Small Steps (Big Post!)

[WalkinTall]

(EDIT: Just read Sleeping Giants latest post on achieving success with SA and this is actually kind of related)



This sounds so obvious, but recently I have began to truly understand that you have to really push yourself in order to start combatting SA. It's one of those things which goes without saying but is something that a lot of us rarely ever do.

I have recently made a detailed list of all the aspects of my life that I feel I need to improve in order to get over my anxiety and start living life as I have always wanted to. I discovered an interesting piece online which says that every problem or goal that you have in life falls into one of three categories; health, wealth, and love. A neglect or problem in any of these areas has an immediate negative knock on effect for the others. Likewise, an improvement in one of these areas has a positive effect for the others. Anxiety has a very negative effect on all of these areas but by making an improvement in one section, you are aleviating problems in another, thus helping to lower your anxiety level overall.

Again, this may seem self explanatory if you think about it but I have often felt so overwhelmed by a myriad of niggling worries in different areas of my life that I have been unable to successfully categorise just exactly where it is that I am going wrong. Instead just choosing to say "It's all bad!" and then giving up.

But its not all bad. Even if you are chronically afflicted by anxiety, there are still positives to be found, however small. You will always be better off in one area than another and this helps you to prioritize your needs for self help.

Procrastination is a major side effect of suffering with anxiety. For me, it has often been debilitating. I have stalled in so many areas of my life because I have tried taking everything on at once and become easily demoralised as a result. Or I have picked the wrong area to start focusing on when others are in more urgent need of "repair". This is the main reason my life has been in pause mode for so long. Now though, I am beginning to prioritize things and I am finding that success in a certain area, however small, will have a knock on effect for the other areas. And I feel like I'm making progress.

Each day, I set a goal for the following day and try and achieve it. Not an insignificant goal, nor a massive one. But one that will help in some way towards bettering my life in the long run. Yesterday for instance, I went to the bank and picked up some information on business loans as my dream is to start my own business. It is also a dream I have procrastinated about for over 2 years now. I am about 0.5% of the way to acheiving this dream but just by going to the bank and putting myself in a situation which was constructive towards my goal really made me feel like it was possible and has had a great motivating effect. When I finally achieve my goal, it will have real significance for my financial life (wealth). This will enable me to live a better lifestyle (health) and this in turn could go some way toward improving my social and family life (love).

I'm not suggesting here that money is a cure for anxiety. Far from it. I am merely using this as an example of moving toward and visualizing your goals. I have set myself much more insignificant goals recently, some as simple as just tidying my room, going shopping and saying "hello" to strangers. And as insignificant as these things may seem, they were still not easy for me but they have helped me to bring a focus to each day and have motivated me. They serve as ways to help get out of the grips of procrastination and to get used to pushing yourself on a regular basis. Procrastination is a killer because it demoralizes you, which depresses you, which kills you as a person inside. Or in some sad cases, it literally just kills you.

This is a new kind of post for me. In the past I have mainly posted on this site just to moan, or to vent my frustrations or to basically feel sorry for myself. It is rare I try to give constructive advice to anyone. This post may seem rambling (apologies if so) and it may just seem like the result of me being on a bit of a high at present (coz I am) but I genuinely believe that I may have found the key to improving my life.

If it all sounds too obvious, it's because it is

[claprun]

Good post. I agree with the points about procrastination, and I procrastinate like crazy (although I am better at it now). This link helped me in that respect (although its aimed more at business people, it's still useful): http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newHTE_96.htm

By the way, I also think goal setting is a really good idea. Sometimes it's hard to be motivated though, but I guess this improves with progress.

[Innervision]

That is an excellent post, WalkinTall.

Yes, it does sound obvious, but this is because the answers to beating SA are just that ... obvious. There are no secret answers, there is no holy grail, there is no miracle pill to swallow. There is simply hard work and a willingness to use rational common sense even when your inner self is trying to irrationalise everything.

I remember not too long ago when my SA and related issues seemed so monumental that I was 100% convinced that nothing short of a magical pill or divine intervention would help me. I was shocked when the obvious finally hit me in the face. How could something so monumental in it's effects on my life be addressed by little more than hard work in the right direction and a leap of faith?

Sometimes we think things are so massive that the answer has to be massive too, but this is not always the case.

You seem to have arrived at the same conclusion as I did a few years back. I can see your life improving steadily for a long time to come. With your new attitude I have no doubt that you will pull away from your SA and make the kind of life you desire.

Anyway. A great post by you. I wish you continued success and future happiness.

[Innervision]

Cheers, jpg.

I really enjoy reading posts where it's pretty clear that someone has cracked it. WalkinTall's post gave me a warm glow inside. It's so easy to assume that the answers are elusive, monumental and unattainable. Maybe this is why we sometimes can't see them even when they are staring us in the face. Maybe we can't believe that what feels like monumental problems to us, don't necessarily need monumental sized answers. Sometimes the smallest realisations can make the greatest impact.

[bluebottle]

Great post, very inspiring.

I try to push myself to do things on a regular basis too, and to be more goal focussed. A clear goal and a positive attitude will already take you a long way I believe.