New year - New thoughts

[Freespirit]

ok, i decided to change this post. What i first wrote was alot about my depression etc and i was kind of just wallowing and dwelling on everything i wish i had in my life and no really focusing on the positives. I do have positives in my life i just tend not to appreciate them becuase i spend too much time wishing i could have things i haven't got - like spoilt brat.

anyways - I just want to wish everyone a happy new year and i deeply hope it brings us all the happiness we are looking for.

All the best - Darren

[JohnSpark]

Keep thinking positive, its probably the most powerful weapon that we have against all these dreaded thoughts. I know its not easy, not by a long shot. But I firmly believe that if we keep thinking the right thoughts they will become stronger and stronger in our minds.

[wobbly]

Cheers to ya Darren. Way to go mate and I hope 2007 brings you everything you deserve.

[ivorthegalliant]

im not a stranger to these parts....but ur post touched me....hey chin up....when you find that special person...it may last 5 minutes or ten years....all this worrying about when and how u meet them is just gonna wear ur duracells down...(glad i smelt that right} ur all of a tither chill out ok.....what is will be....imagine urself missing the last bus and it crashed....imagine urself getting the last bus and falling manically mutually in love with the conductor....lifes like that m8.....god u lot.....relax have a cadburys caremel....the more life stresses u out you tend to lose....i just came out of a ten stretch with my missus....am i bothered....only would i be if it was her feelings at steak....coz i do love her but hey....free will and all.....god bless m8....dont get your sen into such a state.free the mind and the soul will follow ok...x

[Freespirit]

Originally Posted by MasterCaster

Your really in no state to come to any conclusions about anything, like many people here, dreams are ok to have, but your dreams arn't really dreams at all, your simply miserable, and nothing you mentioned above about what you want will help you with your problem. You need to actively start some kind of CBT therapy, whether it be with a group, with a counsellor, or by yourself. Groups are most effective. I really have little sympathy for people who wallow in their own self pity and then post about it. I'll post constructive, helpful, encourging advice to someone who is trying and failing and trying and finding overcomming their disorder hard, but it really means very little to anyone to post a self obsessed, depressing rant because the only people who will converge on your thoughts are people who are as similarily miserable and depressed as you are. And that dosen't help you one bit. Listen to what I have to tell you because I'm right.

yep you are right..so i deleted the post.

[Stervek]

Hi Darren

I think many people here will relate to what you are saying, especially at this time of year, New Year and (supposedly) a 'new start' - but where to go? I agree with you, it is one thing talking about changing your life, but another thing doing it. I've spent the last 5 years being aware of my SA problems, and have tried at various points to change myself and my life, joining clubs, making friends etc, people have come and gone. But alas, here I am, my location has changed, my clothes have changed, but I am still me, scared to speak to my neighbours and dreading going back to work after christmas. And sometimes I feel I really have moved nowhere. If I cant bear to leave my house when a neighbour is outside, how can I ever have anything more, like a relationship?

But just recently I have realised something, maybe it's obvious, maybe not, but it all revolves around us - me, you, ourselves. The answer lies within you. Our own attitude determines how we see the world, and how we see ourselves. This means accepting ourselves, and accepting that we are just as equal as the next person. Keeping positive, just telling ourselves everyday that life isnt so bad.

I know it is extremely difficult to do, and beleive what you are saying, especially at a low point, but I truly believe it is where we need to start. If we dont have self esteem, everything else is almost impossible, we will simply fall at the first hurdle. Every negative comment, every knock-down from another person (and as we all know they are impossible to avoid in life, unfortunately) just takes us back to the start, like running a race with a ten-ton weight strapped to our back.

Anyway, sorry I sound as though I'm preaching, I'm just as bad as the next SA sufferer, as soon as I feel low I cant see any way of feeling positive, but I will keep trying, and remembering that esteem is the very foundation of happiness, because without it, I have no foundation to build on.

Take care and all the best for 2007

-S

p.s. please put your post back on, everyone's comments are worthy, from whatever angle!

[pjarnfield]

I think this New Year is the first time i have gone into a New Year feeling as though my life is getting better and not just hoping that it will.

A lot of that is to with how 2006 went, the confidence that i have gained, the people i have met, and the new challenges i have taken on.

Last night was the 1st time i had ever been out on New Years and i can say how much i really really enjoyed it, despite missing being with my family. Of course i was nervous before going out and of course the drink does make it a little easier to enjoy yourself but i realised last night how much i do have going for me in my life. I have 3 amazing friends, Rachel, Sky and Natalie who love having my company. They may be crazy but i love em all to bits. Just after midnight i was so happy that i was in tears in the bar i was in. I think realising how much my life has changed in 12 months, and how much of that is down to me, the hard work i have put in that now is starting to pay its rewards.

Amazingly one of Skys friends came as well and one of his friends went to the same school and was in the same year as me. Such a small world but it was great to talk about being at school having lost touch with everyone i went there with.

New Years is always a great time to get a clean slate and start again but for me i just want 2007 to carry on from 2006. There is much more hard work to be done but knowing the rewards i am so determined to get stuck in now.

[blubs]

All the best to you too Darren
I love the quotes you have for your signature btw