Uncomfortable psychology truths

[Laurel]

https://twitter.com/thebrometheus/st...194704897?s=46

Very different take. Saying men and women experience depression different. That’s the first I’ve heard that.

[Laurel]

I would quote it but it's 26 quotes of text.

[Laurel]

It’s someone who worked as a psychotherapist for years, and he talks about men feeling powerless, and men and women not understanding each other.

Apparently Elon Musk has allowed users to view Tweets without an account as from yesterday. Might be worth a click.

[Laurel]

I don't know if the tweet thread comes of as sexist, male-centric.
For me- I'm just interested in a different take.

[Laurel]

Most women communicate with men using methods that only work for women. When they don't get the response a woman would give them, they think men are rejecting them. They agonize over what they could have done wrong to be treated this way.

Most men have no idea this is happening.

Adam Lane Smith
@TheBrometheus
·
21h
Most men don't know how female communication works. They provide solutions, which is what THEY would want, when a woman wants VALIDATION.

When this is pointed out, most men assume it's untrue. Because they'd hate to receive only validation instead of a solution.

The female sex drive runs on intimacy. Intimacy depends upon emotional security and attachment strength. Both of these are dependent upon both partners working as a partnership.

Even the slightest issue can derail the female sex drive. It's a great litmus test for a relationship

Most depressed men probably don't need medication. Even then ones who do need it need more than just medication.

Depressed men need purpose, a mission, and the power to accomplish that mission.

Give a man those 3 things and he can crawl over broken glass with a smile.

Women tend to be happiest when they feel USEFUL to the people they love. They also want to feel TRUSTED with inside information about how you’re doing and what your challenges are, again so they can HELP and BE USEFUL.

VULNERABILITY indicates huge trust.

[Aelwyn]

^ Yes I agree, Nanuq, those seem like huge generalisations, and rather dated. The one about women liking to be USEFUL makes me feel ill.

Well, better put my apron on and get hubby's tea ready.

[Dougella]

^ Yes, and oddly I've heard that it's men that like to feel useful!

[Dougella]

Laurel, are any of those quotes from Jordan Peterson?!

[Sudoku]

I think they should swap 'male' and 'female' for 'masculine' and 'feminine', as I've known all of those points apply to both men and women depending on personality type.

"They provide solutions, which is what THEY would want, when a woman wants VALIDATION."

Not true. I can't stand it when I have a problem, tell someone that problem, and all they do is respond with 'awww, poor you, that's so sad'. Sympathy doesn't help me get rid of the problem. I'm definitely a solutions person. I know other women who are the same, and men who just want validation when they have a problem. It's down to personality.

"The female sex drive runs on intimacy. Intimacy depends upon emotional security and attachment strength."

Not entirely. Sex drive doesn't require a partner. I'd be very happy if it worked that way! I think what they are getting to is the ability to feel physically and emotionally attracted enough to a specific person AND safe enough with that person to risk pregnancy/STDs/humiliation/violence by having sex with them. It isn't enough for women to just feel turned on, as there is a lot more risk for us to have sex. I think people just forget there is a bigger gap for women to jump between 'I'm turned on' to 'I'll have sex with you' than there is for a man. If the risk level that comes with having sex is too great, then that jump never happens.

"Depressed men need purpose, a mission, and the power to accomplish that mission. Give a man those 3 things and he can crawl over broken glass with a smile."

That definitely applies to both sexes equally. If I'm working on something that I feel is important to me, then I'll forget to eat, sleep, wash, talk to other humans, etc for days/weeks on end. I'll find a way to get it done, even if it kills me! That's just having drive/focus/resilience.

"VULNERABILITY indicates huge trust."

Again, this applies to both sexes. You generally want to create an emotional bond with someone you are attracted to, and you have to let your guard down in order to do that. I think if there's any difference then it's due to men being told they shouldn't be too emotionally open. Not because they innately lack the ability/want to do so. You'll always get people that lack empathy and just want the equivalent of a sex toy that sleeps with them and shuts up/disappears afterwards. But those people are in the minority.

[Laurel]

No it's not from Jordan Peterson. It's a psychotherapist called ADAM LANE SMITH who got about 3.4m views on his thread. Of course it's going to be slightly angled towards a guy perspective because the psychotherapist IS A GUY. If you got a woman psychotherapist, it's the same leaning. Example that Nicole La Pera that I linked before.
And it does an injustice to the guy's thread if you just gonna view 4 out of 23 quotes that was on it.
But you are welcome to your perspectives.

This is his further Twitter account. https://twitter.com/TheBrometheus

[Dougella]

^ Ah I see. Yeah there's nothing wrong with a male psychologist giving a perspective that's more from the generally male side, it's just that like other posters have said a lot of these things seem to be down to individuals being different rather than specifically men and women being different.

One thing I have heard that can be useful is that when someone that someone is close to is upset or has a problem they should ask if they want solutions, emotional support or just some space to themselves. Then they can offer what the person really needs in that moment rather than just assuming and getting it wrong.

[Sunrise]

I'm very wary of taking any sort of life advice from someone who calls themselves "The Brometheus".

I thought it sounded very Jordan Peterson as well. I don't think it's something I can really identify with and I don't find that way of thinking particularly helpful, I think it can be quite damaging.

[choirgirl]

Agree with Soduku.