What do you make of the meetup.com world?

[Laurel]

Do you find relevant and interesting groups near you? Been any meets? Set up any groups?

[Mr. Nobody]

I went to a social anxiety meet-up once, advertised on meet-up.com
I had a really good day out,
I think it was set up by a couple of former members on here, so things flowed a bit better.

I've heard from other former members from here who have been going to social anxiety meet-up groups,
it seemed to be going well, although it was difficult getting to know totally new people.

I think it makes a difference when you are chatting on here and then meeting up,
rather than just meeting people straight off the bat,
although I can see advantages of both.

there was another meet-up group advertised on here that I went to a few times,
one aspect that probably isn't thought about is that it can actually be quite depressing coming across even more people out there who are struggling with SA,
it can be quite disheartening to see even more lives blighted by this strange affliction.

I think money can be an off-putting aspect of meet-up, but I can understand that some money is required for the management and admin of the site.

[anxiouslondoner]

I just go to beer meetups occasionally.
I'm a member of an introverts meetup group but I've never been to any events.

[Jen.]

I was intending to go to a new one just earlier today for their first meet up. It was supposed to be for women in their 20s and 30s to go on walks and make new friends, which sounded great to me. There was one angry (or maybe jealous?) comment from someone saying "There's already a walking group for women, we met just today!" The problem with that is theirs is an all ages one, and them meeting in the morning on weekdays probably means the age range will be on the older end of the spectrum. I don't have anything against older people, but I'm 32 and can't really see myself becoming best friends with a 75 year old, so I was exited to hear there was finally one for the kind of age range I'd be friends with.

Anyway, I went this morning to where they were meeting by the river with the intention of just seeing what the group was like, how many were there, and if I felt up to joining in. I wasn't expecting much since looking at the comments over the last week it seemed like people were trying to turn it into something that it was never intended to be. Most were saying "Can I bring my dogs/children?" I dislike dogs and children, so I was already put off and thinking I wouldn't be staying. When I got there, pretending I was just on my own walk, there were maybe 18-20 women waiting, more children than adults, and about 10 dogs barking and running all over the place. I just turned around and came home.

It wouldn't have been good anyway, that amount of people walking along a narrow river path, it was the wrong venue for much talking to take place. The mums already have countless social groups around here, I don't know why they need to take over another. I've just heard that the founder of the group decided not to bother going to this first meeting for the same reason too Oh well.

[biscuits]

Round here there are a meet-up.com groups for lovers of internet security and about five groups that are all about crystals. There used to be a group called Dads and Bacon.

As someone who doesn't like internet security, crystals, or bacon the pickings are slim.

London meet up looks amazing though. I bet it's great if you live in a lively town or city.

I'd be interested in a clay/painting group - I keep seeing those advertised in cities.

[Laurel]

That’s interesting, lots of irrelevant groups but some people have found a couple of ones to go to.
@Nanu, I actually created my own Meetup group last year. That was never wracking. 50 people actually joined the group but set up a meet and nobody would come. So that was that. I get annoyed you get one or two groups that look any good and they’re bangpacked with 30-40 people. Sod that!
I also feel it’s been taken over by different sets of people than how it started up. But I don’t know.
Biscuits is right that to get the best benefit from of Meetup it’s best living in a city. Somewhere like Bristol there’s just so many Meetup groups.

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by Jen.

I was intending to go to a new one just earlier today for their first meet up. It was supposed to be for women in their 20s and 30s to go on walks and make new friends, which sounded great to me. There was one angry (or maybe jealous?) comment from someone saying "There's already a walking group for women, we met just today!" The problem with that is theirs is an all ages one, and them meeting in the morning on weekdays probably means the age range will be on the older end of the spectrum. I don't have anything against older people, but I'm 32 and can't really see myself becoming best friends with a 75 year old, so I was exited to hear there was finally one for the kind of age range I'd be friends with.

Anyway, I went this morning to where they were meeting by the river with the intention of just seeing what the group was like, how many were there, and if I felt up to joining in. I wasn't expecting much since looking at the comments over the last week it seemed like people were trying to turn it into something that it was never intended to be. Most were saying "Can I bring my dogs/children?" I dislike dogs and children, so I was already put off and thinking I wouldn't be staying. When I got there, pretending I was just on my own walk, there were maybe 18-20 women waiting, more children than adults, and about 10 dogs barking and running all over the place. I just turned around and came home.

It wouldn't have been good anyway, that amount of people walking along a narrow river path, it was the wrong venue for much talking to take place. The mums already have countless social groups around here, I don't know why they need to take over another. I've just heard that the founder of the group decided not to bother going to this first meeting for the same reason too Oh well.

Maybe the original founder needs to start a different child-free and dog-free women's meet up group

[choirgirl]

It seems inevitable that a childfree walking group wouldn't last, because over time some people will become parents and will want to continue going to see their pals. Frustrating though, when there's already lots of groups.

I have wimped out so far. I'm only really interested in gay stuff because I'm suddenly feeling the lack of it. I did go to something small at a pub but I suddenly felt like a child and wimped out. They were all in their 40s and 50s which is obviously appropriate for me and nobody had a baby hurrah, but I just felt suddenly like a school leaver. I felt somehow like I'd fallen between the furniture. I often feel that but I felt it particularly strongly. Then there's a women only one I thought might do nicely but it's somewhat inconvenient to get to, and the more inconvenient the more opportunity there is to wimp out. Basically I'm not feeling sociable, but I am feeling needy. If there was something close by based on an activity that was passably interesting then I would do that for the hell of it but there isn't. I think I'm just too locked into hermit mode and only seeing people I already know. I just have a bad attitude at present. I'm not in an platonically attractive, drawing people to me mode.

[Laurel]

yeah I do feel like that choirgirl too. I feel going to a meetup, it's just a recipe for rejection. But it is hard, in life you somehow have to meet new people. It's just trying to find the pretences and comfort in doing so.

[BritishPeace]

I'm going and have been to a few, I'm building my social circle!

[Boy]

Hmm... Weird. No social anxiety group even in Bristol on meetup.com?
Correct me if I'm wrong.
Just introverts groups.

[Sudoku]

Would recommend. I haven't used it in a few years, but went to a few business / tech / crypto / hiking events in the past and met some cool people. Everyone was very friendly (and you already have a shared interest to talk about which helps).

[biscuits]

Does anyone have much luck with Facebook meet-ups. Is that a thing?

[Tembo]

I was relatively successful at attending Meetup events before Covid. It was a 20s and 30s group, with various events. I mostly went to the pub quizzes, social meetups, and even a few house parties! Incredible now that I think about it. I did attend a few walks, but I notice most people tend to like to march rather than walk, which is intolerable for me. A shame as I enjoy walks.

Anyway, then Covid hit and I haven’t attended a Meetup since, sadly. Unfortunately most of the people I knew have moved on, some who are friends now meetup privately instead (of course I never really became friends with anyone). Brexit has had an impact too. There were lots of foreign people in the group, almost half I’d say. From France, Belgium, Germany, Poland, Hungary, Czech Republic. They have mostly had to return to the EU!
The group seems a bit of a ghost town now, and most events are in nearby towns rather than my town. Going to events in another town at night doesnt really appeal to me. Public transport is almost non-existent in the events, I’m not too keen on driving at night, and driving would mean I couldn’t drink.

The place I live is quite a busy, cosmopolitan place, but it seems near-impossible to meet people. Makes me a bit sad really.

Ok I’ve turned my positive post into self-pity. If there is a Meetup group nearby that you like the look of, I would thoroughly recommend joining. I managed to do things I never thought I’d be able to do. It hasn’t worked out for me but it gave me some new opportunities.

[Amara 94]

I think meetup can be good but from experience it's about whether or not the people in the group think that you fit in.

[ANewHorizon]

the problem with meetup.com, the same people with the same 'people vacuum' use the same site. So you try avoid somebody, then discover they're going the same meet.

[Sunrise]

Just had a look at meetup and there's nothing within 50 miles of me. It seems to be something aimed more at those living in big cities?

I wonder if it's not so much to do with lack of people but the mentality of smaller towns? There's nothing like that round my way and I doubt there would be much of a market for it.

I remember ages ago reading one of those horrible Facebook groups you get for "local issues", and in amongst all the posts complaining about bins not being emptied on time and people parking badly was someone who had recently moved to the area asking if there were any local friendship group type things. I read the replies and it consisted of nothing but piss-taking. I felt quite sorry for them really but I think it summed up the mentality of living in small, insular towns. Everyone has been with their own little friendship group since they were in short trousers and the opportunities to meet new people are few and far between.