Hello everyone:)

[Millynomates]

Hello everyone,

It is great to find a place with like-minded people.
About me: I’ve had social anxiety all my life (only diagnosed 2 years ago) and I was always blaming not having friend on something. I.e. living in a village, not having the perfect figure or even having a too low voice. Looking back I am so happy to know what is wrong. Finally!!!
At one point I’ve decided, f*ck friends, who needs them. BUT I do need them, but I am not really good talking to people face to face. I freeze up and I can feel the difference in how everyone treats me. You know, we don’t have that giggle, that sparkle. I’ve met sooooo many people in my life but I always feel left behind and alone. Some people just wouldn’t even say hi to me. As a result I am getting depressed and I don’t want that to affect my children.
Please if you have any good tips on how to tackle SA please share with me or just have a chat. I don’t expect miracles but would like to do something before my kids find out that their mum is a freak…

[slrrrrp]

Welcome

[Millynomates]

Thank you slrrrrrp

[Millynomates]

I even manage to repel people here. That is kind of funny.

[umm]

Hi. I don't really have much by way of tips other than to rethink what it means to have social anxiety. For me, I'd always think of myself as the lowest point on a triangle, but latterly, like you, it's been a bit more of a **** friends approach. I look at it as having high standards, and confirmation of the fact that it's lonely at the top. Some people do make it through though, but not many.

Oh, and I don't think anyone could repel anyone else in six posts. I've spent much longer in far worse company.

[Sky-blue]

Hi Milly

I've not got much advice to offer but I do feel the same way about many of the things you said.

[TTSP]

Welcome Milly!

[MX Man]

Hi milly, your obviously hanging around the wrong people!

[ZooWeeMama]

I wonder if we try too hard with people? I've recently had the "**** friends" attitude due to disrespect/disloyalty etc. If only we could replace the relationships that aren't working for us. Taking time out is good, but I don't know why I need time out when others don't. I start off all strong in a job but being sensitive you notice all the tiny things, and start becoming resentful towards people for being unpleasant. How do you care less about these people you really should care less about? I don't know either. Are other people just playing the game, being two-faced?

[[Martin]]

Nah you're not a freak Milly I got a late diagnosis too and went through a f**k friends stage - I'm thinking probably a fair few people here did. Tips? I think maybe just practice making friends here and be prepared to put in a bit of work as it ain't always easy.

Yep....I'm not good with advice

Anyway, welcome to you

[Princess39]

Heya..I'm too drunk to offer any advice atm..I'll get back to you on that one..but you're not a freak!

[Millynomates]

Thank you so much for your kind messages!!!
I will give friendship an other try. Nice and slow here perhaps? :-)

[Millynomates]

Originally Posted by umm

Hi. I don't really have much by way of tips other than to rethink what it means to have social anxiety. For me, I'd always think of myself as the lowest point on a triangle, but latterly, like you, it's been a bit more of a **** friends approach. I look at it as having high standards, and confirmation of the fact that it's lonely at the top. Some people do make it through though, but not many.

Oh, and I don't think anyone could repel anyone else in six posts. I've spent much longer in far worse company.

Dear umm,

I love you idea of the lonely top and I am longing to agree with it.

[Millynomates]

Originally Posted by MX Man

Hi milly, your obviously hanging around the wrong people!

Dear MX Man,
You could be right.

[Millynomates]

Originally Posted by ZooWeeMama

I wonder if we try too hard with people? I've recently had the "**** friends" attitude due to disrespect/disloyalty etc. If only we could replace the relationships that aren't working for us. Taking time out is good, but I don't know why I need time out when others don't. I start off all strong in a job but being sensitive you notice all the tiny things, and start becoming resentful towards people for being unpleasant. How do you care less about these people you really should care less about? I don't know either. Are other people just playing the game, being two-faced?

Dear ZooWeeMama,

Do you enjoy what you do? I used to try to pretend that it was OK that the others went for lunch but didn't ask me, or that some people rejected me or called me special. IT IS NOT ALL RIGHT! So I am not sure what you mean by tiny things, but you are right to be resentful if they are unpleasant! Hugs.

[Millynomates]

Originally Posted by Wraith of Coffeeville

Nah you're not a freak Milly I got a late diagnosis too and went through a f**k friends stage - I'm thinking probably a fair few people here did. Tips? I think maybe just practice making friends here and be prepared to put in a bit of work as it ain't always easy.

Yep....I'm not good with advice

Anyway, welcome to you

Dear Wraith of Coffeeville,

That is a good advice. At least here we all know that the other one may need a bit of time.

I am different, and finally I can admit that. Would be easier with a sign on my forehead, to warn people.

[Millynomates]

Originally Posted by Princess39

Heya..I'm too drunk to offer any advice atm..I'll get back to you on that one..but you're not a freak!

Dear Princess39,

Hope you had a great time.

[umm]

Millynomates, that's very considerate of you, to reply to everyone like that Salute! Acclaim!, etc.

[Millynomates]

Originally Posted by umm

Millynomates, that's very considerate of you, to reply to everyone like that Salute! Acclaim!, etc.

Thank you so much. Trying to be friendly.

[wozza1]

hi milly

I sort of know how you feel hun chin up

[Millynomates]

[QUOTE=wozza1;1946591]hi milly

I sort of know how you feel hun chin up[/QUOT

Dear Wozza,

Thank u, I am under the impression most people here know and that is great!

So nice to meet u all.

[overthinker]

Originally Posted by Millynomates

Hello everyone,

It is great to find a place with like-minded people.
About me: I’ve had social anxiety all my life (only diagnosed 2 years ago) and I was always blaming not having friend on something. I.e. living in a village, not having the perfect figure or even having a too low voice. Looking back I am so happy to know what is wrong. Finally!!!
At one point I’ve decided, f*ck friends, who needs them. BUT I do need them, but I am not really good talking to people face to face. I freeze up and I can feel the difference in how everyone treats me. You know, we don’t have that giggle, that sparkle. I’ve met sooooo many people in my life but I always feel left behind and alone. Some people just wouldn’t even say hi to me. As a result I am getting depressed and I don’t want that to affect my children.
Please if you have any good tips on how to tackle SA please share with me or just have a chat. I don’t expect miracles but would like to do something before my kids find out that their mum is a freak…

Hi Milly
Welcome to the forum. I just joined a few weeks ago. Not sure I've got any tips but I understand a lot of what you are feeling. I can get down sometimes and I have children too but they have turned out fine, well adjusted and have lots of friends Hope this site helps you.

[Millynomates]

Originally Posted by overthinker

Hi Milly
Welcome to the forum. I just joined a few weeks ago. Not sure I've got any tips but I understand a lot of what you are feeling. I can get down sometimes and I have children too but they have turned out fine, well adjusted and have lots of friends Hope this site helps you.

Hi Ovrethinker,

Thank u.:-) that is really helpful. I hope it will be the case and also that my SA was caused by my childhood. How old are your children?

[overthinker]

Originally Posted by Millynomates

Hi Ovrethinker,

Thank u.:-) that is really helpful. I hope it will be the case and also that my SA was caused by my childhood. How old are your children?

You sound like a lovely mum . My children are late teens now. How old are yours?

[Millynomates]

[QUOTE=overthinker;1947153]You sound like a lovely mum . My children are late teens now. How old are

Thank you.:-) my girls are 9 and 4, and my son is 1. They mean the world to me or they are my world really. I worry about them missing out on experiences because of my SA. But it is nice hear that you don't think it affected your children.

[Custard_cream]

Hi Milly,

Welcome to the forum.

[Millynomates]

Originally Posted by Custard_cream

Hi Milly,

Welcome to the forum.

Dear Custard cream,

Thank you.:-)

[Millynomates]

Originally Posted by overthinker

You sound like a lovely mum . My children are late teens now. How old are yours?

Oh and great name by the way. Sums it all up!

[MrDan]

Welcome to the forum Milly. You certainly have an enthusiastic vibe.

[Millynomates]

Originally Posted by MrDan

Welcome to the forum Milly. You certainly have an enthusiastic vibe.

Dear MrDan, thank u. I am a forever optimist despite all the rejections in my life.:-)