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  #1  
Old 14th May 2019, 17:55
Orwell20 Orwell20 is offline
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Default Have You Ever Been Publically Shamed?

A guy who lives near me recently got caught trying to import a sex doll from China. The adult ones are legal, but the smaller, cheaper ones, which look like pre-pubescent girls, are not. The doll was seized at Heathrow and the police were called. Nothing much happened to him (fine and suspended sentence), but his photo was on the front of the local newspaper !! Can you imagine the shame!

Have you ever been shamed in some way? I mean publically humiliated? I really dread this. Anything from falling over in the street to walking along with my flies undone just kills me. One of the main reasons I avoided fights at school was the fear of shame- it wasn't the fear of physical pain but the fear of losing and being humiliated in front of everyone.
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Old 14th May 2019, 18:05
Percy Percy is offline
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Default Re: Have You Ever Been Publically Shamed?

Of course fear of humiliation is a key element of SA.

I used to get bucket loads of verbal abuse in the area. Have on occasion walked out with my flies undone without realizing it (until I've started to feel a draft). Also used to get a bit of abuse because of my being a long term benefit claimant, local idiots who've been reading too much right wing material basically.
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  #3  
Old 14th May 2019, 18:23
Moksha Moksha is offline
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Default Re: Have You Ever Been Publically Shamed?

Yeah, shame is a massive problem for me. It was worse when I was young. I had several jokes and comments made about me having no social life/never going out, especially when I was at my sixth form college.

Still, some people experience much worse. Someone who lives in a neighboring village to me was caught by a paedophile hunting team. They go on chatrooms posing as underage girls, allow older men to groom them, and then when the guy shows up to meet, they confront him, film the whole thing, hand him over to the police and post the video on youtube. He was in his 30s at the time, never in trouble with the police before, living in an ordinary semi with his parents, etc. The whole thing even made the national papers! This was several years ago, but even now, if you type his name into google (just his name, nothing else!!!), the video of him being caught pops up!!
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Old 14th May 2019, 18:34
Orwell20 Orwell20 is offline
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Default Re: Have You Ever Been Publically Shamed?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Moksha
Still, some people experience much worse. Someone who lives in a neighboring village to me was caught by a paedophile hunting team. They go on chatrooms posing as underage girls, allow older men to groom them, and then when the guy shows up to meet, they confront him, film the whole thing, hand him over to the police and post the video on youtube. He was in his 30s at the time, never in trouble with the police before, living in an ordinary semi with his parents, etc. The whole thing even made the national papers! This was several years ago, but even now, if you type his name into google (just his name, nothing else!!!), the video of him being caught pops up!!
That is exactly what happened to the guy caught importing the sex doll. He was married, 'respectable' etc, but now, if you type his name into google, that article immediately pops up. Even in ten or twenty years his kids, or his new neighbor, or new partner, or whatever, could randomly stumble across the article. Same with the guy you describe. It's a permanent, inescapable shame.
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  #5  
Old 14th May 2019, 22:21
Mr. Nobody Mr. Nobody is offline
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Default Re: Have You Ever Been Publically Shamed?

^
I think it was the fact that the doll looked remarkably like Theresa May, that was the real issue,
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  #6  
Old 15th May 2019, 14:10
Moksha Moksha is offline
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Default Re: Have You Ever Been Publically Shamed?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Percy
Of course fear of humiliation is a key element of SA.
I guess it's really the essence of SA isn't it. Those guys caught chatting to underage girls online...ugghh, god, that is my nightmare. The people who catch them go and confront them on their doorstep, in front of their partner, parents, neighbours, etc. Then they film the whole thing and put it up on youtube for everyone to see. How do you ever recover from that? Same with the guy caught trying to import that sex doll, or men caught viewing child porn. I think I'd end up killing myself if it was me.

The internet is terrifying. If you appear in a newspaper, or someone films you and puts it on a video sharing site, it's 'out there' forever. You never know when it will pop up again. Guys caught viewing child porn or chatting to underage girls never live it down. Like I wrote, this guy who lives near me (I literally drive past his house) was caught trying to meet what he thought was a 14-year-old girl. One of those hunter groups posted the confrontation on youtube, and it's now had 150,000 views, with people commenting from all over the world ("disgusting animal- hang him"...that kind of thing). All you need do is type his name into google and the video pops up. You don't even need to add "groomer" or anything like that.

Another example is men caught posing as war veterans. They buy an old uniform online and then go along to a veteran parade, just to feel like someone for a few hours. It's pathetic really. In the States they call it "stolen valor," and it's quite common - especially men claiming to have fought in Vietnam. Again, there are people who track them down, film the confrontation, and then post the video. There was an incident over here of a guy who'd been posing as a Falkland's vet, presumably to impress his neighbors. It must be awful to be a teenager now. Imagine being in a fight at school, losing, bursting into tears, and then having someone film it on their Iphone and post it. Still, I guess some have a high tolerance to shame. For those with SA, it would be a living hell.
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  #7  
Old 15th May 2019, 15:15
Seagull Seagull is offline
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Default Re: Have You Ever Been Publically Shamed?

I walked out of a winter sea a few years ago, the Velcro fly on my swim shorts having worked it's way fully open in the sea, unbeknown to me. Six or seven people were lined up on the prom directly above watching my Daniel Craig-esque exit from the water. It was the very definition of 'nothing to see here' and I only realised the fly situation when I got to my towel, directly underneath the prom.
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  #8  
Old 15th May 2019, 17:00
gregarious_introvert gregarious_introvert is offline
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Default Re: Have You Ever Been Publically Shamed?

I don't think I've been publicly shamed, more embarrassed and humiliated. It happened regularly in my school days, although that wasn't public, it was within the school, so in front of only 400 people. Despite all the bullying, the most humiliating experience was when someone put acid on my stool in the chemistry lab and it burned through my trousers and underpants, leaving my arse exposed until my parents arrived with replacement clothing (I was made to walk around like that as a punishment for being stupid enough to sit on it).

When I was younger, I had limited control over my bladder, so had some embarrassing moments because of that (I was also a bedwetter until I was 30, but again that wasn't public) and there have been many other instances, like getting arrested in stores (usually because I had a complaint and my autism made me appear more aggressive than I am) or having the police call to my house on the pretext of checking that I'm alive. I deal with the embarrassment much better now, although it's now usually only when I am bent double with stomach pains caused by stress and people are giving me unwanted attention because they're actually being nice!
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  #9  
Old 16th May 2019, 08:11
Laracroft2 Laracroft2 is offline
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Default Re: Have You Ever Been Publically Shamed?

^Thats so awful and very wrong that you were blamed for the prank that could have damaged you, not just your clothes and then forced to expose yourself!!! Im horrified that so called professionals at your school would make those decisions.

My anxiety is strongly based on peeing. My ultimate anxiety nightmare is wetting myself in public. When i was in my 20s, i had to have hypnosis to try to cure my anxiety attacks which were triggered if i wasnt in sight of a public loo. I could be in the middle of a B&Q, in a car, at work but the loo would be occupied, at a cinema blocked in by people etc. Its never happened yet the fear is real.

Also the stomach pains are something I get to. Its the first sympton i get when anxiety strikes and the last to leave. Feels like i have a vice in my solar plexus.
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