#1
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Do you remember a time when you had the fire to change?
I do.
I remember being able to keep getting back up and going at it. I would get angry, get sad but I always kept trying and felt like If I did I could win. It was like when I used to play video games. I'm an 80/90's gamer and remember all those rock hard video games that people talk about now like they are impossible to crack. I nailed them all on the hardest level. I remember the tension, frustration and anger, even cying when for the 50th time I got right to the end of a really difficult part and fell of a ledge. Or went into battle with a real SOB of a boss for the 50th time with just one more hit on its weak spot and its done, excpet it get's me with the killer blow before I do. No matter how pissed off I was I kept on going until the game was beat black & blue. Now though, I can't even pick up a video game and hav'nt for years. I know I would'nt be able to finish games now without quiting real early as soon as I get frustrated. Ive just lost that never give up attitude and can't fight past even minor frustrations or disapointments wihtout giving in. I've actually been living with all my issues for years now without even attempting to fix them, tbh. |
#2
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Re: Do you remember a time when you had the fire to change?
Yeah I feel like this at the moment. I'd like to get up and get more in my life, but I just cant be bothered. I remember a time when I felt hope and excitement. I dont now.
I guess at some point I made a choice - I can lose the downs on conditions I lose the ups aswell. Now I just float along a flat line, never feeling a thing Oh well Kev |
#3
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Re: Do you remember a time when you had the fire to change?
This will sound bizarre but one of the few things that actually makes me put some effort in, is completing xbox games I've managed to finish just about every one of the 80 odd I've played, not always on the hardest setting but at least I've seen them through to the end. I still love the ability to lose myself completely in a game and forget the real world for hours on end. I started gaming at 12 so that's 27 years gaming now on and off.
Alas away from my games I'm an incredibly lazy sod who cba to do anything much as it's all so dull and pointless |
#6
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Re: Do you remember a time when you had the fire to change?
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#7
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Re: Do you remember a time when you had the fire to change?
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No choccy though. Quote:
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I bought a Nintendo DS about 3 years ago with one of those devices so you can get loads of games for free, but Ive only managed about 4 hours max on it. Quote:
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#8
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Re: Do you remember a time when you had the fire to change?
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#9
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Re: Do you remember a time when you had the fire to change?
Back in the 90's, I was housebound & depressed, I still had a few friends as an anchor to 'reality' (I think that helped) I was so filled with rage about myself and my past, that I got myself to the doctors and into therapy for the first time.
Therapy helped to deal with the panic attacks, but I never managed (bothered?) to overcome the anxieties & avoidance, and as I lost the few friends I had I withdrew even further. Doubt I will get another chance, but even just to have that amount of emotion (the 'fire') again would be a gift. What has been said about games is true, the likes of Mario Super Bros, Dungeon Master, the original Championship Manager & Daggerfall, helped me through some difficult times! But these were crutches, fillers for the 'real' thing. People. |
#10
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Re: Do you remember a time when you had the fire to change?
I had the fire to change about 5 minutes ago. I'm getting ready for bed though, so I now have the fire to sleep.
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#11
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Re: Do you remember a time when you had the fire to change?
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ha ha, like those people in the movies (hillbillies) on the front porch in their rocking chair with a shot gun next to them ha ha No choccy tho |