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  #1  
Old 4th April 2008, 04:32
Wheelie Bin Bird Wheelie Bin Bird is offline
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Default What would you do?

You all know my best friend Zoei and my god daughter are coming for a week on Sunday.

Well anyways Tom said to me last night basically I have to go back with her or hes going to leave me.

What do I do? Someone must know coz I don't.
  #2  
Old 4th April 2008, 04:34
IRIS IRIS is offline
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Default Re: What would you do?

why've you got to go back with her?
  #3  
Old 4th April 2008, 04:38
Wheelie Bin Bird Wheelie Bin Bird is offline
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Default Re: What would you do?

hiya IRIS

apparently to sort myself out!
apparently he can't cope with me anymore, so it's either I go or he goes.
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Old 4th April 2008, 04:42
IRIS IRIS is offline
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Default Re: What would you do?

hello
erm - do whatever you feel like doing, do you want to go back with her?
  #5  
Old 4th April 2008, 04:55
Wheelie Bin Bird Wheelie Bin Bird is offline
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Default Re: What would you do?

No! I'm shit scared of flying but doesn't look like I have much chioce does it, or do I.
I could walk away and never look back.

He was on about booking me a one way ticket and selling my house, I don't know what to do.

He's an arsehole and right now I don't really like him.

I don't know if he's got someone else, He's so cold towards me, takes what he wants, sex money you name it, I feel used and dirty like a whore but I don't know what to do.

What about my girls?
  #6  
Old 4th April 2008, 05:03
IRIS IRIS is offline
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Default Re: What would you do?

oh dear what a predicament. I wouldn't like to suggest what to do , not knowing the ins and outs of stuff, only you can decide the right path. Is talking to him and telling him your fears totally out of the question?
  #7  
Old 4th April 2008, 05:12
Wheelie Bin Bird Wheelie Bin Bird is offline
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Default Re: What would you do?

He knows my fears IRIS
the amount of times I've been in tears trying to explane things to him is out of this world.

Is it time to say goodbye? it feels like it but who would have me, an old 30 year old bint with 2 kids, i'm scared.

I've taken off my engagement ring, as I just don't want to be linked with him like that now.
  #8  
Old 4th April 2008, 05:20
IRIS IRIS is offline
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Default Re: What would you do?

in my experience , kids don't seem to matter to potential partners, in fact people with kids seem to have much more luck in love than I do!!
Hope you find a way through all this *stroke* , it always comes across to me that you love this guy I may be wrong. I hope someone comes on the thread and offers some good advice to you!

ugh - why did i have that wine last night- I feel ugh!
  #9  
Old 4th April 2008, 08:00
Wheelie Bin Bird Wheelie Bin Bird is offline
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Default Re: What would you do?

I'm on the market!

30 years old, two kids, blonde 5'6" an big blue eyes.

Money, own home and lives in Spain, who wants me?
  #10  
Old 4th April 2008, 11:17
Winnie57 Winnie57 is offline
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Default Re: What would you do?

Sounds like Tom just wants you to get better. He must find your illness hard to cope with.

Why don't you talk to Zoei when she comes? Maybe Zoei could mediate between the two of you and see if you can talk things through and come to a solution which will benefit everyone and especially the kids.

Whatever happens I think seeing Zoei will give you a boost and maybe you might end up wanting to go back with her for a while. Take care whatever you decide
  #11  
Old 4th April 2008, 11:36
Wheelie Bin Bird Wheelie Bin Bird is offline
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Default Re: What would you do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Winsome
Sounds like Tom just wants you to get better. He must find your illness hard to cope with.

Why don't you talk to Zoei when she comes? Maybe Zoei could mediate between the two of you and see if you can talk things through and come to a solution which will benefit everyone and especially the kids.

Whatever happens I think seeing Zoei will give you a boost and maybe you might end up wanting to go back with her for a while. Take care whatever you decide
Heather my relationship is over a far as I can see.
he doesn't want me nore do I want him.
Sad state of affairs but its life
  #12  
Old 4th April 2008, 11:46
bozrena bozrena is offline
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Default Re: What would you do?

I'm really sorry. I hope things work out for you *hugs*
  #13  
Old 4th April 2008, 15:04
Blue Haze Blue Haze is offline
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Default Re: What would you do?

Not really sure what to say, but hope things work out for you Kate.
  #14  
Old 4th April 2008, 18:58
indiegirl1980 indiegirl1980 is offline
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Default Re: What would you do?

In the short term, when Zoei sees how unhappy you are I should think she'll suggest that you come back with her anyway. I would if someone I cared for was in that situation, just to give them a break as much as anything else.
  #15  
Old 4th April 2008, 19:19
IRIS IRIS is offline
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Default Re: What would you do?

sorry kate to hear about you and Tom having probs - I hope you can really talk things thru with Zoei and she makes you feel better.

I'm on the market also.
29 yrs old , curvy brunette, who wants me ? :D
  #16  
Old 4th April 2008, 19:43
CliveL CliveL is offline
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Default Re: What would you do?

I am searching for a new partner, dont know if I could cope with 2 . So if anyone wants a burnt out computer geek with an index linked pension, then let me know
  #17  
Old 5th April 2008, 10:57
Wheelie Bin Bird Wheelie Bin Bird is offline
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Default Re: What would you do?

Quote:
Originally Posted by MeInTheCorner
Ok, i dont know you so perhaps i shouldnt offer advice. But i do think you should try and talk about this with your partner. This is not a criticism, but the people you should be asking are not on this website, he lives with you. I know its not easy but i wouldnt break up with someone without considering everything first.

I say this from a guys perspective by the way. If i was in this situation i would want my gf to sit down and talk calmly and nicely about it. Sure you feel anger and hatred towards him now, but you once loved him thats why the two of you got together. Sit down, have a nice meal, some wine, just the two of you and tell him what is making you upset. Allow yourself to show emotion and make sure he knows how you feel, tell him everything. Then ask him, and please please listen. I am sorry but i have not met many girls who are as good at listening as they are at talking. Dont get mad or irratic, just listen and let him talk. The lack of communication between the two is what is causing the hatred.

Hope it all works out ok for you.
I appriciate what your saying but we're done 13 just isn't a good number
  #18  
Old 5th April 2008, 17:39
indiegirl1980 indiegirl1980 is offline
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Default Re: What would you do?

As others have rightly pointed out, none of us on here really know the ins and outs of the situation, all we can do is offer support.

I think that Me In The Corner's the idea of talking is a good one in principle, but with the proviso that both partners stay calm and listen to each other.

I think that Winnie's idea is also good, but depends of course on whether Zoei wants to be in a mediator situation.
  #19  
Old 6th April 2008, 06:58
Wheelie Bin Bird Wheelie Bin Bird is offline
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Default Re: What would you do?

Thankyou everyone

I had to warn her of the situation yesterday, she said he's mad! she basically went garrity expecting me to get on a flight so soon.

But she'll be here in a few hours and I intend to live it up, She's my tonic and I'm her gin just need to find a glass big enough!

I can't do the mediation thing, he wont talk to her he even wanted me to book him a flight to the UK didn't he while she was here.

Ahh it's all gravy, I'll sort it or drop dead trying.

Such is life
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