Type what you're thinking about right now (11)

[Quietman]

I thought so too, I just dont understand people sometimes

[Rocket Spud]

Maybe she thought, because it was his, that it was for him to do with as he pleases... and now you've gone and desecrated the whole thing with your sharing and giving ways. I don't know, people have strange ideas.

[limey123]

Originally Posted by Quietman

Sorry to hear that Limey, I have had that at the past two places where I worked, its not nice people always think we should be loud and silly like them in my experience they are the ones with the problem not us I tried to ignore them but it is very hard they caused me to have my first mental breakdown

Thanks, Quietman. I'm sorry to hear things got so bad for you that you had a breakdown. I fear more of these issues at the current workplace and at possible future workplaces, because, as you said, we quiet folks tend to be singled out as targets. It's deeply unfair but how things often seem to go. I've made a mental note that I've got to try to come more out of my shell at the next place (which might not be a large, open plan office) but it's not easy.

[Amara 94]

Yesterday at work was maybe eye opening.

There was a wedding.

About 6 agency staff and the managers wife came. Most of the agency were late teens or early 20s. At first one agency staff that was a male who played football was treating me like I didn’t know what I was doing or like I was slow. I thought he was overly proud at times. Towards the end though he did this less of the patronising behaviour and called me a hard worker.

Another was an attractive female who said that she also worked in other hotels and seemed to be easily able to get on with people. She would always try to fault me and I found her overly proud or overly confident at certain points. She wasn’t all bad though. She reminded me, not fully, but a bit of my pretty cousin. Maybe that’s a good sign as it gets rid of some feelings of envy I may have had from this cousin.

I feel once someone gets in my bad books it’s hard for them to get in my good books. Maybe it’s also an honesty thing, maybe realistically most people are meant to be both in one’s bad and good books???

There was another agency worker. She actually went there with her mum. A teen, 17 years old. She didn’t seem socially cool like the others and was overweight. But she was nice to me and it seemed very easy to speak to her. From conversation she seems intelligent. One colleague was saying I should’ve gotten her number. Her interaction made my day, gave me hope. I didn’t like her because of her appearance but I liked her character.

It also showed that I can get on with someone and that I don’t really know what I like. I think in like a woman that is physically attractive mostly, I like curvy women, the girl was curvy but also overweight. But then I liked her more than the physically attractive female temp worker just because she wasn’t overly proud and stuff. Maybe my women may be like that 17 year old female. I also feel some woman on my job that is a year younger than me may be attracted to me as she always says hi and stuff. I don’t think I’m attracted to her but have to know her more to know how I feel.

The fact I got on with this female, the 17 year old, I’m 27, some people think or assume I’m in my early 20’s though, kind of weakened the social issues I face such as being avoided by certain people because of my social awkwardness and passive aggressive behaviours by others. It makes me feel like these are not my people, I should seek others that understand me. It also weakened the thoughts of low status men/women and vice versa, the definition of a real man. If you think about it these definitions are overly narrow and actually neurotypically biased I think, even the expectation of me to not be socially awkward is.

In the past though, and even currently, I have met attractive women, even ones where men noticeably treat them differently, be nice to me. Not in an I’m attracted to you way but more of an, I’m interested in getting to know you, curiosity, way. Seeing beyond appearance. I think I should be thankful for those people.

I am also thinking of quitting my job. Even the agency workers were able to build rapport more with the wedding guests than me. I should accept my fate, still work on social skills and stuff, but focus more on where my strengths lie.

[Tembo]

I’d recommend solo trips to pubs and cafes to many, but I would certainly suggest perhaps not going on a Friday or Saturday evening.

At quieter times, it can be a relaxed atmosphere, and many other people are sitting in their on their own. However I went yesterday evening, and wish I didn’t - just felt like an absolute lemon - everyone else in big groups having a laugh.

I had a single table with two chairs. I had my bag on the other chair, and my feet resting on the bar at the bottom of the chair. Then all of a sudden, I saw my bag being placed on the floor, then my feet fell to the floor. Some typical blokey bloke just took the chair without even saying anything or any eye contact. Nice. It’s examples like that which mean solo visits to pubs on Saturday nights are not a great idea for me. But I’d recommend going on a quiet lunchtime.

[Scurrilous Rumour]

Originally Posted by Tembo

I’d recommend solo trips to pubs and cafes to many, but I would certainly suggest perhaps not going on a Friday or Saturday evening.

Lunchtime on January 1st is the quietest time to go into a pub. Just about guaranteed to be empty and the landlord and bar staff won't be interested in talking.

Put it in your diaries now.

[biscuits]

^^ I like going to cafes on my own. I try and get a bit of work done in them. There are often a few others doing the same thing. I don't think I'd go to a pub on my own - mainly because I'm not into alcohol so it would be strange for me to be in a pub. Although, I know they do coffees and soft drinks. I dunno being around people who are drinking makes me feel awkward.

[biscuits]

My cat has started limping. I asked her if she was okay and she meowed at me like she's in pain. Then she started growling at me when I was near her and turning her head away from me. She's generally quite growly and grumpy. I think she's warning me off from touching her leg.

[Tembo]

^^ Yes I’d say cafes are easier. I first started going alone to cafes before I ventured alone into a pub.

Some of the cafes near me are a bit trendy though, and I feel a bit out of place. I seem to fit a lot better with the old men drinking in the corner at midday.

Also with pubs, it’s more likely to be ordering at the bar, then no more human interaction, rather than having to awkwardly try and get the bill at the end. Although with the cost of a pint getting much closer to £6, I think I’ll be going to cafes more frequently.

Hope your cat is ok biscuits - hopefully just strained a muscle or something and hopefully will be fine with a bit of rest?

[Percy]

Originally Posted by biscuits

My cat has started limping. I asked her if she was okay and she meowed at me like she's in pain. Then she started growling at me when I was near her and turning her head away from me. She's generally quite growly and grumpy. I think she's warning me off from touching her leg.

Aw which cat? The frog tormentor or the toad stalker?

[Ben]

Originally Posted by biscuits

My cat has started limping. I asked her if she was okay and she meowed at me like she's in pain. Then she started growling at me when I was near her and turning her head away from me. She's generally quite growly and grumpy. I think she's warning me off from touching her leg.

I noticed my cat had a tapeworm coming out of its backside. It was kinda gross. Never was a cat person until I moved in with my missus and realise how I am now totally a cat person, and think of them as the children I never had.


Maybe your cat has just landed funny somehow, give it a week and sure they will be fine.

[biscuits]

Thank you, all . I'm now in bed with her and she growls if I look at her. Definitely telling me to give her space! Yes, I'll see how she is tomorrow after she's had a good rest.

It's the baby frog torturer!

Oh gosh...seeing a tapeworm emerge from a borthole is not something I've seen nor do I look forward to ever seeing

[Amara 94]

How it seems like so much self help advice that is common seems to be catered for the neurotypical individual.

After work yesterday and getting on with one agency worker well I’m starting to think maybe I’m not meant to fit in but rather I’m meant to use my strengths to help others.

[Amara 94]

You shouldn’t allow people opinion get too much to your head.

An old man just spat hardly when he saw me, but then he doesn’t even know me. I feel the Saturday I worked with agency staff was eye opening in that was as some people judged harshly when they don’t know you. And it isn’t one job to please them, rather help and educate them and vice versa.

[Amara 94]

When I take a break from social media and even YouTube I usually feel refreshed. It’s easier to focus.

I think meeting my aunt a few weeks ago partially caused this depression episode I recently had. It was nice to meet her but then when she judged my clothes and I felt the expectation to buy more clothes, jewellery, watches, it’s not bad but struggling to reach my expectations that were influenced by her opinions probably made me feel helpless.

Before that I had a period where I thought to live a simple life was underrated. That it was even okay to be seen as boring if I was looking after my mental health. I think this made me feel okay at least. I think the issue with this is that it’s avoiding what I really want to an extent but then pushing myself the way I feel my aunt expected is unhealthy for me as it leaves my feeling hopeless.

[Amara 94]

I feel like my skin is growing a bit thicker metaphorically. Maybe I’m a bit more resilient.

[Tubbs]

Originally Posted by biscuits

My cat has started limping. I asked her if she was okay and she meowed at me like she's in pain. Then she started growling at me when I was near her and turning her head away from me. She's generally quite growly and grumpy. I think she's warning me off from touching her leg.

Oh no, hope kitty is okay 😕

[biscuits]

^ Thank you, Tubbs. She slept the whole night through and woke up purring. She came down for breakfast, went out and then went back to bed again until 4pm! She looks a little bit stiff when she walks but nothing as worrying as yesterday! I wonder if she got stung or something?

[Quietman]

That my moms funeral is going to be stressful over 60 people to make small talk with and then to do a speech I hope I don’t let her down not looking forward to the 4 May

[biscuits]

^^ aww there no way you could let her down, Quietman you come across as a very thoughtful and gentle person and that will come across in your speech, I'm sure . if you need to take some time away from people then that would be completely reasonable. Can you speak with your siblings to let them know, so they can be with you and help with the small talk side of it?

^^^ thank you, you're very sweet. She's just come in now without limping and she let me give her a little cheek tickle, so I think she's recovered now :D. Please give Prinny a little tickle in her preferred tickling spot from me x

[Quietman]

Thanks guys, I’m practising the speech and my sister and I are going up to the altar together to deliver our speeches.

[biscuits]

^ I did that with my sister at our nan's funeral. She took over from me when I broke down. Then I read my poem when I was ready. Whatever happens, I'm sure it will be a beautiful and touching tribute to your mum

[biscuits]

I think my cat has an ear infection. This is going to sound weird, but I sniffed her ear and it is smelly. I've never smelt her ear before to make a comparison, but the odour is apparent.

When she hurt her paw (which seems totally fine now) she kept twitching her face towards her right ear. And she was growling if I went to stroke her. The right side of her face looks puffy. So now I wonder if she has an ear infection. We're going to try and take her to the vet as being a google vet is probably not the best idea!

[Tembo]

Quietman, there’s no way you’re going to be letting your Mum down. It’s lovely that your sister is going up there with you.

Biscuits, I’m no cat expert but my dog is prone to ear infections. When it happens, she starts shaking her head more, and her ear certainly is much smellier when it happens. So may be a sign your cat may have one too! Hopefully not though.

[biscuits]

^ aw your poor dog. Ear infections are horrible. It must be so traumatic for animals to get them! He face has fully puffed up on the right side now, so there's definitely an infection. Will get her to the vets pronto tomorrow. Hopefully they'll give her an injection of antibiotics to work quickly on bringing down the swelling.

[biscuits]

It turns out that she does have a bad ear infection. The vet had to clip away at her fur. She's had an antibiotic injection and needs ear drops twice a day.

[Quietman]

Sorry to hear about your cat biscuits, hoping she makes a quick recovery, it’s always hard to see a pet poorly

Apologies I meant cat

[biscuits]

Thank you cats heal quite quickly so I'm not too worried any more. I feel really bad for not connecting the dots sooner. Her limp distracted me from her ear.

No worries! I also have a dog

[Rocket Spud]

How stupid i am for indulging an old phobia of mine and reading/watching things about schizophrenia. I don't know why but i suddenly had a curiosity about what peoples first experiences with schizophrenia were... and started going down a rabbit hole

[Jam do Bronx]

^ I used to have a big fear of schizophrenia, which dominated me for a period. It's actually a common OCD theme.