SAUK Discussion Board

Go Back   SAUK Discussion Board > Social Anxiety Discussions > The Social Anxiety Room
Join! Blogs FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Notices

Reply  Post New Thread
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 18th January 2020, 12:24
charlie188 charlie188 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 201

Mood
Musical

Default Work "away day"

I have an away day at work coming up this week and I'm already starting to feel anxious about it! That will no doubt continue for the rest of the week and get worse as the day gets closer.

Typically I don't so social events at work. I'm kind of known for it which I'm fine with I just think if I'm gonna be anxious and uncomfortable why do it? But this I can't really get out of!

At best I'll have to speak in front of everyone - at worst - God knows! I have no idea what's expected of me and what I'll be forced to do in front of my workmates but no doubt I'll be a bag of nerves and it will be awful.

It would be easy to phone in sick BUT we had a team building afternoon last summer which I phoned in sick for and I've been told not attending will be "frowned upon".

Maybe the whole company are against me and this is their way of getting me to leave. Or maybe God just hates introverts?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 18th January 2020, 14:46
lone*star lone*star is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Norwich
Posts: 775

Mood
Mellow

Default Re: Work "away day"

Quote:
Originally Posted by charlie188
Or maybe God just hates introverts?
I don't think God hates introverts. Perhaps more important is whether you hate introverts?

Talking about God though, it might actually help you to put things into perspective and see the bigger picture, rather than get too bogged down in the little details.

For example, imagine the whole 'away day' as being a movie that God has decided to watch that day. As merely one of the characters in the movie, clearly, you have no personal control whatsoever over either the overall plot-line, the various scripts involved, or what exactly happens over the course of the day. So therefore why bother even trying to control anything about it? Just realise that the entire event and its content are beyond your control. But also know, at the same time, that God is sitting there watching the movie (with you in it) the whole time.

And of course, any good movie contains a range of characters that make up the whole thing - the goodies, the baddies and the inbetweeners. And here's the thing: Every character is loved and enjoyed, regardless of which part they're playing. We might think that we hate a particular character in a certain movie, but people wouldn't bother going to watch it unless that character was involved - every part is essential to the success of the movie as a whole. And that includes you! And rest assured that God will enjoy your little role in the production, regardless of how you yourself might be thinking about it. What ever happens, or doesn't happen, you simply can't go wrong.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 19th January 2020, 17:03
Aelwyn Aelwyn is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Swindon
Posts: 1,297
Default Re: Work "away day"

I bet you're not the only one in your workplace who is dreading the away day. I know someone who has not got SA but had to leave this type of event halfway through. I wonder if they actually work for anybody? Or is it just another stupid management dogma?

Personally I wouldn't be able to do that without medication. Have you been to your GP about your anxiety?
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 19th January 2020, 21:43
biscuits biscuits is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: in the tin.
Posts: 18,808
Default Re: Work "away day"

Aw nooo.


Hope it goes okay. Hopefully it won't be as bad as you think! And there's always people at these things who are willing to take charge and present things!


Bet 98% people going will also be experiencing cba feelings about it all - not necessarily due to SA.



Do you get lunch included? That's always something to look forward to hehe
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 19th January 2020, 22:11
charlie188 charlie188 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 201

Mood
Musical

Default Re: Work "away day"

Quote:
Originally Posted by lone*star
I don't think God hates introverts. Perhaps more important is whether you hate introverts?

Talking about God though, it might actually help you to put things into perspective and see the bigger picture, rather than get too bogged down in the little details.

For example, imagine the whole 'away day' as being a movie that God has decided to watch that day. As merely one of the characters in the movie, clearly, you have no personal control whatsoever over either the overall plot-line, the various scripts involved, or what exactly happens over the course of the day. So therefore why bother even trying to control anything about it? Just realise that the entire event and its content are beyond your control. But also know, at the same time, that God is sitting there watching the movie (with you in it) the whole time.

And of course, any good movie contains a range of characters that make up the whole thing - the goodies, the baddies and the inbetweeners. And here's the thing: Every character is loved and enjoyed, regardless of which part they're playing. We might think that we hate a particular character in a certain movie, but people wouldn't bother going to watch it unless that character was involved - every part is essential to the success of the movie as a whole. And that includes you! And rest assured that God will enjoy your little role in the production, regardless of how you yourself might be thinking about it. What ever happens, or doesn't happen, you simply can't go wrong.
I actually really like the sound of doing this! Imagining you're in a film! I might try that

I think one of the reasons I'm dreading it is because my anxiety and nerves have a tendency to show! I don't hide it very well and I get shaky and look nervous/anxious which I hate.

The last away day I did, I had to talk in front of everyone and I was really nervous and I remember one of my colleagues just staring at me afterwards with this judgemental look, and then she look away and kind of rolled her eyes. It's that kind of judgement that I hate. I just know there is going to be some sort of similar incident.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 19th January 2020, 22:15
charlie188 charlie188 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 201

Mood
Musical

Default Re: Work "away day"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aelwyn
I bet you're not the only one in your workplace who is dreading the away day. I know someone who has not got SA but had to leave this type of event halfway through. I wonder if they actually work for anybody? Or is it just another stupid management dogma?

Personally I wouldn't be able to do that without medication. Have you been to your GP about your anxiety?
Yeah I think quite a few of them are probably dreading it and don't want to go. But I'd be very surprised if any of them will be feeling as anxious as me.

I actually don't take any kind of medication. I was prescribed something about six months ago but never picked up the prescription because I had a really bad experience once with anti depressants where they made me feel extremely anxious for the first 3/4 days and I was sitting at my desk at work physically shaking. Absolutely awful experience that I don't want to repeat.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 19th January 2020, 22:20
charlie188 charlie188 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 201

Mood
Musical

Default Re: Work "away day"

Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuits
Aw nooo.


Hope it goes okay. Hopefully it won't be as bad as you think! And there's always people at these things who are willing to take charge and present things!


Bet 98% people going will also be experiencing cba feelings about it all - not necessarily due to SA.



Do you get lunch included? That's always something to look forward to hehe
Thanks! I wish I could just sort of take a pill and black out the whole day so I'm there but I don't actually remember it afterwards. Or just fast forward time to the end of the day. As I said in a previous post if I was able to hide my nerves/anxieties it probably wouldn't be so bad.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 19th January 2020, 23:38
limey123 limey123 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 1,198
Default Re: Work "away day"

Quote:
Originally Posted by charlie188
Thanks! I wish I could just sort of take a pill and black out the whole day so I'm there but I don't actually remember it afterwards.
Lorazepam plus alcohol will do that for you (experienced it myself once). But I seriously don't recommend it, it's just too risky, especially when you can't remember what you did before you passed out.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 20th January 2020, 10:57
Aelwyn Aelwyn is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Swindon
Posts: 1,297
Default Re: Work "away day"

I don't take antidepressants, I take slow release propranolol. It stops the shakiness, and is not addictive.

I hope all goes well and it's not as bad as you expect. If you like Lone Star's idea about the whole thing being like a film, perhaps that's the way to approach it.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 21st January 2020, 22:35
Jimmy77 Jimmy77 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 361
Default Re: Work "away day"

Ugh, these kinds of posts send a shiver through me. They also make me angry. Introverts are literally tortured by this kind of sh*t. I dream of the day when robots and AI wipe out the hideous ****ing nightmare of the office. I hate everything about them, from the suits and ties you have to wear to the stupid team building exercises. Roll on a universal basic income and freedom!!
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 21st January 2020, 23:45
charlie188 charlie188 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 201

Mood
Musical

Default Re: Work "away day"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aelwyn
I don't take antidepressants, I take slow release propranolol. It stops the shakiness, and is not addictive.

I hope all goes well and it's not as bad as you expect. If you like Lone Star's idea about the whole thing being like a film, perhaps that's the way to approach it.
Thank you - I'll have to look into this. I've only ever been prescribed anti-depressants for my anxiety.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 21st January 2020, 23:51
charlie188 charlie188 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 201

Mood
Musical

Default Re: Work "away day"

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimmy77
Ugh, these kinds of posts send a shiver through me. They also make me angry. Introverts are literally tortured by this kind of sh*t. I dream of the day when robots and AI wipe out the hideous ****ing nightmare of the office. I hate everything about them, from the suits and ties you have to wear to the stupid team building exercises. Roll on a universal basic income and freedom!!
It's pretty ironic because my workplace promote mental health awareness and we have dedicated people we can speak to. And then they arrange these away days which have basically caused me to feel anxious since the weekend and that will only get worse over the next few days.

I was talking to a colleague today who admits she is also "dreading it", but I don't get the sense she'll be feeling the same anxieties as me. But it's good to know other people also have negative feelings towards it.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 22nd January 2020, 21:45
Whitevanman Whitevanman is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 24

Mood
Insomnious

Default Re: Work "away day"

Quote:
Originally Posted by lone*star
I don't think God hates introverts. Perhaps more important is whether you hate introverts?

Talking about God though, it might actually help you to put things into perspective and see the bigger picture, rather than get too bogged down in the little details.

For example, imagine the whole 'away day' as being a movie that God has decided to watch that day. As merely one of the characters in the movie, clearly, you have no personal control whatsoever over either the overall plot-line, the various scripts involved, or what exactly happens over the course of the day. So therefore why bother even trying to control anything about it? Just realise that the entire event and its content are beyond your control. But also know, at the same time, that God is sitting there watching the movie (with you in it) the whole time.

And of course, any good movie contains a range of characters that make up the whole thing - the goodies, the baddies and the inbetweeners. And here's the thing: Every character is loved and enjoyed, regardless of which part they're playing. We might think that we hate a particular character in a certain movie, but people wouldn't bother going to watch it unless that character was involved - every part is essential to the success of the movie as a whole. And that includes you! And rest assured that God will enjoy your little role in the production, regardless of how you yourself might be thinking about it. What ever happens, or doesn't happen, you simply can't go wrong.
Good advice, take life a bit less seriously.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 22nd January 2020, 23:22
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 1,173
Default Re: Work "away day"

Quote:
Originally Posted by lone*star
I don't think God hates introverts. Perhaps more important is whether you hate introverts?

Talking about God though, it might actually help you to put things into perspective and see the bigger picture, rather than get too bogged down in the little details.

For example, imagine the whole 'away day' as being a movie that God has decided to watch that day. As merely one of the characters in the movie, clearly, you have no personal control whatsoever over either the overall plot-line, the various scripts involved, or what exactly happens over the course of the day. So therefore why bother even trying to control anything about it? Just realise that the entire event and its content are beyond your control. But also know, at the same time, that God is sitting there watching the movie (with you in it) the whole time.

And of course, any good movie contains a range of characters that make up the whole thing - the goodies, the baddies and the inbetweeners. And here's the thing: Every character is loved and enjoyed, regardless of which part they're playing. We might think that we hate a particular character in a certain movie, but people wouldn't bother going to watch it unless that character was involved - every part is essential to the success of the movie as a whole. And that includes you! And rest assured that God will enjoy your little role in the production, regardless of how you yourself might be thinking about it. What ever happens, or doesn't happen, you simply can't go wrong.
Good post
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 24th January 2020, 18:00
charlie188 charlie188 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 201

Mood
Musical

Default Re: Work "away day"

So the away day was yesterday and I did not have to do anything embarrassing. Phew! No public speaking. No roleplay. I still just felt really anxious and uncomfortable though pretty much the whole day.

The worst part was having drinks afterwards and standing around and having to be sociable which just makes me feel so nervous and uncomfortable. And then having people notice and give you weird looks. Pretty standard SA stuff I guess but it's still horrible and now I'm left thinking about it all and feeling like shit. I guess it's all still very fresh in the mind at the moment and I'll probably be able to forget about it in a few days time.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 24th January 2020, 20:28
limey123 limey123 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 1,198
Default Re: Work "away day"

^ Sorry you had to go through that charlie. Glad it's over for you now, hopefully you can soon forget about it or at least come to terms with it.

Reminds me of Philip Larkin's poem, "Whatever Happened?", which is about mentally processing difficult experiences:

At once whatever happened starts receding.
Panting, and back on board, we line the rail
With trousers ripped, light wallets, and lips bleeding.

Yes, gone, thank God! Remembering each detail
We toss for half the night, but find next day
All's kodak-distant. Easily, then (though pale),

'Perspective brings significance,' we say,
Unhooding our photometers, and, snap!
What can't be printed can be thrown away.

Later, it's just a latitude: the map
Points out how unavoidable it was:
'Such coastal bedding always means mishap.'

Curses? The dark? Struggling? Where's the source
Of these yarns now (except in nightmares, of course)?
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 25th January 2020, 19:55
charlie188 charlie188 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 201

Mood
Musical

Default Re: Work "away day"

Quote:
Originally Posted by limey123
^ Sorry you had to go through that charlie. Glad it's over for you now, hopefully you can soon forget about it or at least come to terms with it.

Reminds me of Philip Larkin's poem, "Whatever Happened?", which is about mentally processing difficult experiences:

At once whatever happened starts receding.
Panting, and back on board, we line the rail
With trousers ripped, light wallets, and lips bleeding.

Yes, gone, thank God! Remembering each detail
We toss for half the night, but find next day
All's kodak-distant. Easily, then (though pale),

'Perspective brings significance,' we say,
Unhooding our photometers, and, snap!
What can't be printed can be thrown away.

Later, it's just a latitude: the map
Points out how unavoidable it was:
'Such coastal bedding always means mishap.'

Curses? The dark? Struggling? Where's the source
Of these yarns now (except in nightmares, of course)?
Thank you, limey and I like that poem.

It seems to have stirred a few feelings in me though that perhaps my work colleagues don't like me that much. Or perhaps that's just the SA talking. I don't know. I'm probably not the easiest person to talk to or get on with due to my shyness but I don't think I come across as a particularly unpleasant person. I don't know - maybe I just don't come across the way I think I do.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 30th January 2020, 10:29
Formershyguy Formershyguy is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 93
Default Re: Work "away day"

Hi Charlie did you go to this away day? and how was it? Luckily we don't have this at my job but I do grimace a little when we all have to go out for Fire Drill! Before when my team was bigger I had people to talk to but my team has got smaller and everyone else are in teams of 20! I hardly ever talk to my boss other then work related stuff and saying "morning" and "bye" lol!"

So when we have to go outside on those rare occasions I have no one to talk to! :-(

I don't think people don't like you! They don't know you! It would be unfair for people to just make a snap judgement without getting to know you. But the problem is people who are shy and have social anxiety can be hard to communicate with and not everyone wants to put the effort in.

Out of interest who told you it would be "frowned on" if you didn't attend? That seems really insensitive! Surely you can be excused from this! I mean as long as you do the job to the best of your abilities, what does it matter if you go or not?
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 22:02.


SAUK Award
Logo designed by abc
Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.