I fancy a work colleague!!!!!

[incognito]

What should i do?? take a chance or leave it in the realms of fantasy?? To me she is intelligent, good looking, funny and of course single. Any way i could find out if she is remotely interested in me??

incog

[AAAli]

Definitely take the chance with he right mindset. If you don't you will always regret it. if you do and get rejected at least you have always taken the chance. An opportunity avoided out of fear is an opportunity wasted.

The easiest way would to be to start small, start making more eye contact and smiling at her. If you are brave go up and talk to her as much as you can. When you are feeling braver ask if she wants to do something with you. If she says no its no big deal, she will probably just be flattered and your back to where you are right now.

[wd40mk17.4]

does she go to after-work social drinks e.t.c?
always easier to get to know someone that way and maybe have a laugh and a joke.
easier setting for anything to happen, rather than in the workplace.

[NoiseTerrorist]

Hey bro. How long have you known her for? I've you've only known each other a short period of time, maybe consider letting the situation play out for a couple of weeks, see how you're getting on and how you feel then. Otherwise, sure, if you've got the courage, why not.


But wait! Don't go running off yet!


The catchily named wd40mk3 above me makes a very good point. You might want to consider waiting for a work social to come around, and see how you get on with her outside of a work scenario. In an informal setting, it'll give a much clearer of how compatible you are. I used to have a really good article on body signals and such and which signals to look out for that may indicate attraction (not sure if it's 100% true, but a decent read nontheless). Unfortunatly I can't remember where it is (why did I not bookmark it?). If I find it I'll send you a link.

You also might want to give a little thought to whether dating and working with the same person could be a little overbearing, especially if you're working in close proximity.

Other than that, all the best and good luck.

[xNelliex]

The five secret sexual signals that someone is flirting with you

The flirting triangle. When we look at people we're not familiar with (in a business situation for instance), our eyes make a zig-zag motion: we look from eye to eye and across the bridge of the nose.

With friends, the look drops below eye level and moves into a triangle shape: we look from eye to eye but also look down to include the nose and mouth.

Once we start flirting, the triangle gets even bigger - it widens at the bottom to include their good bits (like the body). The more intense the flirting, the more intensely we'll look from eye to eye - and the more time we'll spend looking at their mouth.

If someone is watching your mouth while you're talking to them, it can be very, very seductive. It could be that they're imagining what it would be like to kiss you.

Mirroring. This is what separates a good flirt from a great flirt: nothing will bond you more effectively than mirroring someone's behaviour. This simply means you do whatever it is they do. If they lean forward to tell you something intimate, you lean in to meet them. If they sit back to take a sip of their drink and look you in the eye, you pause then follow suit.

The theory behind mirroring is that we like people who are like us. If someone is doing what we're doing, we feel they're on the same level as us and in the same mood as we are.

There are two no-go areas with this one, though: firstly, only mirror positive body language; second, capture the spirit rather than mimicking them. As a general rule, wait around 50 seconds before following their gestures.

The eyebrow flash. When we first see someone we're attracted to, our eyebrows rise and fall. If they are similarly attracted, they raise their eyebrows in return. Never noticed? It's not surprising since the whole thing lasts only about a fifth of a second!

We're not consciously aware of doing it, but it's a gesture that is duplicated by every culture on Earth. In fact, some experts claim it's the most instantly recognised non-verbal sign of greeting used by humans.

The trick is to watch for it when you meet someone you fancy. Better still, tell them you're interested on a subconscious level by prolonging your eyebrow flash for up to one second - deliberately raise them while catching their eye for full impact.

Pointing. Sneak a peek at what their feet and hands are doing - we tend to point toward the person we're interested in. If we find someone attractive, we'll often point at them subconsciously with our hands arms, feet, legs, toes.

Again, it's an unconscious indicator to make our intentions known. Unconsciously, this is often picked up by the other person, without them really knowing why.

So if you've got your eye on someone in the corner, point your body in their direction - even if you don't make eye contact, they may take the hint.

Blinking. If someone likes what they see, their pupil size increases and so does their blink rate. If you want to up the odds in your favour, try increasing the blink rate of the person you're talking to, by blinking more yourself. If the person likes you, they'll unconsciously try to match your blink rate to keep in sync with you, which in turn, makes you both feel more attracted to each other!


for me i would -

see if u can find out what she likes so that u can start convos with her, even if its girly

give eye contact and smile

make contact with her if its possible, just a touch on the arm etc

hope that helps x

[SwayedHead]

Originally Posted by incognito

What should i do?? take a chance or leave it in the realms of fantasy?? To me she is intelligent, good looking, funny and of course single. Any way i could find out if she is remotely interested in me??

incog

The only way you can find out is by asking her out and seeing what she says.

(I suppose you could kidnap her and administer some form of truth serum, but I think that just asking her out is a lot less threatening, and has the added advantage of not incurring a prison sentence. )