Type What You're Thinking About Right Now (7)

[indigo777]

People with SA are generally shit at offering advice on how to overcome SA.

[buttonlane]

Originally Posted by indigo777

People with SA are generally shit at offering advice on how to overcome SA.

I'm not sure why you'd expect good advice in the first place. Would you ask a homeless person on the street how to be succesful in life? :/

[Zimmerman]

^agreed. Comfort, empathy and an ear is what you get. Any advice you may receive will be given with the best intentions though.

[Progress]

Originally Posted by indigo777

People with SA are generally shit at offering advice on how to overcome SA.

In one way it stands to reason doesn't it. Because how can someone offer advice on how to get out of a problem if they are within the problem themselves and can't find a way out.

Having said that I don't fully agree with what you say because each of us has a different sort of SA and there's always someone you can learn something from.

^^ BL beat me to it

[MLP James]

Originally Posted by indigo777

People with SA are generally shit at offering advice on how to overcome SA.

Who better to give advice on something than those who have first hand experience? People who've never had SA generally can't give good advice on it, unless they're very knowledgeable about it. Even then they can't really understand.

Of course if someone doesn't know how to deal with SA then it's unlikely they would know what to tell someone else, but there are many people here who have found ways of dealing with it and can give good advice, even if they still struggle themselves.

[Mr_Bean]

I dunno there's some good advice givers on the forum. But sometimes an outside perspective is also good. On Ds forums, on topics like anxiety/depression the advice can be radically different.

[Mr_Bean]

I got the lamest idea. A sort of unconditional friendship thread. Anyone that posts in the thread is an unconditionally a friend of anyone else in there.

[Appear]

[Olly.]

Do zombies shit?

[Chimpy]

Originally Posted by Surelynot

disconsolate hug box orgies

I love you for that phrase alone. I will try to use it in casual conversation later today

As for the substantive point, I have no useful advice. My SA is currently low/nonexistent due to the immense shock I've experienced. Not something that I would recommend, even if it could be replicated.

[Mr_Bean]

Originally Posted by Surelynot

It's not that, it's two things:

People who've beat SA to the extent they don't need this place don't tend to stick around but rather get out there in the real world, so they aren't around to advise, even though they're by far the most useful to learn from.

There is also sometimes an anti-recovery strain to the forum, insofar as positive thinking or action based perspectives are dismissed in favour of realism* or disconsolate hugbox orgies. It tends to discourage much-needed voices on the site. Misery loves company, I'm trying to say.

Your best bet would be to get out to meets, talk to self-identified recovering or ex sa people and use the site itself kinda sparingly.

* SAUK code for pessimism

I hadn't thought of that people leave when they get better. For them I guess it's more of a small blip, and their life comes together. For others it's maybe a bit more chronic which is why they hang around longer.

The anti-recovery, I think people do tend to ignore the recovery forum. Maybe a subconscious view sa people don't view other sa people's approaches with too high an esteem. Or it's just unhabitualised.

This being said there is good advice on this site- post a thread and I've been given some good advice a few times. There are 'recovering' and recovered people on this site. I am a recovering- 5 years ago I was agoraphobic.

[Concept]

Electrician is due to come over today. Pretty anxious. : (

[Z.]

Originally Posted by Olly.

Do zombies shit?

According to The Zombie Survival Guide:

'A zombie***8217;s digestive tract is completely dormant. The complex system that processes food, extracts nutrition, and excretes waste does not factor into a zombie***8217;s physiology. Autopsies conducted on neutralized undead have shown that their ***8216;food***8217; lies in its original, undigested state at all sections of the tract. This partially chewed, slowly rotting matter will continue to accumulate, as the zombie devours more victims, until it is forced through the anus, or literally bursts through the stomach or intestinal lining.'

Also if zombies did excrete, the stench would cause survivors to cover their nose, which doesn't happen. Look at the Walking Dead for instance. This is never the case; we have seen bloated zombies however, which suggests that their digestive systems aren't functioning properly, and that their bodies just accumulate food until they become larger.

[Progress]

I'm thinking about disconsolate hugbox orgies.
I think I want one

[Pablo Huntsbach]

Time for a shave, I think. Sorry ladies! I had a cappuccino yesterday and it was a big foamy disaster.

[Pandapop]

I really need some good new films to watch.

[Z.]

Originally Posted by Pandapop

I really need some good new films to watch.

Try looking at imdb top rated lists and rotten tomatoes lists. Like top films of all time, or top horror films of all time lists. That's how I find them. Or Roger Ebert reviews.

[Pandapop]

Originally Posted by JzMunch

Try looking at imdb top rated lists and rotten tomatoes lists. Like top films of all time, or top horror films of all time lists. That's how I find them. Or Roger Ebert reviews.

I always do that too

[Z.]

Originally Posted by Pandapop

I always do that too

Or I always type into google things like 'greatest high school movies of all time' or 'greatest life-changing movies' ha. It always works.
I'm watching Hot Tub Time Machine with Cusack at the moment. I know what you're thinking, but give it a chance. it's pretty good

[Pandapop]

Originally Posted by JzMunch

Or I always type into google things like 'greatest high school movies of all time' or 'greatest life-changing movies' ha. It always works.
I'm watching Hot Tub Time Machine with Cusack at the moment. I know what you're thinking, but give it a chance. it's pretty good

Yup I do that too and it's what I'm currently doing hopefully I will find something

Stuff that film!

[Memory]

I'm thinking how I wish my glasses hadn't broken today because I really don't want to go out today. I have an old pair to wear and my broken glasses are still wearable if I'm careful but gah, scary going to the opticians whether it's today or tomorrow or whenever.

[Spectrelight]

Originally Posted by Amatus

I think this year I'm going to make an effort to go to at least one meet. Especially if I move towards the Midlands or Brighton area as it won't be so far to travel.

Brighton is a million times better than the Midlands

[Excaliber]

Tackling SA isn't ****ing rocket science. You force yourself to try the things you're scared of. You may feel you need others' encouragement to do so, whether that be from people on here or counsellors but tackling the fear is the only way you're going to beat it.

With that in mind, why people use others on here as a scapegoat for them failing to, let's not beat around the bush, having the bollocks to approach new people at that current moment in time, I don't know.

You're not some wise old sage for pointing out that people here don't have all the answers, yet that doesn't spare us from subsequent analysis of this site (happens every time). If you don't like the site in its current state, either leave or instigate change. Ordinarily, I would say you're welcome no matter what but if we're dispensing with "hug box orgies", fine; my advice is like it or lump it.

[Pablo Huntsbach]

^I think I know what you meant. People on here have good advice to give but there are some who choose to ignore it because it interferes with their plan to swim in a pool of blissful self pity. Something like that?

I'll be honest, I'm not the best at taking advice myself sometimes.

[Progress]

Originally Posted by Surelynot

@Excaliber

I'd like to pm you later exploring what I mean a bit more but having said that, I totally agree with your first paragraph, you're exactly right. Plus, people here do, give fantastic advice on a number of things as I have experienced: benefits rights, hobbies, medication, family issues, related mental issues - and comforting is each other is a big part of the site, and is v useful. But I was addressing recovery and the sa room and relationships room specifically, and merely trends.

Marvellous bunch of people on here, always said so.

I'll catch you later but now - 'Wise Old' surelynot has work. *sighs heavily at clock*

I read the post a number of times because I didn't know who it was referring to. In the end I thought it was probably in reply to indigo actually (or maybe in part, I don't know)

I think it's good if these things are discussed on the forum because we all learn something, but it's up to you if you want to keep it private.

[rachlou]

I find it very hard to read people :/

[endo_endo]

knowing what to do and doing it are different things and you have to be ready to tackle the fear and live with the risks and that's something each person has to decide for themselves advice will only get you so far.

I don't get the hugs thing myself never have, hugs have never fixed my problems or made me feel better about them but if it helps others that's wonderful.

been thinking about things many things. my mom is still unwell I notice it more every week. I'm struggling to be more social and talk to more people I don't know. I need to get past my fear that when they get to know me they'll not think I'm a "freak and a dumb ass" and piss off as fast as they can. I think I've spent so much time alone that being around people ( even ones I know and like ) is so alien to me.

[LordSnow]

I'm thinking about the sudden transformation Facebook just underwent as I refreshed the page. I'm not sure what I think about it.

Nevermind it just changed back, that was weird.

[Olly.]

That I wish I could have the courage or money to attend meets, lots of lovely people I wish I could meet in person, but its just too damn scary

[Pablo Huntsbach]

Originally Posted by Amatus

I did fall a little bit in love with Brighton when I went there for a weekend. But my family will be in the midlands. I've a lot to ponder. Any advice is welcome.

The Midlands isn't so bad. It's got a little bit of everything except a coast. Which part is your family moving to? The shires are nice, Birmingham and The Black Country are a hell scape but it's my hell scape and I love it.