will you ever be socially confident?

[incognito]

Hi, from time to time i get the odd picture on facebook of my work colleagues at a party, down the pub, clubbing etc. Which makes me feel awfull, which it shouldn't. I should be just be happy for them.

I think what makes it worse for me is i believe i have hit my limit for sociallising. if i have, is this all im going to beable to achieve??

My rational thoughts say i should not over analyse situations and you can anything if you put your mind to it. I know you have to push yourself each day a little bit more, but when youve hit your limit thats it? ive achieved alot more than some people have ever achieved on and i should be happy with that

How can you go beyond your limits, if you think thats it??

Incog

[jay9]

Originally Posted by incognito

Hi, from time to time i get the odd picture on facebook of my work colleagues at a party, down the pub, clubbing etc. Which makes me feel awfull, which it shouldn't. I should be just be happy for them.

I think what makes it worse for me is i believe i have hit my limit for sociallising. if i have, is this all im going to beable to achieve??

My rational thoughts say i should not over analyse situations and you can anything if you put your mind to it. I know you have to push yourself each day a little bit more, but when youve hit your limit thats it? ive achieved alot more than some people have ever achieved on and i should be happy with that

How can you go beyond your limits, if you think thats it??

Incog

That would make me feel pretty bad too, partly why I'm not on Facebook. But how do you know that there is a 'limit'? And what makes you think that you've hit it? If you've already improved, that's great, but I'm sure you just need to find a different way of improving further in order to achieve more. Good luck with it.

[GoldFish]

i think this is why i'm so against using facebook, its just a bandwagon alot of people have got onto, i use mine to post funny quotes but alot of people who have alot of friends and are always going out tent to bost or brag about it so they have hundreds of photos of them hugging strangers or holding a drink with other sexy people and i look at it and think "yeh yeh you like clubbing and you're happy all the time". its more for the really outgoing types. i have no photos on my facebook because i have no photos of my experiences, i could have taken photos from concerts ive been to or the city but i dont usually take a camera. and i only have about 2 friends on my facebook page so i get people asking me "why do you only have 2 people on your facebook page" ....i'm thinking about deleting the account because its not really suited to me and its only made people suspect me as being solitary or something. i just laugh and tell them i made an account for fun but instead i use my youtube account more, its not a big deal but i think facebook in general is for those super confident people with a ton of freinds.

[Blumoon]

Originally Posted by GoldFish

i think this is why i'm so against using facebook, its just a bandwagon alot of people have got onto, i use mine to post funny quotes but alot of people who have alot of friends and are always going out tent to bost or brag about it so they have hundreds of photos of them hugging strangers or holding a drink with other sexy people and i look at it and think "yeh yeh you like clubbing and you're happy all the time". its more for the really outgoing types. i have no photos on my facebook because i have no photos of my experiences, i could have taken photos from concerts ive been to or the city but i dont usually take a camera. and i only have about 2 friends on my facebook page so i get people asking me "why do you only have 2 people on your facebook page" ....i'm thinking about deleting the account because its not really suited to me and its only made people suspect me as being solitary or something. i just laugh and tell them i made an account for fun but instead i use my youtube account more, its not a big deal but i think facebook in general is for those super confident people with a ton of freinds.

same. should just delete it rly, or deactivate:rolleyes:

[Stevo86]

Meh, places like Facebook are just popularity contests for overconfident attention whores. There's no point to it other than to brag about yourself. Of course this doesn't apply to all people who do use it, just a section of shallow people.

[Andrew]

Seeing people's photos of themselves at parties on FB doesn't usually bother me but it did this weekend, I haven't felt excluded like that in quite some time I also think I've hit a limit of sorts as well, I'm better than I used to be but I'll never be the confident, charismatic, warm type able to just let go and have fun that the girls flock to...

[incognito]

Originally Posted by jay9

That would make me feel pretty bad too, partly why I'm not on Facebook. But how do you know that there is a 'limit'? And what makes you think that you've hit it? If you've already improved, that's great, but I'm sure you just need to find a different way of improving further in order to achieve more. Good luck with it.

What makes me think ive hit it, is that doing my job and trying to be social at the same seems to be too much. it takes all my energy just operate at work lol

[EndlessShadow]

I have a facebook account which I rarely use anymore as I have nothing interesting to put on it really, it is depressing to see what everyone else has been up to as well.

I don't think I will ever be fully confident in social situations as I just don't think its in my nature and i'm too used to being the way I am, i'd hope I could still make some improvements though.

[peterjohn]

It would be ideal to be everything we desire to be. Perhaps the obstacles in our way are impossible to climb if that's what we decide they are. Perhaps the obstacles arn't like impossibly high concrete walls but simply a product of our thinking which we can choose to crumble to dust. Perhaps the protective barriers are destructive rather than constructive, like a self created prison. Having escaped the prison I ain't going back inside but oh what a fool I've been and what a long and wasteful journey except that to of been a successful person might have been built on a terrible arrogance.

[Cookie-Monster]

Originally Posted by incognito

Hi, from time to time i get the odd picture on facebook of my work colleagues at a party, down the pub, clubbing etc. Which makes me feel awfull, which it shouldn't. I should be just be happy for them.

I think what makes it worse for me is i believe i have hit my limit for sociallising. if i have, is this all im going to beable to achieve??

My rational thoughts say i should not over analyse situations and you can anything if you put your mind to it. I know you have to push yourself each day a little bit more, but when youve hit your limit thats it? ive achieved alot more than some people have ever achieved on and i should be happy with that

How can you go beyond your limits, if you think thats it??

Incog

To be honest I avoid my facebook account as much as possible. Seeing other people and their interesting and bustling social lives there just makes me feel awful. But I know what you mean. I don't know about you but I wasn't always socially anxious and during the first 12-13 years of my life I was pretty socially confident. But social anxiety has had a severe impact on my life since then (I'm 24 now). I have doubts now whether I can ever truly go back to being "normal" as I once was. So the same sort of questions have been going through my head you mention.

[Winnie57]

Not everyone is a socially outgoing person and if you feel you've reached your limit try to be happy with that. I know I will never be socially confident and have accepted that that is how I am. Sounds like you have achieved a lot incognito and you shouldn't try to be someone who you are not but that's just my opinion which many will no doubt disagree with.

[incognito]

Originally Posted by Winnie57

Not everyone is a socially outgoing person and if you feel you've reached your limit try to be happy with that. I know I will never be socially confident and have accepted that that is how I am. Sounds like you have achieved a lot incognito and you shouldn't try to be someone who you are not but that's just my opinion which many will no doubt disagree with.

Tis a difficult subject, too sides to this. Either know your limits and accept it or never give up. And keep triying.

Incog

[peterjohn]

I've just got to say that it's possible that every perception that you have evolved upon your journey is just that and not absolutes unless you chose to make them so. Anything and everything is possible if you make it so - nothing can possibly change if you make it so. If you decide you can't then you can't and if you decide you can then that might be so.....or at least you stand a chance. Best wishes.
Peter

[Shy Gem]

Originally Posted by incognito

Hi, from time to time i get the odd picture on facebook of my work colleagues at a party, down the pub, clubbing etc. Which makes me feel awfull, which it shouldn't. I should be just be happy for them.

I think what makes it worse for me is i believe i have hit my limit for sociallising. if i have, is this all im going to beable to achieve??

My rational thoughts say i should not over analyse situations and you can anything if you put your mind to it. I know you have to push yourself each day a little bit more, but when youve hit your limit thats it? ive achieved alot more than some people have ever achieved on and i should be happy with that

How can you go beyond your limits, if you think thats it??

Incog

I'm on facebook a fair bit and when I see my friends photos of them out clubbing and having a good time I often think why can't I be as outgoing as them?

My social life has improved vastly this year compared to last, I even organised our christmas work do for our team of 18 people, I didn't even attend last years one as I was so bad in myself!

I've got to the point where I can just about handle going to pubs, but am still a bit conscious about going clubbing and to parties due to vast amounts of people and bad experiences which have occured. I do hope to overcome this one day and go beyond my limit.

Taking it in small steps is key, maybe going for an hour and building it up from there, as I think if you go full steam ahead and you feel really uncomfortable with it you're more likely to not do it again.

[incognito]

Originally Posted by Shy Gem

I'm on facebook a fair bit and when I see my friends photos of them out clubbing and having a good time I often think why can't I be as outgoing as them?

My social life has improved vastly this year compared to last, I even organised our christmas work do for our team of 18 people, I didn't even attend last years one as I was so bad in myself!

I've got to the point where I can just about handle going to pubs, but am still a bit conscious about going clubbing and to parties due to vast amounts of people and bad experiences which have occured. I do hope to overcome this one day and go beyond my limit.

Taking it in small steps is key, maybe going for an hour and building it up from there, as I think if you go full steam ahead and you feel really uncomfortable with it you're more likely to not do it again.

Well done on the christmas doo, i didnt go to mine. Would have been nice lol if i'm honest im probably putting excuses in my way and not giving myself credit when ive done something.

I do think im letting my other illness get in the way abit, by not accepting it. If i accept more things, and be positive about them. It may help. and not to over analyse everything, just to chill may help.