Do you think that most people like you or don't like you?

[BritishPeace]

I myself, I feel that most people like me in real life, they say I am funny (I am not though), and not serious, game for a laugh, and I have loads of friends. But I do not like myself for some reason. It is why I am self-destructive with alcohol, and high fat foods, and taking risks. This came to mind because I often feel like people do not like me, but today and in fact every day that I recall there are always loads of people around me and they enjoy being around me but I to myself have nothing to offer and thought I was unlikable to most people, but I can't be because I always have people around me caring for me and involving me in stuff and conversation.

[shadowonthewall]

I have no friends at all. I think that most people neither like nor dislike me. Older people tend to like me for what they perceive as my naivete and
guilelessness (I think).

Unfortunately, I'm just not very quick with a joke and I don't like 'banter'. I'm extremely self conscious about my quietness and perceived lack of a sense of humour. It makes socialising very difficult. Intellectually, I know that there are people even more boring than myself who have had and continue to have friendships and romantic relationships. But whenever I am with people, I worry about what the 'formula' is for being likeable and end up just being silent, or tremulously uttering a few pleasantries.

[newbs16]

I sometimes think would I be missed if anything happened to me or would I be thought of in a nice way. I probably would but not by loads of people or because I'm a party animal.

[Martin74]

Most people don't like me. I don't like them either.

[Metal Goat]

I think if I'm sober and meet them in a relaxing environment then maybe 80% of people like me. Once they've met me three or four more times I think this drops to around 40%.

[girlinterrupted]

I think for a stranger meeting me I'm personable and non-offensive enough for them to have an overall positive reaction initially,beyond that I suppose some dislike me,some like me and some I don`t merit a further thought from (and vice versa).

[Fantastical]

I tend to assume people hate me, or if they don't appear to they will soon. Getting better at ignoring those thoughts but stops me making any friends or anything.

[Appear]

^ That's pretty much me too, I think. It takes quite a bit for me feel that someone likes me, and even if they make it quite explicit I'll still tend to question it often. I don't really struggle with day-to-day interaction now, so like to think I'm fairly SA-free, but this is something that seems to be sticking around.

[PurplePetals]

Oh I *KNOW* almost everyone falls into either hating me or not noticing I exist.

[misska]

People don't like me I'm not very good at making good first impressions

[Neotrinity]

I think social context is really important. If I have a chance to really sit & talk to somebody, and there's little or no pressure to be instantly engaging or whatever, then I can relax and gradually 'open up', and in these situations, I've found I can really do well. Which is why I'm still hoping to get one-on-one councelling very soon. But if it's in a group, whether social or even group councelling, and it's more of a 'free for all', I really struggle to find a 'way in'. In these situations I tend to go mute, and sit there feeling boring and self accusatory. Or, as I read somewhere, 'silently cursing the darkness'. I've been reading quite a bit about introversion and have taken a Myers-Briggs test thingy, and feel that I know better about what I need to ASK for in councelling to get that all important emotional fortification that comes from feeling that you've made yourself heard. I just wonder what happened to the classic scenario of being able to lay on a couch while talking during councelling?
I think in our fast paced society, we've gone back to our primal instincs & forgotten how to LISTEN to the actual CONTENT of discussion, with too much emphasis on eye contact & body language.
Oh God, most of this is irrelevent to the thread. Sorry for rambling on!
Er, like some of the posters above, I often feel not like or dislike but indiffence.

[Marco]

I think most people feel indifferent towards me. I can't say I have any real friends any more, but neither do I have enemies or people I don't get on with. In most encounters with people there's a three stage process. Initially (stage one) people tend to be friendly with me, but then they quickly realise that I'm not the person they thought and they kind of back off from me (stage two) because I think they're not quite sure what to make of my awkward behaviour. Then after a while I think there's an acceptance and understanding that I'm just a quiet bloke with not much to say for myself and generally they become more friendly towards me again (stage 3). When I say friendly I mean pleasant, but they're not interested in engaging conversation with me any more - that might only happen if I try to initiate it, which I'm hopeless at.

[Omar Little]

I like that I can work or study alongside someone for two years + and they can still turn to me one day and say “Sorry, what’s your name again?” It gives me the opportunity to ask them what their name is too without it being awkward for me. If they didn’t ask I never would.
My next door neighbour, whose name I don’t remember, always calls me by my first bloody name during those accidental interactions when we're both doing something mundane like taking our bins out at the same time.
I’m sure he knows I don’t know his name so he deliberately overuses mine cos that’s how he gets his sick kicks.
“Hello, Omar. It is today the bins go out, Omar? I’m not wrong, right? Omar?”
“Oh, hello…you. You’re not wrong. Bin night’s tonight. Anyway, goodnight…mate?”
“Goodnight, Omar. Sweet dreams, Omar. Don’t let the bed bugs bite, Omar.”
"Yeah, piss off”
“You say something, Omar?”
“No. I just stepped on a slug. A really annoying little bastard slug. Anyway, night night.”
“Night night, Omar.”

[Appear]

^ And this is why someone needs to set up a Stop Omar Slinking Away from SAUK fund. I would but I keep forgetting your name.

[Omar Little]

^Oh, you.

[laracroft]

I think the people on here apart from a minute minority, come across as intelligent, sensitive and funny. I almost have to remind myself that you (we) are all battling daily with SA and more. You are all lovely.

I realise when i think about this question, that its not a crippling issue for me as it used to be. Im middle aged and i dont care as much about it now. Apathy. Its the future!

[Silent Ninja]

Dislike, I haven't any friends and have never met anyone who wants to be my friend.

[Z.]

I think most people I come across don't really like me, but they don't really dislike me. It's pretty neutral. And for good reason. I don't fit in anywhere - I am withdrawn - so they don't really have a chance to develop a substantive opinion of me.

[firemonkey]

I think most people range from indifference about me to mild distaste. My social awkwardness doesn't go down well although I am not an abusive and nasty person.

[hollowone]

If someone seems less than enthusiatic or indifferent to you, it doesn't mean that they hate you or dislike you. I only skimmed through the replies but, what I'm picking-up on is an element of tending to see the slightest sign of awkwardness on the part of another person as a sign that they don't like you or 'proof' of unlikeability. It's not nice if someone appears awkward towards you, that thought 'have I done something wrong, did they think I'm weird'. If someone appears indifferent, it's probably not as bad as you imagine it. The worst case scenario is, they might be feeling fairly awkward themselves.

[PurplePetals]

Being a trans woman, people generally don't hide their disdain for me, their feelings that I shouldn't exist, or that I should be made to not exist in the most painful way. So no, it's not always 'over-reacting'.

[GoldFish]

Bullying, arrogant, bossy type personalities tend to use me as a target to boost their ego..

So me + condescending egos = not a good match....(they don't like me) and they usually just want to associate with people like themselves..

So at work there are a couple of department managers that will openly call me out as being quiet, even though I don't even work with them...they just want to boost ego in front of other staff etc..

Other than that people don't really mind me because I'm nice etc...

By the way I hate work for these cultural bruerucratic reasons..

[hollowone]

^In that case they're just being *****. Could be an innocent, misguided attempt to try to get you 'out of your shell', I don't know I wasn't there. Anyone with a smidgeon of empathy and thoughtfulnes knows that it's not good practice to single-out quiet people. They might simply be a bit ******** when it comes to basic empathy or they might genuinely be acting like the ***** you describe, I don't know.

[Justafriend]

Neither. I have no friends or social life, so I'm obviously not liked, and I don't make enough of an impression to be disliked. I'm just that person who no one notices.

[purplerose]

I feel as though most people don't like me they just tolerate me.
I'm absolutely useless at making conversation with people so I feel people think I'm incredibly boring and can't wait to get rid of me.
I have a couple of friends but I can go months without speaking to them as I have nothing to say to them so I feel they just put up with me to be polite.

I wish I had the courage to ask people what they really thought about me and how I come across to them just so I know if I come across how I feel I do.

[Nate]

Like most (all?) of you I'm not well liked. Don't know the right way to communicate with people and trying is some convoluted algorithm I was never clued in on.

[Wolfthorn]

I can relate to every single one of you here I used to be upset when I realised somebody didn't like me so I would try to alter my behaviour to try and fit in or try to figure out why thy didn't like me. I would also and still do to a degree start to think we'll if I had this or if I was married or if I did this then maybe or when I get married and have what they have or what I thought they had then just maybe they might change their mind. Well I don't worry too much although because of my present situation it s beginning to start to affect me again I don't have close friends I'm well shy sometimes go red quite a lot I'm good person but I find I can't seem to establish my personality to make people like me I'm sure they do but???it's difficult for me . I am married but my situation is odd at the moment maybe talk about that later I

[clyde33]

I know my parents like me, and my husband (well i'd like to think so) and the few friends i have. I think most other people don't like me though probably because i give off this impression of being unfriendly as i don't say much at all in social situations with people i don't know, and i'm rubbish at meeting new people so i guess folk just don't really bother with me and probably feel i make them uneasy. Also i don't have anything interesting to say when it comes to small-talk. I'm not one to suffer fools gladly, and i can't be bothered with other people's dramas. I can be a bit abrupt with people too, or so i've been told.

[Oddity]

People seem to like me, but that's because I act aloof which makes them think I'm far more interesting than I am, if they knew the truth they'd treat me like crap.

People that do know me are OK with me but know I get arsey because I'm frustrated with my life.

[shadowonthewall]

Originally Posted by GoldFish

Bullying, arrogant, bossy type personalities tend to use me as a target to boost their ego..

So me + condescending egos = not a good match....(they don't like me) and they usually just want to associate with people like themselves..

So at work there are a couple of department managers that will openly call me out as being quiet, even though I don't even work with them...they just want to boost ego in front of other staff etc..

Other than that people don't really mind me because I'm nice etc...

By the way I hate work for these cultural bruerucratic reasons..

I normally have the same experience at jobs. At the job that I'm in currently, people actually rarely make a big deal about me being quiet, even though everyone else are good friends and have each other on Facebook, go out drinking, etc. It's been mostly limited to the occasional comment by one woman, who I don't think means to embarrass me.

In jobs I have had in the past, I've always had to face frequent derogatory comments such as 'you don't say much, do you?'.