A halcyon day before the storms gathered

[firemonkey]

Jan 15 1965. My 8th birthday. Saw Mary Poppins at the Leicester square Odeon followed by a birthday celebration at a
Lyons corner house.It was a halcyon day before the storms gathered. I may have been odd, but if so other children had not reacted as though I was. 5 days later I started boarding school.The place where sons of diplomats go at the age of 8 or less. I was totally unsuited for it. I was faced with something I struggled to cope with. Not overtly traumatic ,but traumatic nonetheless. It manifested in bed-wetting. The differences between the other boys and me became glaringly apparent on going to public school. Like a lot of my generation found decades later to be autistic I was subjected to severe bullying. In my case it was verbal. The result was increasingly poor mental health resulting in an overdose at the end of my penultimate term there.

I went back for what should have been my A level term so as not to disappointment my father. I lasted a week before saying I couldn't cope. After a few days in the school sanatorium I was admitted to Severalls psychiatric hospital.

[Mole58]

My father took me to London for a few days for passing the 11+. He was a Londoner. I loved the Lyons' Corner Houses. I loved the whole place, so much so, I didn't want to go back home, up north.

[Moksha]

Originally Posted by firemonkey

I was admitted to Severalls psychiatric hospital.

In Colchester?

I also remember a sort of Edenic time – an age of innocence. For me, it was from around 2-8. I was born in the late 1970s, so even now anything from the early '80s makes me happy. 1980-1985, those were my golden years. At around eight or nine the storm clouds gathered. By 10 or 11 the foundations of an avoidant personality disorder were in place, and from then on life just got worse and worse.

[firemonkey]

Yes in,or near,Colchester.

[biscuits]

Oh fire monkey, I'm so sorry that you experienced all of that at such a young age. Mental health support just wasn't there, was it. It's come a long way, but still overstretched and underfunded with many people unable to get the support they need.

Do you feel better supported now?

[Dougella]

I know that for certain families boarding school was just expected for their children and they thought that they were giving their children the best education possible, but 8 is so young to be going away to school! So many people seem have lasting emotional damage from being sent away at such an early age, even without conditions like autism being missed.

[Moksha]

Originally Posted by firemonkey

Yes in,or near,Colchester.

I believe my mother (or grandfather) used to work there, probably around the same time.

I'm not surprised boarding school had that effect on you. Robert Graves, the poet, fought in WW1, yet if you read his autobiography it's clear that he found boarding school more traumatic. C S Lewis also fought in WW1, and he actually says up front that his boarding school was more dreadful than the war! I've met people who went to such schools. They never really grow up. It's as if the experience is so overwhelming/traumatic that they get stuck or fixated at that age. I'm sure that's not always the case, but it can be (like most schools, I guess it depends how lucky or unlucky you are with the kids who happen to be in your year group).

[firemonkey]

Originally Posted by biscuits

Oh fire monkey, I'm so sorry that you experienced all of that at such a young age. Mental health support just wasn't there, was it. It's come a long way, but still overstretched and underfunded with many people unable to get the support they need.

Do you feel better supported now?

I have a better mental health team . They don't do a lot, but they're not hostile and judgemental as the previous MH team was. 99% of the better support comes from my stepfamily.

[biscuits]

^ glad to hear that

[firemonkey]

Brash ,extroverted and preferably sporty teenagers are best suited to public school.Or at least that was the case when I was there from 1970-1975 . I was none of those things being shy, far from brash and quite sensitive. Nowadays a child/teenager like myself would be regarded as 2e, but there was nothing like that then. Hence I was an academic under performer. It's took till the advanced age of 63 to realise I'm actually far more intelligent than I was given credit for at school. Even so 'imposter syndrome' rears its head from time to time.

[choirgirl]

That's sad, Firemonkey. That's far, far too young to be sent away to school, even for a neurotypical child, I think.

[firemonkey]

Originally Posted by choirgirl

That's sad, Firemonkey. That's far, far too young to be sent away to school, even for a neurotypical child, I think.

My brother was 7.5 years old when he went. He's NT.