#181
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Re: Self Help Material
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#182
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#184
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#185
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#186
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#187
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#188
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#189
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#190
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#191
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#192
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#193
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#194
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#195
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#196
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#197
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#198
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#199
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#200
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#201
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#202
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#203
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Re: Self Help Material
^ That's interesting.
My extended family (I include my parents/siblings in that, but also aunts, uncles, cousins), are all good story tellers. Social occasions are just very loud and high energy, with lots of stories and punchlines. It's kind of seen as an obligation to be entertaining. I have a good sense of humour and a cheerful persona, but I can't tell a story, because 1: I don't like being centre of attention, 2: My difficulties in life mean I have spent huge portions of it watching TV or going for solitary walks, which don't make good stories, 3: I have a very poor working memory, so even if something funny happens, I struggle to remember details enough to make it interesting and engaging. As such my family have always considered me dull and have sidelined me in life. There is also a cousin's wife within my family who has had mental health issues and struggles socially and is treated like a pariah. I don't know what causes people to choose the values that it holds other people to account? Whether it's unique to individual people or families or whether it's wider cultural influences? But for me, my family placing value on superficial charm above any other human qualities has been hugely detrimental. I does make people good company, but not decent people. Often people who find superficial charm easy lack other qualities like honesty, loyalty and empathy. My dad is a great story teller, has been telling stories and entertaining his friends for 8 decades, but he also neglected his family and was constantly unfaithful to his wife because he's egotistical and selfish. I don't think it's that important to be popular among people who don't genuinely care about you. |
#204
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#206
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^Interesting.
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#207
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Re: Self Help Material
I think some of it can be excellent but it really has to work for you and the word your mind works.
I remember an awful book actually gave me a new insight |
#208
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Re: Self Help Material
I must have been journaling about feelings last night as I was realising how much they are linked to my thoughts or driven by my thoughts. It’sa bit confusing though as I have been using emotions and feelings interchangeably when they are different things. Need to study or more but I was thinking feelings (may be the wrong term) are actually really physical when you notice them but then is that an emotion as the guy expresses feelings as being caused by thought and emotions being more automatic.
Feelings give meaning to emotions. CBT makes sense to me now although I don’t believe it’s healthy or right to tell someone how to think too much. Mind reading for example, something I’ve been told is bad when I have briefly done therapy in the past, is actually good and bad. I think it’s bad because can lead to unhealthy thoughts which give a bad meaning to an emotion we feel. But then mind reading can help us try to understand others also so it isn’t all bad. And as CBT works on how we perceive our feelings I think it’s only part of the puzzle to treatment. But TLDR, feelings are caused a lot by our thoughts. |
#209
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Re: Self Help Material
Quote:
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