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  #21271  
Old 20th August 2019, 18:46
Utopia Utopia is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Indigo_
^ My boyfriend has spoken to the woman that lives there. She was very nice and told us to come up if there were any more problems. Nothing has changed. I think it's her partner making all of the noise. He starts hoovering at 11.00pm and is still hoovering on and off until 1.00am. After finishing at 1.00am the other morning, one of them was hoovering at 6.00am. I think they have mental health issues.
Yeah I use to hate that, I had a woman follow me from room to room, and you can hear right through so I would have them snoring upstairs while I'm trying to sleep. The flat I'm in now is much better, I just hated the lack of privacy.
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  #21272  
Old 20th August 2019, 18:55
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

I can’t say I’ve experienced doctors that “care” but tbh I’m intelligent enough to understand where they are often coming from ...

One doctor asked me about my sex life and seemed super friendly...

But when I consulted a doctor in a different surgery about mh issues he was completely lacking in listening skills or compassion

I haven’t found other doctors can be bothered to listen either.. not that I would trust them anyway.
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  #21273  
Old 20th August 2019, 22:12
Galatea Galatea is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^ my experience with counselling was similar: in the end I had to attend fortnightly rather than weekly as I found it too tough.
But the strategies and suggestions I was given were helpful in the end and I can still call on those if I need to.
Best wishes
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  #21274  
Old 20th August 2019, 22:20
Utopia Utopia is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

I think I took a while to recover and I'm feeling alright -- quite confident but a bit ditzy.
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  #21275  
Old 21st August 2019, 02:18
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Utopia
I've just had my first rTMS treatment for depression and I'm feeling a bit odd.

Before stimulating the area of the brain involved with depressive thoughts, they need to see how sensitive the machine should be by stimulating the brain area that controls your arm, so can see the power that causes a twitching at a certain power and they use the lowest power that causes the twitch. Well it turned out that my 'motor threshold' was unusually low -- the lowest out of 13 other patients. I think I must have a very overactive nervous system -- which probably explains my anxiety disorder. The woman thought I was faking it or something but the machine was causing my whole arm and leg to jump up at a surprisingly low power from her perspective, but I knew I was a bit jumpy and jittery. Anyway, I'm hoping this just means it will work better with me.

The treatment is quite safe and accepted by nice for depression, but I worry he has put the power up too high given the low stimulation needed for the twitching. I am not feeling better yet but I need to have another 19 days worth of treatment -- I am slightly worried it will fry my brain or something. I feel slightly calmer and more confident, but I still worry that he's put the power higher than he should have and he's fried my brain or something.
That's fascinating to hear about because until you mentioned this, it's something that I hadn't even heard of.

I'm glad to hear that it's very safe because the bit about stimulating part of the brain with power made me think of Electric convulsive therapy that used to be used on very depressed patients in the past

I guess it's far too early to know if it's going to be helpful to you but I hope that once you've had a few more sessions you might start to feel some benefit

Please keep us updated about this
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  #21276  
Old 21st August 2019, 11:13
Utopia Utopia is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Yeah, its nothing like ECT, it's only been in use since the 90s and there is evidence that it helps with depression on average. It causes less side effects than medication, but you need to keep your head still for 40 mins. The study is comparing it to a quicker treatment where they stimulate areas of the brain specific to the individuals fMRI scan. I think the idea is to one day target abnormalities specific to the patient. Tbh I'm sick of the way I feel and I've had a strong response from other treatments in the past so I'm more than willing to give it a try.

So far no improvement, but I do feel very subtly different. I think it might help with SA because I had a boost of confidence and was able to talk openly about it, and then later on I felt a slight increase of dopamine or something and could suddenly feel a wider range of emotions again for a moment. It was quite subtle, but that was only the first treatment, I go back each day for the next 4 weeks, so fingers crossed it helps me in some way.
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  #21277  
Old 21st August 2019, 11:23
Jen. Jen. is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Consolida
I'm glad to hear that it's very safe because the bit about stimulating part of the brain with power made me think of Electric convulsive therapy that used to be used on very depressed patients in the past
ECT is still used and is quite safe now, though there are side effects and the benefits are apparently only temporary.
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  #21278  
Old 21st August 2019, 11:30
Utopia Utopia is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^ Thats what I was told, it's still used and is very effective for depression but it causes bad memory problems and headaches. The rTMS treatment was quite mild but maybe if I kept doing it it would keep it going.
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  #21279  
Old 21st August 2019, 14:22
Utopia Utopia is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

I just had my second rTMS treatment and on the way back I was definitely feeling more perked up and confident, although now I'm back to my normal self. I think this is actually going to help me as the effect builds over time and this is only the second(of 20) treatment sessions. Seriously, if you have depression and SA, I think this could be a good treatment.
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  #21280  
Old 21st August 2019, 14:47
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^^ Me too Skittles

^ This sounds like a very promising type of therapy, Utopia.

I imagine it's not something that is offered on the NHS or available everywhere though?

I've been suffering with Depression for years (in some ways it's worse than the SA because it takes away all of my motivation to do anything and things that I once enjoyed I can no longer be bothered doing). If there was something that could lift the Depression just a little (anti d's barely work) then it would be like a miracle.

Good luck with this Utopia
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  #21281  
Old 21st August 2019, 15:00
Jen. Jen. is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Utopia
I just had my second rTMS treatment and on the way back I was definitely feeling more perked up and confident, although now I'm back to my normal self. I think this is actually going to help me as the effect builds over time and this is only the second(of 20) treatment sessions. Seriously, if you have depression and SA, I think this could be a good treatment.
This is great news. How long is it supposed to last after the 20 sessions are over?

What do you do while keeping your head still for so long?
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  #21282  
Old 21st August 2019, 16:22
Utopia Utopia is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^ Well they let you listen to music if you have some earphones. I just chatted with the guy controlling the machine. Most people don't have a very strong effect, but it turns out my motor threshold is very low. I think I have an unusually sensitive nervous system -- which I already knew from my life long anxiety. Most people have the machine much higher which can cause side effects like headache and will make a louder noise. It's quite cool to feel it working actually. It's a bit like a drug taking effect but it's a machine.

The maximum effect is after 20 sessions, the machine I used has a headrest and was really comfortable. It's not too bad if you can talk to the person giving the treatment, but obviously this is dependent on how comfortable you feel with the person. The first time I was much more quiet and just kind of relaxed my mind, which they want. If you listen to music, apparently it can't be too high tempo or emotional, so it's best to just relax for a bit without falling asleep (if you can do this). The second time went a lot quicker because I was able to talk with the guy, but this is obviously dependent on the person and how comfortable you feel -- but I felt that it was helping me be a bit more open without feeling bad about myself. I'm actually getting a bit nervous about being too open once it has it's full effect -- but I thought that this is a great sign as my feelings of awkwardness after being open about myself is more an SA symptom that it really does seem to be treating in me. I also just didn't worry about things so much and went with the flow more. I think it's very likely I will get a lot better by the end of the treatment.

I don't know how long it will last but I suspect I would need to have another course of treatment beyond that. I had the second treatment at 12:30 this afternoon and I'm still feeling less terrible now, I just feel like my mood is just alright rather than miserable as it normally is, which is so satisfying and makes me feel hopeful there is something that can actually help me feel normal again. If it actually works I think I might actually cry. I've been robbed of feeling normal for so long, I can't explain how relieved I would be.
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  #21283  
Old 21st August 2019, 17:07
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^ Who has made you Skittles?
Can you trust your kind GP that you were talking about?
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  #21284  
Old 21st August 2019, 17:12
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^^ Oh dear Skittles
I imagine they have your own interests at heart but I can understand why you would be feeling upset if they didn't talk to you about it beforehand.
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  #21285  
Old 21st August 2019, 18:07
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^ I should think your GP's opinion is more significant than what your family think on this occasion. If you aren't currently a danger to yourself or to others then how would sectioning be of benefit to you? I think the counselling sounds like a good idea Skittles
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  #21286  
Old 21st August 2019, 18:23
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^ Is your boyfriend physically abusive then? I certainly hope not and I hope you are safe.
Take good care of yourself and make sure you keep to the promise you made to your GP
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  #21287  
Old 21st August 2019, 18:28
Utopia Utopia is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Aw, that's always a pain, I have a brother like this -- some people think its the dark ages of psychiatry. Just listen to the GP then, I've found that people generally don't get mental health at all -- there is a still a long way to go when it comes to changing the culture surrounding mental health attitudes. "Be the change you wan't to see in the world", as Gandhi has been credited with saying.

I think the law has improved and it's much harder to institutionalise people nowadays. Really the focus should be on helping people. I am already noticing a change in my mood -- it's like the black cloud that has coloured all my experience of life has been lifted slightly. I just think people don't understand, they are just doing what they think is the acceptable thing for someone not behaving in a normal way. Try not to be aggressive towards anyone and certainly stay away from anyone that makes you want to harm them or yourself.
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  #21288  
Old 21st August 2019, 18:36
Utopia Utopia is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^ It's just ignorance. Crazy is a derogatory term for all kinds of stupid things that have nothing to even do with mental health as far as I can tell.

Maybe see if the doctor would prescribe a low dose of mirtazepine or quitiapine (both of these I've tried for depression and they knocked me out within an hour).

Does the diazepam put you to sleep? It's really addictive stuff and GP's are not meant to prescribe it.
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  #21289  
Old 21st August 2019, 18:57
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

I also think that crazy is just a derogatory term which means nothing.

Imo, while Benzos can be and often are addictive, the alternatives like quetiapine which are sometimes prescribed for sleep/anxiety/depression also have significant potential.. issues..associated with them if taken long term. If you have a doctor who gives a crap they will weigh up the “risk/benefit” issues associated with all these meds. Good luck
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  #21290  
Old 21st August 2019, 19:40
Utopia Utopia is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Yeah quitiapine just flatlined my emotions even more, but would be good if you lose touch with reality at times (as you said you have done before due to fluoxetine).

I would listen to the doctors above everyone elses opinion, and a psychiatrists above any GP -- they seem to be quite accurate.
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  #21291  
Old 21st August 2019, 19:53
Rocket Spud Rocket Spud is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Wound up and tired.... too tired to care. Mum invited family here for dinner and it was a headache the whole way through. I give them too much credit thinking we may have a decent time together - the kids won't play up, we won't bitch about Dad, we'll converse like regular adults, etc. So many things wind me up with them all. I wish i had more control of my circumstances, i certainly wouldn't want to do this again anymore than once a month! Probably at a restaurant - everyone behaves a little better in public. Who boils water on a hob???! Ughhhhh, just heat the kettle up you dippet woman, don't get smart with me when i'm offering to show you the better method to cook some poxy rice!
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  #21292  
Old 21st August 2019, 22:46
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Why are mornings so horrible? I feel so rubbish in the mornings. As soon as I wake up I feel like I can't wait for it to be time to go to bed again so I can cry. But then I can sort my mood out in the day and I feel okay when evening arrives. Then in the morning I feel like that again. I should probably learn how to be normal and feel sad when I feel sad instead of trying schedule it for 12 hours later.
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  #21293  
Old 21st August 2019, 23:00
Schmosby Schmosby is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

I'm feeling pretty good as usual.
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  #21294  
Old 22nd August 2019, 20:48
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

I've been feeling so low today :/

This is a bit morbid, but I went to visit my Nan's grave today and felt bad because it was in a bit of a state, so gave it a wash and made it look nice again. The person next to her is in an unmarked grave. And this evening... as I lay on my bed, with my cat... accidentally watching Murder, She Wrote... I turned the telly off and thought, "That's probably what will happen to me."

dunno whether to laugh or cry at that! Not that it will matter or that I will care when I'm dead. But I think now that my confidence in talking to people is a bit better, I need to work on getting a social life. And I need to sort out where I live. I'm just not sure how and it doesn't help that anxieties and insecurities keep getting in the way.

/feelings dump.
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  #21295  
Old 22nd August 2019, 21:30
Deer Deer is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^ we can't know until we actually experience where we feel uncomfortable, Biscuits. But it seems I'm gradually (as well as reluctantly but determined) moving closer towards my fear. I feel I'm dipping my feet in anyway. It isn't easy like.
Just got to try not to be too hard on ourselves when we find ourselves unable to deal with a situation as well as we think we should. It will be awkward and clumsy at first but hopefully over time we can get better at it.
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  #21296  
Old 22nd August 2019, 22:28
Utopia Utopia is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

I'm kind of alright, this treatment is helping to bring back emotions I've not felt in a long time. I think it will help me, but it won't solve all the problems I face. It's really tough to know how to best tackle the attitudes in society.

Obviously this doesn't change external reality, but I've noticed it's helping me with my assumptions of peoples intentions and I feel more in tune with the positive things in my environment also. You can't know what someone else is thinking and most people are thinking nothing about you whatsoever probably, but I guess the mind can't help but make some kind of assumption up. For me this would normally be negative, but lately I've noticed it's been more positive -- hard to explain -- it helps in this really odd kind of way.
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  #21297  
Old 22nd August 2019, 22:37
Jen. Jen. is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Feeling excited right now... my sister coming to stay this weekend, we've got lots planned and the weather is supposed to be good. We haven't seen each other for a while.
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  #21298  
Old 22nd August 2019, 22:59
Bluebear Bluebear is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Utopia
I'm kind of alright, this treatment is helping to bring back emotions I've not felt in a long time. I think it will help me, but it won't solve all the problems I face. It's really tough to know how to best tackle the attitudes in society.

Obviously this doesn't change external reality, but I've noticed it's helping me with my assumptions of peoples intentions and I feel more in tune with the positive things in my environment also. You can't know what someone else is thinking and most people are thinking nothing about you whatsoever probably, but I guess the mind can't help but make some kind of assumption up. For me this would normally be negative, but lately I've noticed it's been more positive -- hard to explain -- it helps in this really odd kind of way.
This sounds very positive. Thanks for the articulate posts.
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  #21299  
Old 23rd August 2019, 01:14
Purplesnarf Purplesnarf is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

^^^^^^ hope you feel better soon biscuits
I think quite a few of us on here can relate to feeling like that at times x
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  #21300  
Old 23rd August 2019, 03:03
Consolida Consolida is offline
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Default Re: How is everyone feeling? (31)

@ Biscuits I'm sorry you've been feeling so low

It's lovely that you stopped by at your nan's grave and gave it a tidy and clean up. Even though your nan is no longer here, she's not forgotten and continues to live on in your heart and the memories of the happy moments that you shared. You are such a lovely lady Biscuits that there is absolutely no way that you will pass through this life without having touched the hearts of an awful lot of folk who will remember you warmly, so please try not to think morbid thoughts about something that is a million years away!

You are right to focus on the here and now and to use your growing social skills to continue to reach out to folk who would be extremely lucky indeed to have a kind, funny, beautiful 'Biscuits' in their life


@ Utopia - It's fascinating hearing about your experiences with your treatment. Although you have only just completed your second session I believe, it's amazing to hear how you are feeling subtle positive changes. Obviously, there's no instant magic cure but if something can somehow help you to see through the dark cloud of Depression then that's pretty darn awesome


@ Jen.m - Enjoy a lovely sunshiney weekend with your sister
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