How is everyone feeling? (31)

[Mo34]

I am fond of him. When I was dog sitting he stayed with s at the sanctuary and when I came home and collected him he literally lay upside down in my arms with his head lolling back purring his brains out. He seemed glad to be 'home' too.

I'm acutely aware he probably needs more play staying at mine and ideally access to outside tho... so I don't know.

[Dougella]

^ Aww, he was obviously happy to be back with you! Maybe you could see what kind of place you're offered, sometimes they have some outside space you might get lucky.

[Mo34]

Yeah I guess you never know

[Mo34]

^ Thanks Kooky , yes I haven't looked into all the toys that might be out there. He likes his feathery thing on a stick and his cat tunnel at the min. And a long piece of thick string that he chases. But I guess there is a lot out there.


Ooo I just googled Catit wellness centre, i've never seen that before.

[Indigo_]

Would you be moving far Mo?

[Mo34]

^ No not really, one of the surrounding villages.

Not a moment to soon either - downstairs started with the loud music at 8.50 this morning

[Mo34]

^ I'm sure it will be fine but I know its hard not to worry.

But yeah stay away from google! I've diagnosed myself with all sorts (that I didnt have) in the past that way.

[Mo34]

I'm feeling a bit cross. Couldn't answer my phone this morning as I was working, just picked up the voicemail from the housing manager offering me a flat in Brighton. (This is my landlord not the offers I have with the council). What the hell do I want to move to Brighton for? Why move me - why not sort out the little piece of scum below me. As the music has restarted I'm guessing there getting no where fast with him.

Much as I kind of appreciate the offer of another of their properties what the hell do I do with Brighton. My job is here, my participation in sanctuaries is here, my mental health treatment is only accessible as I'm in this area (and I've had to fight for that), my counsellor is here and on and on...

This country has all its priorities skewed, the perpetrators of whatever it may be - anti social behaviour, crime, violence etc needs and rights are all considered and the ppl that have to suffer it all completely ignored.

[Mo34]

^^

I'm sure everything will be fine. Maybe you could try some art work to take your mind away from it. Something random and freestyle.

[Dougella]

^^ That's ridiculous! He should move to Brighton and leave you all in peace.

[Mo34]

^ He should be flipping evicted. I haven't spoken to her yet so I don't know if they are trying to evict him, I'm guessing if they do it will be a long process. If they don't I can only assume its because its less hassle and cheaper not to.

[Dougella]

^ He should, I'm really surprised the drugs raid didn't clinch it, I would have thought illegal activity at the property would have resulted in an immediate eviction notice being served

[Blackflies]

Conflicted. Empty, hollow, overwhelmed with emotion. Trapped. Liberated. Somewhere between two fault lines.

[Mo34]

Originally Posted by Dougella

^ He should, I'm really surprised the drugs raid didn't clinch it, I would have thought illegal activity at the property would have resulted in an immediate eviction notice being served

Yeah me too. Though it's still under investigation with the police (or so I'm told) - not just the drugs raid but the assault that took place etc.. Someone told me that they often can't evict someone on those grounds unless there is a conviction - I really don't know tbh.

Does make me wonder what she (the manager) found out with the police for them to suddenly offer me something with no prompt from me and why a couple of community police officers where knocking on my door last week (wish I'd been in now!).

[choirgirl]

^That's very unfair that you're the one that is supposed to move!

[Mo34]

^ I know!
Mind you I think its just their concerned with what I've had to and still am having to put up with (shame the last landlord wasn't bothered).

[Rocket Spud]

But then won't the next tenant have to deal with it.... ?

They'd need someone who's deaf to move in. I don't understand how the stereo hasn't been confiscated. What's happening with the noise diary?

[Utopia]

Originally Posted by Blackflies

Conflicted. Empty, hollow, overwhelmed with emotion. Trapped. Liberated. Somewhere between two fault lines.

Why you feeling like that? I get empty but overwhelmed with emotion?... I haven't felt like that in a very long time tbh.

[Counterpoint]

Feeling like an emotional train wreck. Be gone o mind of mine, I no longer require thee.

I squirm at my anxious people-pleasing behaviour sometimes. But then when I don’t do it, I feel unfriendly. I cannot silence the critic. I hate the critic. Blah blah blah blah blah. I used to feel just like an anxious person but increasingly I feel like a bad person. I don’t know what’s happening inside my head.

[Mo34]

Originally Posted by Rocket Spud

But then won't the next tenant have to deal with it.... ?

They'd need someone who's deaf to move in. I don't understand how the stereo hasn't been confiscated. What's happening with the noise diary?

Precisely! I do think there is stuff going on behind the scenes but don't know what. Why were coppers at my door after the manger liaised with the police etc..
Unfortunately you have to go through an awful lot with environmental health to get a stereo confiscated. And in his case its also gaming and loud voices (talking at shout volume)/laughing/shrieking etc..

If he does stay and I go I think there is going to be real trouble here - esp if the next tenant isn't as soft/stupid/scared/sa as me.

She has my noise diaries and I'm keeping it up but I think her priority is the drugs that what she seems the most concerned about - and to be fair probably the easiest way of getting rid of him.

[Rocket Spud]

The gaming/tv probably goes through the stereo, but i know what you mean - taking away the stereo is only a fraction of the issue.

Honestly, how much 'noise evidence' would you need before anything was done.... ??? It's bizarre how far things can be pushed. Thank god for the drug bust. You're a saint for putting up with it because the vast majority wouldn't.

Can't you contact community police to inquire about whatever it was they wanted?

[Mo34]

^
You have to catch them at it and have it recorded, measured or listened to by environmental health. The problem for me is that yes there can be hours of music at times (more in the past than now) but he stops and starts and stops and starts. In my area anyway (it seems to differ) you have to call them out. I'm not in a large town or near one so they have to come out a fair way. It also isn't immediate, they start with warnings, then move to confiscation, then to things like abatement orders. It all takes a long time. add in I often get scared complaining - or at least I was in the past and well you can see why they get away with it. Plus his mum being connected somehow to the landlord.

lol don't know about a saint, I haven't had much choice, he's a arse with a real anger problem and penchant for different recreational drugs.

yeah I suppose I could, hadn't really thought about it.

[Utopia]

Well in the flat I'm in now upstairs is often playing music but I can hear nothing until I step into the hall, so a different flat can make a massive difference also, even if he was in upstairs. The last flat I was in was inadequate for this reason - I could hear upstairs snoring, as well as every movement and sound during sex. I do realise how irritating that can be though, and I doubt it's as bad as that flat because I could hear snoring.

No additional evidence of someone entering my flat after I installed new locks and a small security camera with a motion sensor alarm.

[Dougella]

^ Good news that you haven't had any more visits since you got extra security measures, I hope that continues!

[Moksha]

Originally Posted by Utopia

The last flat I was in was inadequate for this reason - I could hear upstairs snoring, as well as every movement and sound during sex. I do realise how irritating that can be though, and I doubt it's as bad as that flat because I could hear snoring.

God that makes so ****ing ANGRY Whoever built that block of flats should be fined hundreds of thousands of pounds. Building tiny flats and houses with thin walls (so as to maximise profits of course) ruins people’s lives.

[Mo34]

Originally Posted by Utopia

Well in the flat I'm in now upstairs is oftem playing music but I can hear nothing until I step into the hall, so a different flat can make a massive difference also, even if he was in upstairs. The last flat I was in was inadequate for this reason - I could hear upstairs snoring, as well as every movement and sound during sex. I do realise how irritating that can be though, and I doubt it's as bad as that flat because I could hear snoring.

No additional evidence of someone entering my flat after I installed new locks and a small security camera with a motion sensor alarm.

Yeah different flats do make a difference. The problem with my neighbour is that he is playing nightclub volume/level music - it wouldn't matter how well built the flat was it's him that's the problem.

[Messer]

Originally Posted by Counterpoint

Feeling like an emotional train wreck. Be gone o mind of mine, I no longer require thee.

I squirm at my anxious people-pleasing behaviour sometimes. But then when I don’t do it, I feel unfriendly. I cannot silence the critic. I hate the critic. Blah blah blah blah blah. I used to feel just like an anxious person but increasingly I feel like a bad person. I don’t know what’s happening inside my head.

I do this too, I sympathise.

Counterpoint, you're not a bad person. It's ok to stand up for yourself. It's ok to choose not to. But I think that it's nearly impossible to really please people. And I try to remember that when I'm beating myself up.

[Utopia]

^^ Yeah, I figured that. I would just record it as it's going on, and definitely make sure he knows you are upset about it. It isn't OK simply because it is causing you to feel so stressed by it and it seems somewhat deliberate. It's a nuisance I mean I had a similar thing with my brother and house parties growing up, and that was metal music lol. People would slam windows, but you really have to let them know about it - have you sent a letter about it? Obviously you just need to let him know and then collect lots of evidence.

This flat was much worse because I needed to concentrate on my studies and I do like some alone time to read or concentrate, we don't all like to live on top of strangers like that.

[Mo34]

Oh he knows all right. First time I complained he went mental. 2nd time I complained he flew in a rage to the window when I pulled up in my car and slammed the music on as loud as he could. Then spent a week where every time he saw me he would wait till I shut my front door and slam the music on for half an hour as loud as he could. The 3rd time I complained his mum took him to task and he came home slammed his fromt door nearly off its hinges and put the music on as loud as he could plus the gaming roars I'd complained about as loud as he possibly could for an hour before slamming it all of to dead silence. He could not care less, can't handle being told what to do and enjoys bullying people. Hence why the only solution I can see is to move.

Yeah living in a flat can be hard - I hate it.

[Dougella]

^ I would have been so tempted to have retaliated and put on my own really loud music if I were you! Obviously though that probably would have ended badly and the other neighbours would have had to cope with twice the noise though. Why do people feel the need to play music so loudly, I don't understand it.