What makes socializing an enjoyable / pleasurable activity for people?

[tooshytosay]

It has come to my attention recently that people actually enjoy socializing!

This might sound obvious; but to me socializing has always been seen as a "chore" or a "painful activity" - something to be avoided if at all possible.

So I was wondering, what is it that makes socializing an enjoyable / pleasurable activity for people?

[Toxic]

ive never seen the appeal of it , sometimes i feel bad about doing nothing socially all the time except talking to people on msn (school/uni friends mostly). Occasionally ive been asked to go out somewhere and i think ill make the effort for a change, pretty much any social thing ive been to with more than about 2 people im sat there wishing i was back at home watching TV . Do i sit here quiet and get accused of being moody or weird, try and join in with the conversation and say something silly or make a tit of myself? Oh! and then you spend the next x number of days trying to think about everything you said and if anything was "stupid" and what people will think of you...or at least i do

It's all tricky stuff! nope, i dont get it

[Grogoch]

1. People can make me laugh, so much. Somehow laughing with people at something that's happened or been said in that moment is more fun than laughing at recorded stuff on TV or a book.
2. Sometimes it's incredibly interesting talking to people, and finding out about their perspectives and experiences. I learn about new things, hear strange stories..
3. I go to places and do things that I might not on my own
4. People can be surprising. When i'm on my own i'm pretty much in control, so I know what to expect. Which isn't so exciting.

Still often scares the shit out of me though

[AxelFendersson]

Multiple minds bouncing ideas off each other is more interesting and satisfying than one mind rolling ideas around itself.

When talking to other people, you can make each other laugh, bounce ideas around, explore differing perspectives and gain a better understanding of the things you are all interested in.

But more than that, mingling with other people can create a sense of belonging and provide companionship and security. It can be inherently satisfying in and of itself as it satisfies an in-built instinctive need to create bonds with other beings.

[Phool]

Originally Posted by kukri

2. Sometimes it's incredibly interesting talking to people, and finding out about their perspectives and experiences. I learn about new things, hear strange stories..
3. I go to places and do things that I might not on my own
4. People can be surprising. When i'm on my own i'm pretty much in control, so I know what to expect. Which isn't so exciting.

Originally Posted by AxelFendersson

Multiple minds bouncing ideas off each other is more interesting and satisfying than one mind rolling ideas around itself.

When talking to other people, you can make each other laugh, bounce ideas around, explore differing perspectives and gain a better understanding of the things you are all interested in.

These bits really. Can't stand being in large crowds but sharing activities and experiences with people on a one to one basis is really lovely.

[hardy]

Originally Posted by AxelFendersson

Multiple minds bouncing ideas off each other is more interesting and satisfying than one mind rolling ideas around itself.

When talking to other people, you can make each other laugh, bounce ideas around, explore differing perspectives and gain a better understanding of the things you are all interested in.

But more than that, mingling with other people can create a sense of belonging and provide companionship and security. It can be inherently satisfying in and of itself as it satisfies an in-built instinctive need to create bonds with other beings.

I think thats correct. Most people with SA would enjoy it if they were not worrying about what others think of them . that worry is the ONLY thing that stands between you and "normal" social enjoyment.JUst imagine what life might be like without that fear.

[Mr Ploppy]

As others have said it can be fascinating and so enjoyable that it's almost a drug.

That said it can also be incredibly boring or anxious, especially when it's centred around how drunk you can get and how fast.

[Ajax Amsterdam]

Originally Posted by tooshytosay

It has come to my attention recently that people actually enjoy socializing!

This might sound obvious; but to me socializing has always been seen as a "chore" or a "painful activity" - something to be avoided if at all possible.

So I was wondering, what is it that makes socializing an enjoyable / pleasurable activity for people?

Despite lifelong SA, I do enjoy being with people. Not all people, of course, but those I can connect with, enjoy interacting with and learn from.
In years gone by I'd see the thought of interaction as very painful, thus a chore to avoid or endure if I had to. I eventually realised that isolation and detachment from others comes with a pain all of its own, though. Living life that way becomes just as much of a chore.

What makes the difficulties of interaction well worth it in my eyes is that I generally like people. I like to know people and share experiences and conversations with them. It can be interesting, fun, educational and many more things besides. We can learn things and broaden our attitudes and horizons through interaction with others. It can also help us get out of our heads and into our lives.

I find getting behind the mask with people can be very rewarding, interesting and eye-opening. Really getting to know some people can be a fantastic experience. General socialising can be the doorway to getting to know certain individuals on a far deeper level, be that on a friendship or relationship level.

The experience of living always throws things up that we cope with easily, and also things we struggle greatly with. That is life. Socialising is just the same. There may be a level of discomfort and struggle when it comes to being around others, but the rewards and good experiences are there too. They sort of go together. Interacting and socialising with people can be life-enriching, but that does not mean it is always plain-sailing. To get the smooth I suppose we have to accept that there will also be rough along the way too. From a position of once hating being around people at all, I now really enjoy interacting with people. Even though it can be painful and difficult at times. For me, the rewards of interaction outweigh the pain of isolation, even though interaction can include pain and discomfort at times.