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#1
29th December 2006, 20:34
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Going to the pub
Over the past few months I have not been out socially apart from SA social meets, these meets are really good for me at the moment and I am thankful that they exist.
Getting back on my feet I see that there should be no reason to feel socially anxious as I get, going in to local pubs by my self etc, but the fact is I do!!! I use safety behaviours like smoking, playing on the fruit machine and also bring a news paper with me. On many occasions I feel too anxious to look around and feel compelled to use the safety behaviours as a distraction to try not to look and feel too awkward. This is a barrier that I want to overcome so any advice, or you can relate please don't hesitate in contributing to this thread. Cheers AL |
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#2
30th December 2006, 22:09
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Re: Going to the pub
This may be bollox and I may be SA deluded but I think feeling anxious about going into a pub on your own is a perfectly normal reaction.
Unless you are meeting people you know, you are in the company of strangers. Some social animals will have no problem with this but most people tend to go in twos for company. You're on your own and have your paper for company. Nothing wrong in that and try and be comfortable with that rather than fighting against it. After a few times of going in, the odd smile and acnowledgment to the bar staff, and people will probably begin to let on to you. There will be times you will be glad for your own company. |
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#3
30th December 2006, 22:29
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Re: Going to the pub
I wish i had the courage to go into a pub on my own. I have walked in to meet people and i get panicky enough about that but walking in knowing that I will be sat on my own just scares me to death. I always say to myself what is the worst that can happen, who cares that i'm on my own but i still can't do it. I guess i just need to build up a little more courage before i can attempt it.
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#4
30th December 2006, 23:26
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Re: Going to the pub
Jesus H! You go to the pub on your own?! That's my ultimate goal!
It's great that you can endure sitting in a pub on your own as difficult as it is for you. So my advice to you would be to contradict your negative thoughts (those that make you anxious) with more logical ones (if you can't think of any just try thinking the exact opposite of the ones that make you anxious). Best of luck. |
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#5
31st December 2006, 15:56
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Re: Going to the pub
Quote:
Hear hear......I always have this crazy idea that they think I'm underage, or else tyrin to act like a 'proper man'. lol |
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#6
31st December 2006, 17:09
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Re: Going to the pub
Quote:
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#7
1st January 2007, 10:15
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Re: Going to the pub
I agree with the other poster most people including none SAErs are a little nervous on their own because MOST people in a pub are EITHER with people they know or are skilled at quickly striking up a conversation with strangers.
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#8
1st January 2007, 13:32
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Re: Going to the pub
You need to give yourself a lot of credit for being able to go to the pub by yourself. I doubt many people here would be able to do that. What your feeling is classic SA - the viscious cycle effect. You feel anxious that people are looking at you, judging you etc. which makes you more anxious, which reinforces the belief that people are judging and looking at you even more. In order to break this cycle you need to genuinely believe that people are not looking at you or judging you and that there is no real reason for them to do this. Have you tried CBT? I found these thechniques extremely helpful in dealing with some of my fears.
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