The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

[Z.]

Originally Posted by Dougella

You're right that anti-depressants don't tackle the problem. They can give people a lift and a bit of relief from certain symptoms which in turn can make it easier for people to tackle things with therapy etc. But they're certainly not a cure.

It's important to distinguish between situational depression and clinical depression. Your reasoning only applies to situational depression.

Anti-depressants aren't intended to be a cure. It just makes life for a lot of us liveable. It's the same rationale behind medication used for any physical ailment, such as hayfever or cluster headaches. We know that we can't cure it (clinical depression), so we just have to try and treat the symptoms as best we can.

As for situational depression, that is different. It's something that can be overcome without medication, although they may help temporarily.

[ynwa247]

Originally Posted by quietuker

By "disconnected" do you mean you feel you don't fit in or were you outcasted?

both i guess, anxiety makes me avoid stuff and seem pretty boring, i spoke to people in school but never got close

[LonelyBoy]

There's no such thing as "clinical depression".

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by SuBo

It's important to distinguish between situational depression and clinical depression. Your reasoning only applies to situational depression.

Anti-depressants aren't intended to be a cure. It just makes life for a lot of us liveable. It's the same rationale behind medication used for any physical ailment, such as hayfever or cluster headaches. We know that we can't cure it (clinical depression), so we just have to try and treat the symptoms as best we can.

As for situational depression, that is different. It's something that can be overcome without medication, although they may help temporarily.

Yes, you're right about that.

[ynwa247]

Sometimes I feel very impatient over death and want to just get it out of the way.

[newbs16]

^ I hope you get the help you need and attempt seven doesn't happen

[Z.]

Sorry to hear that BtB. I hope you get help, and that you don't attempt another.

[Ajax Amsterdam]

@ BtB.

Really sorry to read that, mate.

Please, do look after yourself, eh.

I hope you can get the support that you need to get you through all this.

[Indigo_]

Look after yourself Ken

[David K]

^ That's how I've felt for a long time now. I know I'm not going to do it, but that resignation still sticks around.

[MrsJones]

^ Definitely not alone in this, folks. x

[Oddity]

^^ No-one hates you Luna! I like you, and I don't lie dammit!

[Nostracarmus]

I have lots and lots of time for you Luna. Feel free to use it sometime.

With my current mood too, we could both scream at life for a while.

[quietuker]

Originally Posted by David K

^ That's how I've felt for a long time now. I know I'm not going to do it, but that resignation still sticks around.

Same here

The problem is and this will sound crazy but whenever I am near a bridge I always think about what it would be like if I thrown myself off it as messed up as that sounds.

[Some1]

Originally Posted by quietuker

Same here

The problem is and this will sound crazy but whenever I am near a bridge I always think about what it would be like if I thrown myself off it as messed up as that sounds.

I've thought about this BEFORE i was depressed and had social anxiety. Not sure why, but it felt a little tempting.

[quietuker]

I guess what triggers suicidal thoughts for me is the fact that I am inferior physically and mentally. I have never had that confirmed but I just know I am intellectually challenged and physically challenged as well. I never really succeeded in anything and developed social anxiety because of being rejected socially, I was the weird looking kid in school who nobody wanted to be seen with as it would of stumped their social status.

If I had no fear I would of done myself in way before now, I don't see the point in me being here when everything about me is inferior.

[Indigo_]

Originally Posted by quietuker

Same here

The problem is and this will sound crazy but whenever I am near a bridge I always think about what it would be like if I thrown myself off it as messed up as that sounds.

I have had similar thoughts. I also experience something similar when driving sometimes, the whole "what if I just don't brake right now?"

[firemonkey]

It's hard when life seems hopeless and yet you're scared of dying.

[Pink*Lady]

I have suicidal thoughts on a regular basis. It stems from issues such as being bullied throughout my life, having sa, sexuality and low self esteem. It's exhausting being in the dark.

[Oddity]

[Tembo]

The suicidal thoughts are becoming quite frequent again.

The main thing stopping me is my family. I'm also quite fearful of what really happens when you die. Logic says I'd just rot away and know nothing about it. But part of me fears I'd end up in some sort of purgatory.

[Indigo_]

^ Sorry to hear that Telex.

Whilst I'm not particularly worried about what happens when you die I know I wouldn't have the guts to go through with it. It's so final.

[Merritt]

I'm never sure if I'm feeling truly suicidal at any given time because I'm so used to not valuing my life, or caring if and when it ends. Does it only count when you're actively trying to kill yourself? I think what prevents it for me is that I'm too cowardly to make any decisions that definitive. I wonder sometimes if I'm killing myself in slow-motion by just spending year after year not taking part in living, hoping that life will one day wind it all down for me without me having to be responsible.

It seems too hard to actually do myself. You can't exactly practice killing yourself, can you? I mean, getting practical experience doing it. I worry that even if I tried, I'd lose my bottle or not do it right, then have to deal with the shame of being an attention seeker or time waster or whatever. Now there's something to beat myself up over: being too rubbish to kill myself.

It's funny, I actually do think like that. Telling myself I'm bad at suffering from depression, I don't suffer in the correct way, I'm a failure at being mentally ill. I've thought that as recently as earlier today, 'Do you really think you're important enough to have an illness, like real people? Stop making excuses for yourself. You're just a bad human being, it's just you.'

[blancmange]

I've just had the worst conversation with my support worker and its triggered me so bad. I've ended up relapsing and now my arm kills. I wish I could actually ring a suicide hotline right now.

[Z.]

Originally Posted by Dimplesxo

I've just had the worst conversation with my support worker and its triggered me so bad. I've ended up relapsing and now my arm kills. I wish I could actually ring a suicide hotline right now.

Sorry to hear that dimples. You should try and ring them if you need to. I know it's difficult, but they'll show you nothing but support.
Also, can you not perhaps ring your support worker and they may help you?

[David K]

Originally Posted by Dimplesxo

I've just had the worst conversation with my support worker and its triggered me so bad. I've ended up relapsing and now my arm kills. I wish I could actually ring a suicide hotline right now.

You can text the Samaritans on 07725909090, although they'll take about an hour to reply as they don't have enough volunteers to answer many people (which is why they don't advertise that number more widely).

Calling would definitely be preferable, but if you definitely can't manage that it's better than nothing. Sorry you're feeling so awful.

[newbs16]

Dimples you should of texted me it makes me sad, I love dimples I really see you as a good mate

[kirbycrackle]

Originally Posted by Dimplesxo

I've just had the worst conversation with my support worker and its triggered me so bad. I've ended up relapsing and now my arm kills. I wish I could actually ring a suicide hotline right now.

I hope you're okay dimples.

[teacheraid]

I believe it is the way I will die and have for some time, unless by some luck (apologies to anyone with a terminal illness) but I get some terminal illness that gives me enough time to say goodbye to the people I love and can die with the help of palliative care. But I just don't feel that will happen, so I feel that it will be suicide and I am very concerned with not getting it right, I have never tried, but feel when I do , will be the only time, but still there is the many possibilities of it going wrong

[sam1w2e]

Suicide has been on my mind for a while now and I think about it a lot. When I think about what happens when we die I'm very curious, almost excited to find out because it's such an unknown realm. I think numbness/not caring about much plays a role.
Probably the main thing that helps is knowing that we're all going to die one day anyway, so I might as well stick around until then. But even that fails to keep it out of my head sometimes.
I can't say I've ever felt an urge or impulse to go through with it though, it just plays on my mind a lot.
I have no intention of discussing these thoughts with anyone in my family because of the stigma attached to it.
Just the other day on Christmas eve my eldest sister invited herself into my room to have a typical talk saying I need to sort myself out and do something with my life, ending by saying that she doesn't want someone to walk in to find that I've killed myself. I almost laughed tbh. Sick of people feeling like they have an obligation to look out for me just because we're related by blood, when I know they don't genuinely care about me, they must think I'm blind to not be able to see through it.