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  #21271  
Old 2nd September 2020, 16:51
quietguy quietguy is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

I've honestly pretty much isolated myself living in my own little bubble completely oblivious/ignorant to all those normal things and the happiness they bring until the last few years. And then I do finally step outside of that bubble and take the blinkers off just to get a small glimpses of what it feels like to be genuinely happy to genially connect on a very meaningful level with another human being (after all this is all that really matters in life and I have gotten to experience it all too infrequently, rarely and for only small periods of time), only for it to all to quickly be taken away and then I'm back to where I was with seemingly no hope and isolated in a bottomless pit of bleak proportions, but now also heartbroken to boot when will i get my turn to be genuinely happy...
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  #21272  
Old 2nd September 2020, 16:56
quietguy quietguy is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

I know, and need to keep reminding myself, that I've come along way and improved a lot already but god why does it feel like it has to get worse before it ever gets better
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  #21273  
Old 2nd September 2020, 19:34
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^^ Now heartbroken, has something happened with you dating wise?

It can be really overwhelming to think about changing everything or making big leaps of progress so sometimes it's better to focus on just some small steps that you can take.
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  #21274  
Old 2nd September 2020, 19:55
Professor Willow Professor Willow is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Really annoyed with myself for constantly procrastinating about everything, I've wasted several days procrastinating about applying for a job and now I have finally plucked up the courage to submit an application it's too late
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  #21275  
Old 2nd September 2020, 20:20
quietguy quietguy is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dougella
^^ Now heartbroken, has something happened with you dating wise?

It can be really overwhelming to think about changing everything or making big leaps of progress so sometimes it's better to focus on just some small steps that you can take.
No new developments dating wise I just still can't get over the same one that broke up with me about 6 weeks ago, some days are better than others but some days are really bad (when I think of her or something reminds me of her and then its still struggling to handle the fact that I may never get to talk to her or see her again). I've tried to start talking to some new people but I just haven't found that same spark with anyone else that I had with her.

And thanks that's good advise about the small steps I just get frustrated sometimes that it can seem to take a while before I see any real impacting changes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Willow
Really annoyed with myself for constantly procrastinating about everything, I've wasted several days procrastinating about applying for a job and now I have finally plucked up the courage to submit an application it's too late
And I'm exactly the same
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  #21276  
Old 2nd September 2020, 20:26
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^ It will probably take a while to meet someone again that you have a spark with, but it will happen! (Speaking from experience here, although not online dating wise.)
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  #21277  
Old 2nd September 2020, 20:31
quietguy quietguy is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^ When you say 'a while' from your experience how often do you meet someone that you have that amazing almost instant spark/connection with? Hopefully it won't be too long before I meet someone like that again...

Edit: and I do try to keep telling myself that I should be happy that I ever met her and got to spend any time with her at all as she is such an amazing person, it's just a shame that it was cut short, and I guess I also need to try and be more like her in that she has overcome a lot of mental health issues and is a really fun positive amazing person that people are drawn to, I need to try and be more like her and less negative...

But god I'm blubbering about her again now, I'm a mess
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  #21278  
Old 2nd September 2020, 20:42
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^ Well I'm a bit of a hermit, so probably not the best person to ask! But I've still managed to have two relationships.

Yes there are usually things you can learn from knowing someone, even if the relationship with them didn't progress or didn't last.
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  #21279  
Old 2nd September 2020, 20:47
quietguy quietguy is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^ Haha yea I can be a bit of a hermit too so guess I need to start trying to change that more if I want to increase my chances of ever meeting someone again.
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  #21280  
Old 2nd September 2020, 20:53
quietguy quietguy is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Been listening to a lot of Keaton Henson as well which doesn't help with the getting upset, but god he is amazing! If you've never listened to his music I would really urge you to, he's a very fragile and broken guy with extreme anxiety but his music is amazing!
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  #21281  
Old 2nd September 2020, 21:40
Mr. Nobody Mr. Nobody is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

unclear,...

I suppose clarity could solve many problems, .

But, for now,.. I am still unclear,
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  #21282  
Old 2nd September 2020, 23:58
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^ I hope things become clearer for you in time Mr Nobody

@ quiet guy - I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way, but it sounds like you've put the girl you met up on a pedestal. It's great that you felt a connection with her but if she didn't feel the same strength of feeling then I would say she certainly wasn't the right person for you and wouldn't have made you happy. In time you will meet someone who will feel the same way for you as you do for them and you won't even think about the girl who broke your heart. Things will improve for you, quiet guy

I like listening to Keaton Henson too. It's weirdly comforting to hear him singing so hauntingly about the same kinds of heartaches and disappointments that we've suffered. And of course it helps that the music is great
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  #21283  
Old 3rd September 2020, 10:29
Mellie Mellie is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

embarrassed, my next door neighbour said he has a job for me and I said I would love to work for him in the future but I have mental health issues, and he just said oh right and went awkward, went back in my house quickly after that. idiot I am, I think my other neigbour heard conversaton too, it's not that private in my garden!! he changed the conversation , saying how crap weather is.
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  #21284  
Old 3rd September 2020, 10:47
twosocks twosocks is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

I can't get everything i wanted done today so i'm picking the most important things and the rest can wait. Trying to feel ok with that and mostly succeeding. Just that bleh kind of day.
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  #21285  
Old 3rd September 2020, 18:24
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Angry

Recently my mum has been saying I don't look well. I think I look well, am actually healthier than before imo, feel less allergies and stuff since eating low-carb. She has also been saying how I don't look happy. To be fair I think I have depression.

However, her saying this makes me angry. It reminds me of when I was a child. She use to make comments of how other peers laughed at me on the bus. Guilt me for not having many friends. Just when I am beginning to feel a bit more comfortable in my skin again she comes up with this. It pisses me off.

I feel irl, I have been a people pleaser subconsciously and not had much good come out of it. I think my mum played a part in it, making me feel guilty if I was angry. Not allowing me and my sister to have sibling conflict or cutting it off rather than resolving the conflict.

And then at the moment I feel she was so wrong for cutting me off from family. She had her reasons, although I think they were wrong. I think she has her own problems and I shouldn't put them as my own problems.

I feel a bit calmer after writing this. I think what made me angry is that I was questioning whether or not I feel alright because of my mum's questions.
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  #21286  
Old 3rd September 2020, 19:05
LittleMissMouse LittleMissMouse is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

All over the shop, but mostly terrified. I resigned on Tuesday, I have been thinking about resigning for a while, but would have ideally got a job to go to first, but I had a blazing row with my boss, which culminated in a very dramatic "well stick your job then". And now I am 3 months of being unemployed and moving back to the island is fairly logistically challenging at the moment.

I don't even know what I want to do, I've seen a job advertised that I could definitely do, but it is in Boston and I don't really want to move to the US. I'm also thinking of going freelance but am terrified that I'd just end up sat twiddling my thumbs and getting no work. It's all pretty stressful at the moment.

I also can't really deal with the idea of telling the harbinger of doom that are my family about this. I will just end up listening to "ooooh, you won't be able to get a job you won't" for the foreseeable future.
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  #21287  
Old 4th September 2020, 01:42
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^ If you have been very unhappy in your job for some time then well done on finally calling it a day. It sounds like your boss deserved to be put in his/her place and, as an SA sufferer, it must have taken a heck of a lot of guts to speak your mind like that.

Moving to Boston in the US to work sounds pretty cool to me, but what do I know
Why not give the freelancing a go if it's means that you can stay where you are and it's also something that you've already thought about doing? Maybe it won't work out, but maybe it will. Why not give it a go and see what happens? If it doesn't work out then there's still the option of going back to the US, although perhaps something else will have cropped up in the meantime.

As for your family, if they don't have a crystal ball then they have absolutely no idea whether you will be able to get another job or not!

Clearly, the job that you had wasn't a healthy environment for you to be in so maybe by making the brave decision to hand in your resignation it means that you can at last start a healthier and happier new chapter in your life

Good luck LittleMissMouse


@ imperfect perfectionist - I would hope that your mum isn't deliberately trying to undermine your confidence (if she is, then I am guessing it's due to her having her own mental health issues) but is rather demonstrating, in a very clumsy kind of way, that she worries about you and feels concern. I know in the past that I've thoughtlessly made some throw away comment to my teen about being too skinny and needing to eat more (eg. the meal I've cooked) and then kicked myself afterwards for saying it. Most mother's mean well but so often end up getting things totally wrong. I do know how incredibly annoying it is when mum's continue to treat their offspring like a kid and think that they know what's best when they barely know anything about the adult that their child has become.

If you can, try to filter out the negative things that your mum says and select the bits that are okay. When people undermine others it nearly always comes from a place of fear and insecurity and actually isn't really about the other person (you) at all.



I'm feeling quite down..

Firstly, my nice elderly neighbours who are moving have sold their house a lot quicker than I thought and are moving to an idyllic place in rural Norfolk. To say that I am totally envious is an understatement. The new neighbours apparently have 3 kids so I'm already envisioning the extra noise, balls being kicked over the fence and what not. I want to be here even less now.
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  #21288  
Old 4th September 2020, 08:37
Deer Deer is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleMissMouse
All over the shop, but mostly terrified. I resigned on Tuesday, I have been thinking about resigning for a while, but would have ideally got a job to go to first, but I had a blazing row with my boss, which culminated in a very dramatic "well stick your job then". And now I am 3 months of being unemployed and moving back to the island is fairly logistically challenging at the moment.

I don't even know what I want to do, I've seen a job advertised that I could definitely do, but it is in Boston and I don't really want to move to the US. I'm also thinking of going freelance but am terrified that I'd just end up sat twiddling my thumbs and getting no work. It's all pretty stressful at the moment.

I also can't really deal with the idea of telling the harbinger of doom that are my family about this. I will just end up listening to "ooooh, you won't be able to get a job you won't" for the foreseeable future.

Good on you. I do like a rebel 😝
It's because we have so many people who feel proud saying 'I pay my taxes' as if that's a rite of passage in order to be a decent human that we end up with crap work places. They'd rather say they pay taxes than see significant changes to the workplace.

Good luck, and I hope you find a healthier option when you next work
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  #21289  
Old 4th September 2020, 09:08
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Consolida
I'm feeling quite down..

Firstly, my nice elderly neighbours who are moving have sold their house a lot quicker than I thought and are moving to an idyllic place in rural Norfolk. To say that I am totally envious is an understatement. The new neighbours apparently have 3 kids so I'm already envisioning the extra noise, balls being kicked over the fence and what not. I want to be here even less now.

Secondly, I plucked up the courage to ask the half sister that my birth mother kept if she had got round to finding any more photos of her mum as it would mean such a lot to me. She had promised last week after all. She ignored the question. In fact she ignored my other questions also. When I told her that I didn't live too far from her she did ask me whereabouts and said she knew of the place but I haven't heard from her since although she's been online a lot. I think some of my birth mothers offspring must have inherited her 'get lost, I want nothing to do with you genes'.

Oh well.
That must suck. Although I began speaking to a few 1st cousins since last year I find it questionable why my aunt had never messaged me accept to show off her 60 year old party where it seemed lots of people from her neighbourhood celebrated with her. And her son, who is exactly a year older than me, doesn’t seem as friendly as my other 1st cousins. He has a family though, a wife and kid. But I don’t envy him and don’t really want to be like him, he is more macho than me. Seems like someone people would find cool. But I wouldn’t want what he has unless I was being true to myself.
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  #21290  
Old 4th September 2020, 09:12
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Deer
Good on you. I do like a rebel ������
It's because we have so many people who feel proud saying 'I pay my taxes' as if that's a rite of passage in order to be a decent human that we end up with crap work places. They'd rather say they pay taxes than see significant changes to the workplace.

Good luck, and I hope you find a healthier option when you next work
Our society is broken in that regards it’s like work is more important than mental health. I saw a video on this topic.

I actually think it’s better to burn bridges sometimes if you feel like you ate walking on eggshells yet popular advice seems to be never burn bridges. I feel that could allow for the boss to treat their employees like shit.
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  #21291  
Old 4th September 2020, 15:48
Mellie Mellie is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

feeling stressed, getting a new cpn - I was just getting on well with my cpn, she seems very caring and understanding about my mental health - I just hope the new one is the same, and they want to help sort my life out. It takes me ages to get comfortable with new people.
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  #21292  
Old 4th September 2020, 16:00
blancmange blancmange is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

I know that all too well skittles, I've just started feeling comfortable with my therapist and now she's leaving, so I'll take another year to be able to speak to a new one most likely.
I'm sure the new one will be just as nice
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  #21293  
Old 4th September 2020, 16:30
Mellie Mellie is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

yes she said she's gentle, just worried about her judging me as have had cpn's judge me in the past (attention seeking) (faking my mental health ect) hope you get a nice therapist x
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  #21294  
Old 4th September 2020, 16:32
blancmange blancmange is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

That's terrible you've had to experience that sort of negativity from people who are supposed to be helping you, sorry. When will you meet the new one?
Thank you x
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  #21295  
Old 4th September 2020, 16:53
Mellie Mellie is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

not sure yet, she didn't say.
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  #21296  
Old 4th September 2020, 23:16
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Dejected and rejected
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  #21297  
Old 4th September 2020, 23:23
Dougella Dougella is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^
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  #21298  
Old 5th September 2020, 10:44
Mellie Mellie is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

feeling like a nuisance.
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  #21299  
Old 5th September 2020, 22:50
Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Bloated

Had a Chinese take away cheat day and this is the most bloated I have felt since going low carb. I still feel bloated after 5 hours.
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  #21300  
Old 5th September 2020, 23:32
hollowone hollowone is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Yo, Hi everyone. Returning member here.

Haven't checked or been active since about 2018.

Although I consider myself to have fully overcome social anxiety I'm going through a shitty time at the moment with social isolation (no-one to meet-up with, no-where to go when I don't want to stay in). Lots of things were developing since I last was active that were cancelled this year, including Morris dancing, folk sessions, cycling club, meetup events, searching for work, having interviews, job clubs, getting a semblance of routine. All GONE! Replaced with FORCED ISOLATION.

Only met-up with people 5 TIMES since March. It's like bloody ground hog day. That's my update.
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