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#91
16th February 2007, 21:41
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relationship?
Quote:
Its hard when im surrounded by damn sexy women all the time, lol |
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#92
17th February 2007, 01:43
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relationship?
Well, this threads certainly been a big hit. I posted in it a month ago and yet it's still going on.
My doors still open, it'll be closed the day i die. Sorry to see some people withdrawing their contributions from this thread but it is a tough subject to discuss. |
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#93
17th February 2007, 02:46
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relations
EDIT: Might be worth keeping, now conversation has picked up.
Quote:
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#94
17th February 2007, 20:35
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relationship?
i have given up on the idea of relationships partly because ive never been in a proper one ...ive had involvement with guys all of whom have been in some way..shall we say...nasty pieces of work,,,who wanted to use me and then dump me ...im a decent girl...im kind and i have ideals and morals..but i am obviously not girlfriend material...
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#95
17th February 2007, 21:13
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relations
Quote:
 I know men who only see women as (and I quote) "a bit of skirt" but not all men see women for sexual gratification before dumping them or mistreats their partner. Keep the faith, you'll find someone nice and decent one day and focus on the other things in life - I know, I have to keep thinking the same thing too. 
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#96
18th February 2007, 01:46
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relationship?
I'm sorry some of you feel that way about this thread........
It is a touchy one, most definitely........ Jinxed: Sorry if u've taken wot I've said to heart; that was a joke about the 'whore' thing, and part of one of my 'online personae'........ I take it you are female?........Ii thought u were male. lol...... TBH I wanted to get this thread in the SAUK record books to boost my ego. nevermind...... Oh, OK, part of me cannot be arsed bein serious anymore.....About anything.....Feelin quite good bout meself, and obv some folks have taken my dark/odd sense of humour to heart........So apologies!  Laters! |
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#97
18th February 2007, 19:18
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relations
I don't get a lot of the replies in this thread. Some people say they have "closed the door" on ever finding a relationship but I would guess that for MOST people this is because they believe nobody could ever like them (SA talking) and because they think the other person could never live with or understand the SA.
I do understand that it's the SA making people feel like this, but at least open your mind to the possibility that someone out there won't reject you because of the SA, and if you ever meet this person and you both get on, there's a good chance something might develop from it. Imagine you find someone who really understood why you find it difficult going out places? Imagine you find someone who would rather just stay in and cook a nice dinner together, or go somewhere quiet with just the two of you, rather than the local pub? It's going to be a real struggle granted, and for those who have never had experience with relationships it's going to be even more daunting, but I don't think it's healthy to give up totally. Most relationships are a struggle SA or no SA. I think most of the single people in this thread are longing for a relationship, but at the same time pretending they don't care because it's easier to be this way. Lots of people are waiting for someone to come along and sweep them off their feet when the reality is their perfect partner is probably sitting there waiting for exactly the same thing! I don't have any magical solutions to the whole SA thing or finding a relationship, but sometimes you just have to stick your neck out to stand a chance of finding someone who's right for you. Of course this is 10,000x harder when you've got SA but the bottom line is that the worst case scenario is you end up where you started, pretending you don't care. Rejection and battling the SA is hard yes, but a lifetime of being lonely and not having anyone special to be there for you is surely a lot harder? I accept there are some who really don't want a relationship, but I would imagine when it comes down to it these people are a tiny minority. |
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#98
18th February 2007, 19:41
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relations
Just reading carpy's post made me think. Does anyone else have a hard time even admitting they would like a relationship?
Not sure why I do, maybe because I feel so bad about myself and where I am in life sometimes that I feel others would think I'm stupid for even thinking about it  It feels like its a pathetic thing to admit to.
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#99
18th February 2007, 21:05
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relations
I do agree with what Carpy says, in terms of myself, yes, I would like a relationship. However, as I said before in this thread, there are a number of issues I need to face and resolve before I could contemplate even going into a relationship.
One of them is the thought, that yes, women do see me as a good friend, but I think (and through a good number of scenarios in the past) that I am not relationship material. Alas, so now I am in the position where I believe not pursing any relationship may be the best idea for the foreseeable future, at least until the CBT and social group has ceased, but I could see this being the case for maybe even years to come. Ideally, first priority must be to work on my CBT, SA, positivity, self-esteem, communication, assertiveness, budgeting, career, earn more money, a better house - maybe a mortgage and maybe drive a car before even contemplating finding a partner. Of course, fate can also play its hand and anything could happen tomorrow, the next week, month or year, but I believe these should be my plans for the future to improve my happiness and my life, before finding a partner becomes more of a priority. |
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#100
18th February 2007, 21:43
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relationship?
The eternal question:
Who thinks being nice is overrated? I'm almost certain it is......... I'm not sayin I'm gonna go out tomorrow and start killin puppies, but U gotta know wot u want and waste no time in gettin it. I've had enuff......I'm feelin better......I'm gonna ave it. Take care! |
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#101
18th February 2007, 21:58
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relations
Quote:
http://www.social-anxiety-community....ad.php?t=13202 |
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#102
18th February 2007, 22:28
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relations
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Happen it is covered there.......... I remember that......... Some of it made sense! 
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#103
27th February 2007, 22:41
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relations
No, I haven't closed the door on the possibility. Infact, things are looking bright on that front. The problem is, whenever there is a very imminent possibility of a relationship....I've just run for the hills. Now I think I am ready for one. To jump in and just give something a try for once in my life
I've slammed the door shut on some very nice girls, some of them I never had a thing for, despite being nice people. On a couple of occasions, I was pinching myself so hard that I never put my own feelings across to the girl, that she had done constantly for about a year. Needless to say she has moved on. Despite this, it is nice to know that I have had some interest from some very attractive, intelligent, clever and wonderful people, despite the fact that I suffer crippling anxiety about my own perceptions of my appearance (I've been called a freak,mainly due to my weight, or lack of it) before, so not everyone takes kindly in that department. And of course there are always doubts about the nature of my personality, but the evidence suggests that is simply not the case. This has been my lifeline. |
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#104
28th February 2007, 10:28
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relations
Quote:
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#105
28th February 2007, 10:44
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relations
I am in a relationship, married. I must admit the first few years were really tough due to my insecurities and jealousies.
Do many of you have trust and insecurity issues in relationships?? I think I could of easily given up in those early years as it was so tough but I'm glad I didn't. W!llow.x |
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#106
28th February 2007, 14:49
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relations
Until i get a job, it's locked and bolted.
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#108
28th February 2007, 17:09
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relations
Its prob shut at the mo because when i do start a relationship it just filters out after awhile because of my shyness gets in the way so i'm abit sick & tired of that happening so why bother
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#109
28th February 2007, 22:10
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relations
Quote:
I still talk to her but it isnt the same coz of what happened. Thats why i wouldnt like to get involved with someone who i am friends with. Its just i cant see my chatting up someone who i dont know. Aaah it so frustrating. Its probably the one thing that gets me really down, my lack of relationships. |
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#110
28th February 2007, 22:44
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relations
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Yeah, coz everything in ya head is geared towards it innit?......And thus everythin in society.
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#111
1st March 2007, 03:18
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relationship?
No I havent given up on finding someone, although at times I think no one will ever want me then at other times I realise I've got so much to offer that surely some decent guy will see that! So my feelings fluctuate somewhat on this but I do know that I don't want to be alone forever and do want to get married at some point, so there is hope there
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#112
1st March 2007, 17:58
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relationship?
I was always a shy lad, never thought I'd get my leg over, but I did it so you's can too. I have my missus now. Never give up boys & girls -I'm not a chauvanist.)
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#113
2nd March 2007, 20:38
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relationship?
Completely agree that it is alot easier for women after all men are
normally the ones expected to make the first move? I think anyway especially if you have sa with the strong symptom of fearing rejection and low self confidence, most women at least get the self confidence boost of men chatting them up in occasionally. So I do feel for you guys but dont give up I know that you will one day meet mrs right!! It just takes alot longer if you have any social anxiety probs Dont give up!! |
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#115
3rd March 2007, 00:35
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relationship?
Quote:
Ha ha!....I'm a chauvanist too. Only kiddin. 
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#116
3rd March 2007, 03:10
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relationship?
Quote:
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#117
4th March 2007, 01:45
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relationship?
I'm 32. I have friends. I don't see them that often anymore because they are mostly settled down etc. I don't think I am a total ****, and although I am no looker I am not not so ugly that I make people vomit to look at me. One of my aforementioned friends, when he is drunk, declares an intention to hook me up. I think my utter lack of success is possibly a talking point behind my back.
It isn't going to happen. I'm not sure why, but there is some reason. Possibly genetic, my older brother was in his late thirties before he had a relationship. And I am more ****ed up than him. But I don't like this. It sends me nuts. In 10 years..... Christ, I hate to think. |
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#118
9th March 2007, 21:40
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relationship?
Hey Jon, thought id keep this thread going.
Things have certainly changed for me in the last couple of days. Id kind of told myself to forget about getting a girlfriend a few months, concentrate on other things etc etc Then i get a message on MySpace from a girl called Ella, never met her before but we get chatting on MSN and really hit it off. Bad thing is she lives in Preston, not too far but not close enough really. Anyway weve sort of arranged a date for next Sunday and ive even asked if she wants to go out next Thursday as well. Cant believe how confident i feel when chatting to her. Got me in a great mood for the weekend though. Maybe there is some light at the end of this dark tunnel |
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#119
10th March 2007, 16:22
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relationship?
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Sounds gud. Hope it goes well. I told u this bu text, though! lol |
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#120
10th March 2007, 21:01
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Re: How many of you have absolutely 100% closed the door on the chance of a relationship?
No worries Jon, ill keep u posted. Probably all end in a mess tomorrow when we go out. Read my bit in the trophy room coz i dont wanna repeat myself here
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