment and still holds me back quite considerably.

[Hayman]

I will admit that I've never actually made a friend since I left school. Literally all of the handful I had from that time (barring one exception – which is tenuous at best) all moved on very quickly and I was out of contact with the last of them by the end of my teens. Sure, I have acquaintances through work but they're not friends and they do backstab/stigmatise me (and I do have evidence to support this). So my anxiety when meeting new people is pretty much the same now as it always has been, simply because of too many bad experiences further down the line.

I will say though that having no friends doesn't generally bother me because those last few years where I had them, I found them to be more trouble than what they were worth. Sure, there are days I do miss having no one. I'd be lying if I said I didn't but I'd say the benefits of having no friends for me outweighs the negatives. I certainly don't push myself to make new friends and that isn't solely because of the difficulty people like us have in making friends.

Originally Posted by Punxsutawney Phil

I really liked this. Realistic and thoughtful attitude towards your SA Hayman.

Thank you! I do appreciate that. I know people out there sometimes don't like my approach and maybe consider it to be negative. All I can say is that I'm honest about my situation and what I face. I don't 'sugar coat' things.

[Indigo_]

It's probably the best that it's been now. I've managed to change jobs and re-locate about 250 miles north. I still struggle with certain things and I do think I have general anxiety too. I also have OCD and go through bad patches with depression. On the whole though, I recognise that I've made a pretty huge amount of progress, considering around two years ago I really didn't want to be alive.

Like gregarious_introvert I owe an awful lot to this forum.

[Bambos]

Not bad, but it's still a bit of a mystery to me. There are times when I'm really not expecting to struggle but I do more than ever. Thankfully the reverse is also true. I've come a long way but haven't wrangled complete control just yet.

[Kipper]

I have good weeks and not so good weeks, like all of us. Last week wasn't bad but this week, so far, not so good.Can't seem to talk to anyone this week without intense blushing and sweating.When each day is the same it just makes me feel beaten, ashamed and embarrassed. I try to look ahead positively and think that next week may be better. But at the moment I'm just trying to have as little to do with people to avoid their scrutiny of my face! Pathetic, yes,I know but as I have said I try to look forward and hope that the following week may be less uncomfortable for me..

[clyde33]

Mine is a million times worse than it was, say, ten years ago. I think this is due to work making me feel stressed and unhappy. The last thing i want to do is go out and socialise. I have nothing interesting to say to people, nothing that i really want to hear from people, plus i don't really like people at the best of times. I feel very distant from others constantly. It doesn't actually bother me though as i don't feel like i'm missing out. I look at people's status on Facebook for example, see they're going to parties or whatever, and i think to myself thank god i'm not having to go to that! I think mine affect me differently. It makes me sad and annoyed with myself as i would like to be able to talk confidently to people and to have interesting things to say. I feel a failure constantly because i just find conversation/small talk almost impossible now. I have to force myself to do it at work and it completely drains and exhausts me. I look forward to the weekends when i'm off and don't have to speak to anyone.