Turn off - the opposite sex

[Dandelion10]

Slyness or fakery (John Terry, Oscar Pistorius) I have a low tolerance for men's faults in general because I think men should be exemplary and noble.

[MrsJones]

Originally Posted by Legion

I thought square meant a sort of 'pocket-protector' nerdy with a penchant for dungeons and dragons.

To clarify, I mean the roleplay (game?), not sex dungeons and mythical creatures.

LOL.

I meant more the conformist, overly conservative type who will drink themselves stupid on champagne but will recoil in horror at the thought of smoking a joint.

[kirbycrackle]

Oh and fake tan.

[Between The Bars]

Originally Posted by Isabelle Lightwood

It was actually titled "opposite sex & your pet hates" but was basically the same content as this thread. It was from 2011 and was 14 pages long. It has since been deleted so I can't link it to you.

Dinnae worry aboot it, you were right, a wis wrang.

[newbs16]

^ but they can't have one eyebrow

[Indigo_]

[kirbycrackle]

Originally Posted by Johnny88

My sister has been encouraging my Mam to get botox :O
I begged my Mam to grow wrinkly gracefully.

Good on ya! Botox even when well done, which is rare IMO, looks dreadful.

[hollowone]

Just to clarify; straight man

What turns me off; (the important stuff) shallowness, insensitivity, walking over people, lack of empathy (now the shallow stuff which is forgiveable) tattoos, piercings, sounding hard, tough, overly aggressive and assertive, obese; read on.

A note about weight; I detest the rhetoric that overweight people are lazy, lacking in willpower and self-discipline and are to blame. I think that rhetoric like that is partly responsible for our obesity epidemic. It's much more complicated than calories in, calories, out. There are a myriad of reasons, mostly psychological, such as comfort eating, bereavement and other social circumstances. On the whole, people who are overweight generally strive to improve things, just as guys like me and other on this board who are socially anxious, and see themselves as the boring, unmasculine nerd that no-one wants, strive to improve their lot. Be yourself (the self that SA has been preventing).

What is not right is KNOCKING SOMEONE'S EFFORTS to change, by labelling them as lazy.

Sorry to go off on one. I do not advocate that people who might not identify as society's ideal of attractiveness to the opposite sex deserve any rejection, ill treatment or loneliness they might have suffered. At the same time, I'm not a PC apologist. We must acknowledge that on the whole, people DO have their preferences on what they find attractive(that doesn't mean all), no-one is wrong for doing so. Men do find slimmer women attractive. ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN women find confident men who don't give a **** (though not necessarily in a sociopathic, me at the expense of everyone kind of manner) more attractive than men who play it safe all the time (anyone done any research on 'safety behaviours). This is what I've been realising as I've been getting older. This is not PUA snake oil, it's the truth.

SA stops you from being you!

[hollowone]

Just to clarify; straight man

What turns me off; (the important stuff) shallowness, insensitivity, walking over people, lack of empathy (now the shallow stuff which is forgiveable) tattoos, piercings, sounding hard, tough, overly aggressive and assertive, obese; read on.

A note about weight; I detest the rhetoric that overweight people are lazy, lacking in willpower and self-discipline and are to blame. I think that rhetoric like that is partly responsible for our obesity epidemic. It's much more complicated than calories in, calories, out. There are a myriad of reasons, mostly psychological, such as comfort eating, bereavement and other social cirtcumstances. On the whole, people who are overweight generally strive to improve things, just as guys like me and other on this board who are socially anxious, and see themselves as the boring, unmasculine nerd that no-one wants, strive to improve their lot. Be yourself (the self that SA has been preventing).

What is not right is KNOCKING SOMEONE'S EFFORTS to change, by labelling them as lazy.

Sorry to go off on one. I do not advocate that people who might not identify as society's ideal of attractiveness to the opposite sex deserve any rejection, ill treatment or loneliness they might have suffered. At the same time, I'm not a PC apologist. We must acknowledge that on the whole, people DO have their preferences on what they find attractive, no-one is wrong for doing so. Men do find slimmer women attractive. ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN women find confident men who don't give a **** attractive (though not necessarily in a sociopathic, me at the expense of everyone kind of manner) more attractive than men who play it safe all the time (anyone done any research on 'safety behaviours). This is what I've been realising as I've been getting older. This is not PUA snake oil, it's the truth.

SA stops you from being you!

[hollowone]

Originally Posted by MrsJones
Brace yourself, men of SAUK:

Cocky men
Egocentric men
Men who won't cook/clean/look after children because they feel it emasculates them
Men who think crying is for the weak
Men with no shame
Materialistic men
Eyebrow pluckers (for overly groomed brows, accentuating the arch)
Men with big cars to compensate for their small willies
Men who project their insecurities onto women, usually in the form of put downs
Violent men/ verbally aggressive men
Hipsters
UKIP supporters
Men who feel that it should only be women who make the effort to look and smell good
Men who pursue you when you have shown absolutely zero interest...and those who continue to pursue you even when you've told them you're not interested
Square men
Short men with a complex
Men with too much pride
BIGOTED MEN!
Men who insist on M&S hummus and no other
Overly groomed men
Men with bad breath
Overly submissive men
Heavy drinkers
Men with no sense of humour
Short-tempered men
Men with dirt under their fingernails
Men who expect you to swoon at their very presence and rip your clothes off for them
Men in skin tight trousers

As for women: Everything.

OK, I'll knit pick. Some of that does appear petty and trivial, I hope that when you've done online dating you don't come up with a list like this.

Men who won't cook/clean/look after children because they feel it emasculates them

Very few men would feel emasculated by being asked to take on their share of the burden.

Is it I 'can't be arsed because I'm a lazy sod' or 'wont because of fear of being seen as emasculated'? If the former has been the case that's what I'd be concerned about and what I'd consider worth bringing-up. If the latter has been the case, you're either unlucky, or your 'confirmation bias' is playing-up; what you've experienced in men prior that might have fitted this pattern, might be projected onto all men you might meet. Be careful my dear of the thinking patterns.

[David K]

Originally Posted by hollowone

We must acknowledge that on the whole, people DO have their preferences on what they find attractive, no-one is wrong for doing so.

Originally Posted by hollowone

OK, I'll knit pick. Some of that does appear petty and trivial, I hope that when you've done online dating you don't come up with a list like this.

[Silent Ninja]

There are no turn-offs for the opposite sex, all women are lovely and I'd be happy to spend the rest of my life with any woman who showed any interest in me (well probably not any woman but most).

[MrsJones]

Originally Posted by hollowone

OK, I'll knit pick. Some of that does appear petty and trivial, I hope that when you've done online dating you don't come up with a list like this.

Very few men would feel emasculated by being asked to take on their share of the burden.

Is it I 'can't be arsed because I'm a lazy sod' or 'wont because of fear of being seen as emasculated'? If the former has been the case that's what I'd be concerned about and what I'd consider worth bringing-up. If the latter has been the case, you're either unlucky, or your 'confirmation bias' is playing-up; what you've experienced in men prior that might have fitted this pattern, might be projected onto all men you might meet. Be careful my dear of the thinking patterns.

Petty and trivial it might be, but it has never stopped me from being in successful relationships. You're taking this FAR too seriously, the list wasn't intended for that. "Men who insist on M&S hummus and no other"-- read between the lines, hollowone; I meant snobby men who have expensive taste and won't settle for anything less. Your list includes "tattoos" and "piercings"- to ME, that's quite trivial. Each to their own.

And my dating profile doesn't contain anything because I don't have one. I'm currently in a relationship-- and yes, he does in fact tick all the boxes. I didn't ask for your commentary and I certainly didn't ask for your advice.

You say very few men would be emasculated by being asked to take on their share of the burden. Firstly, I'm not projecting any sort of confirmation bias onto men I meet. Where I'm from, this is a very common mentality among men...my dear.

[Ajax Amsterdam]

I'm with Mrs Jones on this. I think the majority of people have turn ons and turn offs others might find trivial. I know I have mine. It's never stopped me having relationships though. Far from it.

[MrsJones]

Originally Posted by Ajax Amsterdam

I'm with Mrs Jones on this. I think the majority of people have turn ons and turn offs others might find trivial. I know I have mine. It's never stopped me having relationships though. Far from it.

Hear, hear!

[Z.]

Not that I'm very much attracted to the opposite sex, but any inkling of bigotry and right-wing ****wittery, then I want nothing to do with them. So basically most people.

[MrsJones]

Originally Posted by Angelica

attitude can curtail your chances more than weight,dress size or height can.

Best thing said on this thread.

[Utopia]

I personally feel this is a negative thread as it might exacerbate peoples insecurities. I guess it's good to be honest though... :P

[MrsJones]

Originally Posted by quietuker

As a short guy

You are NOT short, QU. Objectively speaking, you are not short at all. Dunno how many times I have to tell you this! Don't compare yourself to those lanky Year 7s; must be something in the milk these days.

[Z.]

Originally Posted by quietuker

Short men who don't have a complex and are decent will still be looked down upon by the vast majority of women.

"Looked down upon" is a bit of an extreme characterisation. In my neighbourhood alone, there are three men who are around 5'5", and they're all married with children, so...

If a group of people have a preference for something (height for instance) it doesn't exactly translate into an active dislike for those who don't have that preferred quality. People tend to view others as a whole - a conglomeration of qualities and characteristics - rather than a limited set of characteristics.

[José Raúl Capablanca]

Originally Posted by Z.

"Looked down upon" is a bit of an extreme characterisation. In my neighbourhood alone, there are three men who are around 5'5", and they're all married with children, so...

If a group of people have a preference for something (height for instance) it doesn't exactly translate into an active dislike for those who don't have that preferred quality. People tend to view others as a whole - a conglomeration of qualities and characteristics - rather than a limited set of characteristics.

Maybe he meant literally.
I'll get my coat

[Z.]

Originally Posted by quietuker

Im probably shooting myself in the foot by replying to this topic

Anyway

Maybe it is an extreme characterisation but I am only speaking from experiences. Maybe there are 5'5 men with wives but it doesn't take away the negative label attached does it?

I always find those kind of responses not worthy if im honest because its just like you are trying to avoid the truths of reality if that makes any sense.

Oh there definitely is a negative association with being short, and your experience is valid.

I just mean to say that nobody should rule out having a relationship just because they're short, which I see quite a lot.

[Fantastical]

^ Just to add - I'm 5'1" and my other half is about 5'4" I think. I like his height.

[Oddity]

My brother has had loads of girlfriends, was married, got two kids, women love him. He's 5'9" and gets pissed off because I'm 6'....

[Consolida]

I don't much like beards, tattoos or piercings but if I clicked with someone with any of these I know that these so called 'turn offs' would very quickly become irrelevant.

As for short guys being at a disadvantage in attracting a mate merely because of their height, well, I find that very difficult to believe. My husband is the same height as me at 5"4 and to me he is the most attractive man in the world because he is comfortable in his own skin. He has never found it difficult to attract females, in fact most women found his short stature 'cute'. Guys that say they aren't able to meet someone purely because of their height are definitely deluding themselves and it is far more likely other issues such as poor self esteem that is the main barrier to meeting a partner.

[Tom Morello]

I just laugh when people make out height to be this hugely important thing. I think it means very little. I'm taller than most but women barely notice me.

[Laura84]

Originally Posted by Legion

Can't be doing with a woman that doesn't like Game of Thrones

Hear hear

[newbs16]

^ I don't watch it

[hollowone]

I just want to apologise for this, I was pretty drunk at the time of writing on Friday/early saturday and reading what I've written is quite embarrassing. On seeing that I'm thinking is that really me!?

Originally Posted by hollowone
OK, I'll knit pick. Some of that does appear petty and trivial, I hope that when you've done online dating you don't come up with a list like this.

Very few men would feel emasculated by being asked to take on their share of the burden.

Is it I 'can't be arsed because I'm a lazy sod' or 'wont because of fear of being seen as emasculated'? If the former has been the case that's what I'd be concerned about and what I'd consider worth bringing-up. If the latter has been the case, you're either unlucky, or your 'confirmation bias' is playing-up; what you've experienced in men prior that might have fitted this pattern, might be projected onto all men you might meet. Be careful my dear of the thinking patterns.
Petty and trivial it might be, but it has never stopped me from being in successful relationships. You're taking this FAR too seriously, the list wasn't intended for that. "Men who insist on M&S hummus and no other"-- read between the lines, hollowone; I meant snobby men who have expensive taste and won't settle for anything less. Your list includes "tattoos" and "piercings"- to ME, that's quite trivial. Each to their own.

And my dating profile doesn't contain anything because I don't have one. I'm currently in a relationship-- and yes, he does in fact tick all the boxes. I didn't ask for your commentary and I certainly didn't ask for your advice.

You say very few men would be emasculated by being asked to take on their share of the burden. Firstly, I'm not projecting any sort of confirmation bias onto men I meet. Where I'm from, this is a very common mentality among men...my dear.

Apologies, I missed that item regarding snobby people and was focusing on the size of the list rather than the content at the time. I was focused on lists I've seen on dating sites and how I feel about what I see. You're right, I took this thread too seriously.

[Cairn]

I'd pay for sex with a babestation wench.