Feeling Judged and talked about!

[Formershyguy]

Maybe I'm paranoid but I feel my neighbours probably hate me and talk about me behind my back. I think its because I'm living with my mum at such an advanced age when other people have already settled down and had families.

Sure I should have moved out years ago but now I kinda have to stay with my mum to look after her as she is not in the best of health. Only this morning she had a fall as I was woken by a coffee mug smashing. I don't think she hit her head but she did hurt her bottom and elbow a little. I think its because she feinted due to the pain she is in.

My sister would have immediately called an Ambulance but I just want to bury my head in the sand. I feel useless but I did rush to the kitchen when it happened and helped her up, and made sure she was ok.

I went out today to make some money from my side hustle so I can pay my bills. But I felt bad leaving my mum then as I was getting in my neighbours, this couple who live opposite us in the block of 4 flats were coming out with their Dog. They didn;t say anything. I said "Hi". Maybe they didn;t hear me but they didn;t reply.

I mean I've done absolutely nothing to them. I look after my mum the best I can. I take the rubbish, collect the bins and order her meals. I do a lot for her so I hope they are not judging me on how I am with my mum. It really is no one's business but our own.

The other neighbour downstairs did ask me if my mum was ok a while back and I just answered yes because I didn;t want to go into my mum's illness with her because as I said its not her business. But I can hardly tell people to mind their own business. That would be rude and agressive.

It did scare me when I saw my mum on the floor! and I cried and play to God for her to get better!

[Laurel]

Can’t take it personally, some people just keep themselves to themselves. There are a lot of people caring after a parent or so. I don’t know if there’s some sort of thing where carers of parents can meet up.

[Dougella]

Yes it's pretty common for people to live with an elderly parent to help care for them. I don't think people would be judging you too harshly for doing that, or if they were it would be their problem.

Your SA seems to be acting up here, you're trying to work out what people might be thinking of you and jumping to negative conclusions whereas the reality is that people probably aren't thinking anything much at all. It's hard not to do that ofcourse with SA!

[humphrey]

It's perfectly normal now for you to be living in with an elderly parent who is needing to be cared for. I think you would be surprised how many people are actually doing this. I did this for a few years looking after mum, none of the neighbours seemed bothered, they were more worried when we had the ambulance to the house. Most of the time they would ask how she was doing and also noticed when she was in Hospital, as I came in from work and went back out an hour later for visiting, then returned a couple of hours later.

If they were talking behind my back, it was up to them. But my immediate neighbours offered support and any help I required.

[Aelwyn]

If I had someone living near me looking after a parent, I would think they were kind and caring.