SAUK Discussion Board

Go Back   SAUK Discussion Board > Social Anxiety Discussions > Other Mental Health Issues
Join! Blogs FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Notices

Reply  Post New Thread
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 20th May 2019, 10:16
Melangell Melangell is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 5,282
Default any one know anything about OCD?

Hi,

I think my son is suffering with OCD traits, he's 11

the things he's had for a long while are a general need for order, his room is immaculate, and intrusive thoughts

I hear him talk to himself a lot when he thinks he's alone

Lately he has become overly worried about burning his hands. He hasn't actually burned his hands, but keeps thinking he has whenever he touches anything hot..at a sleepover on Friday his friend's mum had to put cream on his hands after he thought he'd burned his hands touching a light accidently, then he thought he'd burned them on his phone and then on a plug.

we lost our dog in February and have no other pets, I have kept her ashes and he has started to come downstairs every night to say good night to her. I think her dying has affected him quite deeply.

He has just done his sats and is going to high school in September. I am really worried about him. He is very extrovert and hates being alone, so his anxiety is completely different to mine, which is just social anxiety, but underneath his big personality has a lot of anxiety. He seems unhappy and his anxiety and obsessive behaviour seem to be escalating.

Does anyone know anything about OCD? What are good ways to combat this kind of thing?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 21st May 2019, 20:26
biscuits biscuits is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: in the tin.
Posts: 17,959
Default Re: any one know anything about OCD?

Is his behaviour like this all of the time, or is it a recent thing?

When I'm stressed/worried/have too much going on that I can't cope with then I notice OCD behaviours creeping in. Like I'll have to keep checking things over and over because I don't trust that I've checked them. And I'll get weird about washing my hands. Also I have intrusive thoughts about if I don't do x then something bad will happen, usually something specific.

But when I'm chilled and calm then I don't act or think like that at all. When it happens then I know something's wrong.

It can make you fixate on things and it's really annoying! It doesn't happen very often to me any more though.

It could be that your son has a lot of things going on in his life right now. Lots of things to cope with and all things that you perhaps wouldn't naturally be able to cope with because they are all new experiences for him - bereavement, school pressure, puberty, transition from primary to secondary school.

The way to manage/live with it is to understand what is happening inside of you, so it doesn't feel like you're just weird. Also learning how to deal with stressful situations, and change, so you can cope with them a bit better is helpful. Finding positive coping strategies, so it's not all just building up inside of you and then manifesting itself in OCD behaviours.

The worst thing to do is to tell someone to just stop doing it, because OCD behaviours are a coping strategy (even thought it's a negative coping strategy) and when you take away negative coping strategies then you'll find other negative coping strategies. You have to try and find positive ones e.g. recognising what your intrusive thoughts are and labelling them as that - talking to someone about it or saying to yourself, "Oh... I have that thought... I'm going to remove myself from this stressor and go for a fast paced walked instead of doing the behaviour that I feel a compulsion to do."

Getting them to think rationally about their intrusive thoughts by questioning them is helpful too, rather than saying reassuring things. It helps to then build that ability to question it yourself.

Might be worth chatting to you GP as they might suggest some CBT to help him to develop coping strategies for this. Hope your son is doing okay - being a child can be more stressful that people remember.

sorry if this is long and wafflesome!

[please don't quote this, feeling a bit self-conscious about sharing this!!]
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 21st May 2019, 21:52
Deer Deer is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: County Durham
Posts: 599

Mood
Goofy

Default Re: any one know anything about OCD?

I have a book on OCD, and intrusive thoughts Melangell. I can either send it to you or once I find it in one of the boxes, I will let you know the author's name.
I went through a phase of terrible intrusive thinking all through out my childhood. One would persist for months and months, and then another one would replace that one. It is like being tormented.

I haven't got no advice but it is great that he has told you about it. That book I have on OCD was revelation regarding intrusive thoughts. I thought I was going batshit crazy in my teen years. If only I had that book at hand then.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 21st May 2019, 21:56
Deer Deer is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: County Durham
Posts: 599

Mood
Goofy

Default Re: any one know anything about OCD?

^^ Ah, good post, Biscuits. Yep, talking or challenging the intrusive thoughts I think is important. My intrusive thoughts were so bad I wouldn't have ever spoke about most of them but if I had known early on that it was part of a condition, I would have at least understood that I wasn't a freak, or had no need to feel ashamed.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 22nd May 2019, 03:32
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 12,929
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: any one know anything about OCD?

I'm no expert but I would imagine it's a way to cope with this.

I would have thought losing your dog hasn't helped, he would've grown up with him/her and must be difficult as they are no longer around.

Also, he is probably worrying about his sats, which is understandable and In a few months time he will be a secondary school which must be hard for him especially if you are quite introverted. Life is changing around him and maybe doing these ocd things provide some comfort and means he worries less (our brains work in strange ways).

Biscuits and deer have given great advice, hopefully in time when life is less worrying your sons ocd will improve, maybe you could pop to your gp, alone and explain the things your son is doing, they may give you some tips on how to help without making your son concerned about things because. he is already sounds concerned.

I do hope your son starts to feel better soon, it can't be easy for you but you're doing all you can to help make things better for him.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 22nd May 2019, 12:28
Melangell Melangell is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 5,282
Default Re: any one know anything about OCD?

Thank you so much for the replies.

He has been like this for a long time. His mind seems to just buzz a lot. He isnít at all like me, like his brother is, heís extremely extroverted and sociable and also very, very emotional and sensitive. He reminds me more of my sister who was very outgoing, bossy and organised, but as she grew up she developed eating disorders and at University she suffered from psychosis. It seems like anxiety is the root of it, but because his personality is so different to mine I donít relate to it so easily.

The intrusive thoughts have been going on for about 2 years that I know of. He has had periods when they are bothering him daily, then he seems ok for a while. I never had anything like that, so itís hard to imagine how it feels or how much control someone might have over it. At the moment I treat it like this...

I am always available, sometimes he might wake me up at 2 in the morning. I say thatís no problem
I never tell him not to do something, so if he is saying Ďnightí to our passed away dog every night, I just give him a cuddle and say she misses him too.
I encourage me to tell me stuff that is bothering him, though at the moment I have been at a bit of a loss about knowing how to react to the intrusive thoughts, not really understanding them

I donít want him to feel like thereís something wrong with him, I worry that will cause more anxiety??

Now his SATs have finished, I want him to play out/ride his bike as much as possible, do you think exercise helps?

Also, he has asked for a puppy and while we werenít sure about getting another dog, I think it might help him, especially going to high school, because a dog is a calm and consistent companion. Do you think thatís a good idea?
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 22nd May 2019, 12:33
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 12,929
Blog Entries: 1
Default Re: any one know anything about OCD?

^ I think a puppy sounds a great idea, it may be a good desecration in many ways, it will give him something different to focus on and may help with the loss of your dog.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 22nd May 2019, 12:33
Melangell Melangell is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 5,282
Default Re: any one know anything about OCD?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deer
^^ Ah, good post, Biscuits. Yep, talking or challenging the intrusive thoughts I think is important. My intrusive thoughts were so bad I wouldn't have ever spoke about most of them but if I had known early on that it was part of a condition, I would have at least understood that I wasn't a freak, or had no need to feel ashamed.
Thanks Deer, if you find the book Iíd be grateful for the info. Itís interesting you mention shame as I think he feels ashamed of them, thatís why he only tells me.
Also I know some of the thoughts have been quite horrible for him, almost like his brain thinks of what would be a really horrible thing to happen and then cruelly makes him think about it over and over again
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 22nd May 2019, 12:35
Melangell Melangell is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 5,282
Default Re: any one know anything about OCD?

Quote:
Originally Posted by newbs16
^ I think a puppy sounds a great idea, it may be a good desecration in many ways, it will give him something different to focus on and may help with the loss of your dog.
Thanks Newbs
A bit of support is so welcome! I am worrying about all this a lot, and a new dog seems like such a big decision, I am not confident enough to make that choice, so feedback really helps x
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 22nd May 2019, 22:11
Deer Deer is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: County Durham
Posts: 599

Mood
Goofy

Default Re: any one know anything about OCD?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Melangell
Thanks Deer, if you find the book Iíd be grateful for the info. Itís interesting you mention shame as I think he feels ashamed of them, thatís why he only tells me.
Also I know some of the thoughts have been quite horrible for him, almost like his brain thinks of what would be a really horrible thing to happen and then cruelly makes him think about it over and over again
That's exactly what it feels like so seems like you have a decent understanding of what he must be feeling.
It is like the mind tries to think up the most dreadful things and then pokes you with it, and you can't ever get through a day without it popping up. And every time you realise you've not been bothered by it, you become bothered again by it. Its very odd!

The book is called 'The man who couldn't stop'- by david adam.

Just let me know if you would like me to send it to yoy because I doubt I'll read it again.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 22nd May 2019, 22:44
biscuits biscuits is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: in the tin.
Posts: 17,959
Default Re: any one know anything about OCD?

You're such a good mum, Mel, seriously. I mean that. I've never felt able to open up to my parents about things (not dissing my parents because they're awesome.).

It sounds like you're saying and doing all of the loving and right things. It might be worth talking to the school or googling to find if there are any young people's mental health services where you live, there's usually some kinds of self-referral place. He might just need a bit of support with this, so that he can learn how to recognise his triggers and to manage the thoughts/behaviours.

It's hard to explain intrusive thoughts. It's like... worrying obsessively about silly things (well they don't feel silly, but if you were to talk to someone about it they'd think they're silly things) and it makes me feel like I can't really talk to other people about it because they don't understand that you know it's silly, but you can't help worrying about it and the worry doesn't go. Other times it's feeling really guilty over 'silly things'. Sometimes it's thinking that you have to do something because if you don't then something will happen - even though you know that it's scientifically impossible for that to be true. It's just a bad feeling that you get.

It could be that he needs to work through all of these things that are happening to him now. And it might be like how it is with me, comes back to visit when everything gets a bit too much... but it's really important to have the skills to be able to recognise the behaviours, thoughts and learn how to manage it, so it doesn't take over.

Yep, exercise is definitely good. It's a good stress reliever. Keeping your stress levels down is good. Having a pet is also good for MH because of the loving bond that you have.

Sorry to waffle on about me, was just trying to help with explaining what intrusive thoughts feel like.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 22nd May 2019, 23:05
Utopia Utopia is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 777
Default Re: any one know anything about OCD?

Well, I had OCD around that age which I grew out of, but it became more of a pure anxiety disorder and I later had to go on SSRI(which also help OCD) anyway due to suicidal depression around the age of 17/18.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 23rd May 2019, 01:24
Consolida Consolida is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 3,036
Default Re: any one know anything about OCD?

There's some great advice here and I can't add anything more than everyone has already said, but I would agree that I think getting a Puppy would be great for your son - and for you too

11 is a difficult time. Hormones are already starting to go a little haywire as the teenage years are just around the corner and leaving Primary School to start at Secondary is quite a scary milestone in any child's life. Hopefully once your lad has settled at his new school and made a few new friends you will notice that some of his anxiety symptoms gradually begin to lessen.

I do think a new dog to focus on will be a wonderful and positive distraction in all of your lives and, as you say, although massive changes will be occurring in your sons life (prepare yourself for teenage hood!!) a beloved pet will provide a constant and reliable companionship. There may be stressful days ahead but just knowing that there is a dog with a waggly tail waiting at home for lots of love and cuddles will make even the worst day feel better
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 23rd May 2019, 16:50
Melangell Melangell is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 5,282
Default Re: any one know anything about OCD?

Thank you for the help, everyone
It is so appreciated! xx
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 05:01.


SAUK Award
Logo designed by abc
Powered by vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.