You know you're getting old when..

[gregarious_introvert]

I moved from London to help look after my dad (who was housebound but tried to stay as independent as possible) for his last ten years - but not everyone can do that. I wasn't alone, he had district nurses too and a helpful neighbour, I still managed to work and live separately.

As aoon as I'm immobile, someone please take me out and shoot me (I reckon that'll be at least 25 years though)

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[gregarious_introvert]

Actually, if immobile before I'm 81, I'll hang on to see what happens if I post here - then shoot me!

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[gregarious_introvert]

^ The sitcoms from my youth were in black and white, never mind 4:3!

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[limey123]

When someone on a friendship/penfriend site (actually another bloke), who's around your age, sends you a message saying "Hey daddy" ...

[Dougella]

^ Are you sure that was a friendship site

[limey123]

^ Yeah, it's a prominent site for penfriends and language learning. I've made an excellent, long-term penfriend from there.

But many people seem to be trying to treat it like a dating (perving) agency: there are a LOT of Middle Eastern men (blocked routinely by most of the women) who are hitting on Western women, and a LOT of women from Thailand and Russia/Ukraine looking for Western men to marry, it seems.

[Dougella]

^ Interesting

[Consolida]

^ I thought you were anti weddings and marriage

[Orwell20]

Originally Posted by HermannHesse

and a LOT of women from Thailand and Russia/Ukraine looking for Western men to marry, it seems.

Sign me up!

How depressing to wake up each morning next to a woman you have basically bought - a woman who secretly hates you. The sex would be rubbish because, unless you are incredibly insensitive, there would be an undercurrent of guilt and disgust. And as for loneliness, Jesus, would could find that a cure for loneliness You overcome loneliness through love, intimacy, fun, affection, etc, not through buying a wife.

Western men who marry beautiful young Russian or Asian girls are taking advantage of their poverty. If I did that, my self-esteem would crash through the floor. I would hate myself even more than I already do.

[Dougella]

When you can't read the ingredients on something when you're shopping because you don't have your glasses

[Azalea]

Originally Posted by Dougella

When you can't read the ingredients on something when you're shopping because you don't have your glasses

When can't read them and you DO have your glasses

[humphrey]

When you need a magnifying glass to read the tiny writing on phone chargers etc, and you still can't decipher it.

[Rocket Spud]

When you have to take a 'moment' standing up from out of the bath.

[Consolida]

^ A friend of mine, who is British Asian, didn't have an arranged marriage but was introduced to her now husband by relatives - something which she had resisted for a long time. Anyway, it turned out that they were a perfect match and have been happily married for some years. I think sharing a very similar background, culture and religion can be a very good thing although of course there has to be plenty of attraction and love thrown into the mix too

[kirbycrackle]

You spend time thinking about bowel movements. It’s a hobby these days

[humphrey]

^ You wonder when your bowel is going to move or not. I used to be regular as clockwork but now it has a mind of its own.

[kirbycrackle]

^ aye the human digestive tract is a fickle madam

[Sphinx]

^ hah I miss the days where I could eat bread, noodles, sweets etc all day long and feel absolutely fine.

[choirgirl]

Someone gave you a bottle of something alcoholic but unappealing and it has been sitting around for a year. You think of opening it, but then think, nah, it's not worth the calories if it's not going to taste nice. Wonder who I could offload it onto. And you wonder who you have become.

[Neil]

When you follow the career of a sportsperson, (Busquets’ dad Carles, Barcelona ex-goalie and an absolute nutter of a player), and then follow the career of his more talented son. To add insult to injury the son is no spring chicken either.

[Orwell20]

...you realise things are never going to get any better, that it's pretty much downhill from here. On tonight's news, they filmed inside an old people's home. Christ, it was so depressing. Each resident basically lives in one room, like some horrible, cheap hotel. And that's how all this miserable, pointless sh*t ends - sat alone in a small room waiting to die.

[Moksha]

Originally Posted by Orwell20

...you realise things are never going to get any better, that it's pretty much downhill from here. On tonight's news, they filmed inside an old people's home. Christ, it was so depressing. Each resident basically lives in one room, like some horrible, cheap hotel. And that's how all this miserable, pointless sh*t ends - sat alone in a small room waiting to die.

That's the worst thing about getting older - the loss of hope. When you are young, even if you are unhappy (which I was), you still have energy and time. You still believe that, maybe, things will work out. And you feel like you are moving towards something. After 40, that all goes. You realise you aren't going anywhere any more except that old people's home and then a coffin. I suppose that's why people have kids. They can then feed off of their energy and hope.

[Dougella]

^ Things don't have to be like that, society has to make the decision to change it.(None of my grandparents ended up living in a home, because they didn't want to and their wishes were respected.)

[genovese]

^ we were told you'd died
Wtf

FAKE NEWS!

[Neil]

Originally Posted by HermannHesse

It's not so much a social issue. Even if one were to spend ones last in a palace with servants, the pitiful ending of one's pitiful journey will be - in all ways that it matters - much the same. In fact, dying neglected and alone in an nursing home - which is really just the method we adopt for covering up the pointlessness of life, and for the administrative processing of lived life into biological waste - is probably as good as any other way of going.

There is no real dignity or value to ageing. That is a bitter pill to swallow, and of course can jar with the feelings we have for our older relatives who we so desperately love. But the reality is, they - like us - might well have never been here. It all amounts to nothing but a pool of piss and a final whimper. Life is only useless frustrations, broken dreams, hopes that never find realisation, and feelings that only taunt then disappoint. It is effectively over with at 25, and beyond that there is no hope to be had, though we hold onto the lie of a better day through cowardice and denial. Some people are lucky enough to have sex to pass the time, a few can't even get that.

If we were to see life for what it truly is, we would all work together to dig a city sized hole in the earth and collectively jump into the planet's core, vaporizing the human race in an afternoon in a protest to the heavens against the curse of being born.

A very Frankie Boyle style brutalist monologue! The laughs I get from your posts give me reason to live! I mean no disrespect, and I apologise if your post was meant to be serious but the part about collectively jumping into the planet’s core in an afternoon of protest was comedy gold.

[Utopia]

Originally Posted by HermannHesse

It's not so much a social issue. Even if one were to spend ones last in a palace with servants, the pitiful ending of one's pitiful journey will be - in all ways that it matters - much the same. In fact, dying neglected and alone in an nursing home - which is really just the method we adopt for covering up the pointlessness of life, and for the administrative processing of lived life into biological waste - is probably as good as any other way of going.

There is no real dignity or value to ageing. That is a bitter pill to swallow, and of course can jar with the feelings we have for our older relatives who we so desperately love. But the reality is, they - like us - might well have never been here. It all amounts to nothing but a pool of piss and a final whimper. Life is only useless frustrations, broken dreams, hopes that never find realisation, and feelings that only taunt then disappoint. It is effectively over with at 25, and beyond that there is no hope to be had, though we hold onto the lie of a better day through cowardice and denial. Some people are lucky enough to have sex to pass the time, a few can't even get that.

If we were to see life for what it truly is, we would all work together to dig a city sized hole in the earth and collectively jump into the planet's core, vaporizing the human race in an afternoon in a protest to the heavens against the curse of being born.

TBH, there are days when i completely understand the level of negativity, but on a rational level, I realise it's just the depressed mind. I don't agree though, I get that you might start to feel a bit more self conscious about age as you get older. I honestly think it's your depressed attitude that is the bigger barrier in life - people are more repelled by the negativity than the age. Nobody said life is easy, I mean death is something everyone will be afflicted by it's all a matter of how people cope with it. There is no use worrying about things you can't control, we have to embrace reality and deal with it in constructive ways... most people don't dwell on these kinds of things and if you really want to be free from suffering, it doesn't help to be dwelling on it. Everyone is different and has their own coping mechanisms. Focus on what you can control - worry about those things and empty the mind of the irrelevant beyond your control.

[Orwell20]

Originally Posted by Moksha

That's the worst thing about getting older - the loss of hope. When you are young, even if you are unhappy (which I was), you still have energy and time. You still believe that, maybe, things will work out. And you feel like you are moving towards something. After 40, that all goes. You realise you aren't going anywhere any more except that old people's home and then a coffin. I suppose that's why people have kids. They can then feed off of their energy and hope.

Yeah, loss of hope. That’s really the essence of ageing. That and a creeping numbness - a sense that nothing really matters, that nothing is even real. When you are young, the world seems so intensely there. Everything is more vivid and intense - colours, sounds, etc. And everything you do seems to matter. The highs are higher (not that I had any highs) and the lows are lower (plenty of them). In my experience (don’t know if this is true for others), once you get into your late 30s and early 40s the world no longer seems so real. I find it hard to take anything seriously now. It’s like everything is a joke. I feel detached, numb, almost like I am watching a tedious movie that I have seen before.

I was considering therapy the other day, but then I thought “what’s the point...I am over 40 now. It’s not like things are going to get any better...it’s too late.” I really hate it when people trot out the old “it’s never too late” cliche. Truth is it often IS too late. It’s too late to be young and carefree and happy, too late to go away to university and spread my wings and all that, too late to start a young family and build a life with someone, etc.

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by HermannHesse

It's not so much a social issue. Even if one were to spend ones last in a palace with servants, the pitiful ending of one's pitiful journey will be - in all ways that it matters - much the same. In fact, dying neglected and alone in an nursing home - which is really just the method we adopt for covering up the pointlessness of life, and for the administrative processing of lived life into biological waste - is probably as good as any other way of going.

There is no real dignity or value to ageing. That is a bitter pill to swallow, and of course can jar with the feelings we have for our older relatives who we so desperately love. But the reality is, they - like us - might well have never been here. It all amounts to nothing but a pool of piss and a final whimper. Life is only useless frustrations, broken dreams, hopes that never find realisation, and feelings that only taunt then disappoint. It is effectively over with at 25, and beyond that there is no hope to be had, though we hold onto the lie of a better day through cowardice and denial. Some people are lucky enough to have sex to pass the time, a few can't even get that.

If we were to see life for what it truly is, we would all work together to dig a city sized hole in the earth and collectively jump into the planet's core, vaporizing the human race in an afternoon in a protest to the heavens against the curse of being born.

I disagree, I think if we all saw life for what it truly is we would be able to live a lot more freely and concentrate on the things that really matter. The current crisis seems to be bringing this in to sharp focus for some people already.

And please stop saying that life is over for people in their twenties, for a lot of us that's when it really begins or even the decade after or the decade after that!

[Dougella]

Originally Posted by Orwell20

Yeah, loss of hope. That’s really the essence of ageing. That and a creeping numbness - a sense that nothing really matters, that nothing is even real. When you are young, the world seems so intensely there. Everything is more vivid and intense - colours, sounds, etc. And everything you do seems to matter. The highs are higher (not that I had any highs) and the lows are lower (plenty of them). In my experience (don’t know if this is true for others), once you get into your late 30s and early 40s the world no longer seems so real. I find it hard to take anything seriously now. It’s like everything is a joke. I feel detached, numb, almost like I am watching a tedious movie that I have seen before.

I was considering therapy the other day, but then I thought “what’s the point...I am over 40 now. It’s not like things are going to get any better...it’s too late.” I really hate it when people trot out the old “it’s never too late” cliche. Truth is it often IS too late. It’s too late to be young and carefree and happy, too late to go away to university and spread my wings and all that, too late to start a young family and build a life with someone, etc.

Lots of men in particular build a life with someone and have children in their 40s, if you're in good health there's no reason not to. I also went to university with quite a few people who were 40 and older, obviously they didn't move away and have the university experience that people have when they're 18 but it was a big change for their lives and a move to a different career/phase of life.

[choirgirl]

I don't know man, I feel somewhat rejuvenated by fear of death myself.