Job interview help

[Tembo]

I recently applied for a job, and amazingly they are giving me an interview next week. Obviously i'm a bit nervous, but nothing unusual for anyone.

The issue is the references (I always find this bit really awkward). I put down my current boss as the reference, but I really regret that now as I do not want him to find out i'm looking for a new job, especially if I don't get it because then he will know i'm looking elsewhere. I should have put down my line manager, who is less loyal to the place I work, so It doesn't matter if she knows I want to leave, and I would find it much less awkward asking her.

They wont contact the references until after the interview, so should I ask them to change the reference during the interview (a video call) ?. My worry is that it will look unprofessional - that I didn't bother to think it through properly during the application, or that something is off. And if I did ask them, how would I ask them? I've been thinking this through all day.

It is quite frustrating that I am feeling pretty fine for the interview, but have managed to give myself something to worry about because I don't think things through properly!!!

[biscuits]

I think you should just leave it. They might find it a bit fishy that you are changing your reference to an alternative to your current boss. They might wonder why e.g. they might wonder if it’s because he’d give you a bad reference.

I’m sure if you get the job that your boss will be happy to write you a lovely reference .

Just for future, you’re menna ask before you put people down as a reference but bosses will be used to being automatically put down as someone’s referee.

Hope all goes well with the interview! Keep us updated!

[Tembo]

@No Longer Human - thanks for your helpful reply, you've made me feel a bit better about it. You're right, I doubt they will ask the referee unless they actually will offer me the job. Although I don't know if this place will use it to help decide. But perhaps I should worry about it if it comes to it.

@biscuits - thank you biscuits . this is my worry, that it will look fishy. Yes, I'm not very good when it comes to etiquette, I should have asked first. But asking first would have meant he knew I was looking elsewhere so perhaps damaging chances of them helping me progress there. Silly me. My line manager would have been perfect! I think I was just panicking during the application.

I'm not sure why letting an employer know I'm looking at other jobs, and leaving, fills me with absolute dread, and make me feel really terrible. I had this at my last job when I told my manager I was leaving. For some reason I felt like the worst person in the world.

[biscuits]

^ I get that horrible feeling too!

It’s been fine when I was leaving for reasons like going to uni etc. because they’d always known that would be the case. And I did a few temp jobs, so I said when I’d be leaving when I started.

Only once I’ve left a job because I wanted to leave, and it was so scary. It’s so awkward to bring it up in conversation! When you’re leaving for life situation reasons then it’s easy, but when you’re leaving because you don’t want to work there any more it feels more personal? I left my notice on my boss’s desk! I was too scared to say haha. My notice period was a long time too, so it felt awkward to still be working there for ages before leaving!

It does make you feel like you’re letting people down, but actually you’d be letting yourself down to stay somewhere that you don’t want to be. It’s the best for everyone to have people who want to work there working there. Still doesn’t make it any easier haha.

[Tembo]

^ I agree it is awkward to bring up! Especially when they have been good to me here.
At the last place I worked, it felt like I was telling them I was breaking up with them or something, but had to stay in their house for a few weeks afterwards

I'm still not exactly sure what to do about this situation. I will probably avoid asking to change the reference, for the reasons you say, but this could lead to embarrassment. I feel like I've painted myself into a corner a bit, and will probably be worrying about it for days now.

[biscuits]

^ aww. I get exactly like you do. We just don't like upsetting people and to feel like we are letting them down, but our own growth is also important to us.

Ummm. Do you know for sure when they'll contact people for a reference? The process seems to be different for different jobs.

It's a tricky one. If you think they'll contact him before the interview, you could email your boss and say that you have an interview coming up and that you've put him down as a reference. Put in about how you like working there and people are good to you but you're ready for the next challenge and are looking for other jobs.

Another way to look at it is, even if you change the referee to your line manager, they will be obligated to tell your boss that they've been asked to write a reference for a current employee.

If you don't think they'll contact unless your successful then all the worries can blow away.

We are so similar haha I know that I would still worry

[Indigo_]

Originally Posted by biscuits

I think you should just leave it. They might find it a bit fishy that you are changing your reference to an alternative to your current boss. They might wonder why e.g. they might wonder if it’s because he’d give you a bad reference.

I’m sure if you get the job that your boss will be happy to write you a lovely reference .

Just for future, you’re menna ask before you put people down as a reference but bosses will be used to being automatically put down as someone’s referee.

Hope all goes well with the interview! Keep us updated!

I agree with all of this (not that I strongly disagree with NLH )

[hellotiger]

Good luck with your interview Tembo.

I had an awkward time when I left my last job. The place that hired me were eager and offered me the job on the spot. They moved very quickly and as a result they contacted my references before I’d even handed my notice in. I called my boss to hand in my notice on my next shift as I don’t like doing it via email and she told me she already knew (I think I’d put HR as my reference contact and they’d already contacted her). I laughed out of nervousness and we didn’t really speak again. It was awkward but it’s not like she was never going to find out.

[Tembo]

Thank you for your advice on this everyone, it really does mean a lot. It’s the only place I can ask for advice really.

I shall leave it as it is.

[Tembo]

Well, I've just had this interview. I asked my boss about being a reference, and he was more than happy to do so. He was under the impression it was a casual weekend job though, and not that I was thinking of leaving.

Im trying not to think the worst of this, but it started off so badly. I was all ready to go, 15 mins before the interview. I have been preparing for days, and all of this morning, making sure everything was perfect. I actually felt quite calm and prepared too. I presumed they would send an email about 10 mins before giving me the link for the meet. However, I had a look an my junk email and saw an email from 4 days ago, giving me the link as well as additional information to prepare for. So, I clicked on the link, however I had to download Google Meet for it to work. So, I downloaded it, but it was still downloading at the time my interview was starting!! So, a bit of a panic, and I was 2 mins late for the interview. But, worst of all, I already have a google account so just signed in using that - but it has a fake name on it for YouTube. They were confused as obviously this wasn't my name, so I panicked and said it I was using my Dads account. However, while the name is different, the actual email address is my real name. Which shows I was lying, unprofessional, or that my dad has the same name as a 18th Century playwright. What the actual ****! So, that really made me panic. They asked me lots of questions, which I mostly froze over, talking gibberish, and not answering the questions. Numerous times I had to get them to repeat the question, and I interrupted the main interviewer more than once, which she was clearly a bit annoyed about.

Clearly I am someone who overthinks things, and thinks the worst of myself, so perhaps I have done better than I thought. And interviewers do take nerves into account. But I'm so disappointed with how that went. This job would really suit me, as it involves a lot of my interests. Even on questions I had prepared for, I froze or said something I really didn't want to say. It is frustrating because I thought I had done everything I needed to, but probably gave the impression I maybe had a quick prepare about 10 mins before.

I just want to cry now. It's probably a bit too early for a drink....

Sorry for anyone who has just read all that.

[Jen.]

^^ Ouch! That story got worse and worse as it went on

I can imagine the shame and panic it would cause. There's nothing you can do after that besides be glad it's over. These things can feel much worse to ourselves than on the outside, but even if you're not successful then at least now you've gained the knowledge of checking your junk folder in advance and making sure you're logged in with the right account! It could have been worse, at least you didn't have a joke name as embarrassing as this student who forgot to change her Zoom display name for a class after previously having a party with her friends:

[Tembo]

Thank you Nanuq and Jen for your support. Haha Jen, that has made me feel better. At least I didn't have anything as bad as that.

It's rather gutting really. If I had checked my junk email yesterday, and made sure I had Google Meet set up, I would have made sure the name was correct. I would then have been on time for the interview, and I wouldn't have been panicking, and I wouldn't have ended up saying some bizarre lie at the very start!
It's such a simple thing to do. I'm not sure why I didn't make sure everything technical was ready. I was focusing more on preparing for the questions and having the correct documentation ready.

[limey123]

^ It was very unprofessional but also highly insensitive and ignorant for those women to laugh at what you were saying. Plus probably discriminatory too.
Talking about bad interview experiences. I had one (video interview) where the primary interviewer didn't show up and it had to be conducted by someone else. Made me feel really special.
Another video interview I overheard one interviewer mutter "twat!" just as we were disconnecting, so I must have impressed him
Had a phone interview when living in the States; I must have sounded unexcited or downbeat (nerves no doubt) as I heard the interviewer exclaim "asshole" just as he was hanging up on the call.
Had a face-to-face interview once where it seemed to be going well until they asked me a question about dealing with difficult colleagues. So I told them about a difficult colleague at the office when I worked in Sweden. I must have said exactly the wrong things, as their body language and tone and apparent enthusiasm changed at once after that. Needless to say I wasn't asked back.

[biscuits]

Aww I'm sure they know that people would be a bit flustered and nervous, especially on a video interview. I've been on an interview panel a few times and have never thought badly of people asking for questions to be repeated, it's really common because of the high pressure situation that interviews are. Bet you 50p you did better than you thought, Tembo

Did they say when they'll get back to you?

I tend to get "hang on...what if I get the job?" anxiety haha not sure how common that anxiety is!

[biscuits]

@Nanuq - you're lucky not to have got a job in such a horrible sounding place! that's disgusting behaviour!

May the work biscuit tin be empty the next time they go to it.

[Tembo]

@Nanuq That sounds really terrible. Not just incredibly unprofessional, but bullying behaviour. And they are meant to be instilling good values into their pupils! As Diamond says, probably a lucky escape. I wouldn’t want to work alongside people like that.

Thankfully my 3 interviewers remained very professional, and continued asking questions as if I hadn’t froze, and tried to help with my nervousness. I won’t get my hopes up, but I may not have done as bad as I thought. However, I hope you will be ready to send me a 50p biscuits! I only take cheque. . I shall find out on Monday for sure

[biscuits]

^ haha 50ps are the best! I collect the different designs. I miss paying for things with cash and receiving one in my change. Makes my day to get one, it does!

Sending lots of give-Tembo-the-job vibes the panel’s way

[Toxic]

This thread is terrifying and stops me wanting to leave my job however miserable it may make me feel!

I've had 2 job interviews in my life and got both of them but I wouldn't say either were "proper" (the first one I think was more of a placement and I would have got the job if I just turned up!)

I've carved myself into a role at my current place which is nothing like I originally applied for and got my feet well under the table to the point they would find it almost impossible to get rid of me if they wanted to. They have been trying to get me help for 2-3 years but some of the things I do are so niche and only applicable to this exact business. Its not something anyone can just walk into.

The downside to this is if I wanted to get another job..on paper I can't really do anything despite the qualifications and work exp I have

Good luck with it!

[AireleeBray]

I had a bit of a bad interview, I was so scared:
- the manager interviewing me was late
- she got my name wrong
-she asked if there was anything I was concerned about with the job, I said i was worried about getting there right at 8.15 each day (considering traffic, she said she was strictly 8.15) when the earliest I can drop my children off at their club was at 8 - she told me she makes sure she leaves earlier. .. Doesn't matter if I left at 7 I can't drop them off until 8
-she let someone else show me around & to spend some time there
-after seeing how they did things etc another woman came to me & told me the manager had actually left.

I was really really disheartened & offended.

I then got a email the manager sent me saying &'how do you think the interview went'. Wasn't even a offer or a sorry I'm not right for the job. I didn't understand it, but I walked out knowing no way in hell was I working for her.

I learnt that a interview is also for you to see if you like the place & the people & you can ask them any question & see how prepared they are, you do not have to take a job you don't like. You are going there for you too, kinda like looking round a new home (you'll be there alot!)

This way of thinking gave me more confidence, I went for my next interview couple weeks later, manager was lovely the building was nicer, manager didn't ask me any difficult questions got the job on the spot. I feel so lucky, was worth going through the c**p

[Tembo]

^ That interview sounds very weird and disorganised! I’m glad your next interview went well - did you get the job then?

Update to my OP - I did not get the job. I’m actually a bit upset really, especially as I feel I could have got the job if my interview wasn't a disaster. Out of 130 applicants, they chose 25 to interview. At least my CV stood out!

[biscuits]

Aww that’s a shame that you didn’t get the job, Tembo.

Clearly they dunno what they’re missin!

Wow-wee @ 130 applicants! Well done for being selected for an interview! It must have been hard for them to choose someone out of 25 applicants.

Did they give you any feedback? If not, it might be worth emailing or calling for some, it’s always good to know what to work on for next time

Make sure you have a little celebratory cake or something to give yourself a well done for going though with something scary.

[Tembo]

Thanks Nanuq and biscuits

No they haven't given feedback, but have offered to give some if I want it. I'm not sure I can face asking them, and I mostly know what I did wrong. I can remember exactly what I answered to some questions, and on some it was just pure waffle. I remember barely looking at the screen too, simply because I was desperately looking at my notes to try and remind myself what to say.

Strangely, I saw one of my interviewers in town the other day. Thankfully he didn't see me and I turned and walked another way! He seems a nice person, but I was just too embarrassed.