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  #31  
Old 12th October 2009, 22:41
Angel 123 Angel 123 is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Thanks for all this advice

I've got an interview next week which includes a 5 min powerpoint presentaton, so this guide will be invaluable to me in the next few days
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  #32  
Old 12th November 2009, 00:17
Cynic Cynic is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

I did a presentation in my computer maintenence class this evening discussing and comparing Operating Systems. 'twas a piece of piss!

I've only done one presentation before that and that was a few years ago in psychology, and despite shitting bricks I scored 62%! Ironically that presentation back then was about stress!
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  #33  
Old 18th November 2009, 19:10
Raks Raks is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Nice work black_mamba, impressive must of taken you ages to write! the pic of yoshi was the best bit
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  #34  
Old 20th November 2009, 20:41
Cookie-Monster Cookie-Monster is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

I've done quite a few presentations and each time it gets worse. There are just so many ways to monumentally humiliate and make an ass of yourself when in that situation.
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  #35  
Old 16th December 2009, 20:28
Gibbs Gibbs is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

This is a great guide.

I had a presentation at uni. We had 10 mins to prepare a 3 min presentation. When it was my turn i struggled to speak, i was going red and shaking i couldn't think what to say. My lecturer told it was the worst he had ever seen which made me feel even worse.

I was determined to overcome it as i didn't want this to restrict my opportunities in life. I practised like mad and i even practised in front of my mum and brother which was also terrifying!
But it was the practice that enabled me to slow down and learn to concentrate on the topic rather than myself and my feelings.

When you have the practice behind you it becomes easier but sometimes in life these public speaking situations dont always come along on a regular basis.

So i always feel like starting at square one when it comes round again!
I will remember to look at this post next time it comes round.

thanks
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  #36  
Old 18th December 2009, 23:52
Optimistic Optimistic is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gibbs
When you have the practice behind you it becomes easier but sometimes in life these public speaking situations dont always come along on a regular basis.

So i always feel like starting at square one when it comes round again!
I will remember to look at this post next time it comes round.
Just wanted to say there are public speaking organisations around that do help keep it up and get to a point where you don't feel like your starting again next time. Imo, one of them is toastmasters and they are international. Just a thought.
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  #37  
Old 26th December 2009, 18:41
black_mamba black_mamba is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Really glad that so many people are finding this guide useful. I thought perhaps it'd not be focused enough on the SA side, but then again I'm no psychology professional! I did the best I could, and it seems to have worked for some of you.
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  #38  
Old 3rd February 2010, 20:39
jayhammy jayhammy is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Public Speaking

Used to do loads of it at an uni when I did presentations a few years ago but since then not much, its better when someones doing it with you. I always find try and keep your hands open your head up and make sure your prepared notes and stuff and try and involve them. I did try and write once on a white board and it just resembled scribbles so just left that bit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  #39  
Old 18th February 2010, 16:53
hardy hardy is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Well i dont find presentations or lecturing too difficult because I know what i'm going to say in advance .
Now ask me to chat spontaneously and thats when I get scared ( often)

Tip for presntations . concentrate on explaining clearly NOT on what YOU look like. If you make a mistake its no crime. just think about how to repeat that fact so as to clarify it.

Youre judged ( if youre judged at all) mostly on your clarity not on your nerves except if it leads to awkward mannerisms .
Sometimes even over confident presenters are not good because they make distracting movements
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  #40  
Old 14th June 2010, 21:35
Superfred Superfred is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Haven't done public speaking to know if it's an issue for me but I just checked this out and I have say thank you to BM for doing this. Excellent work
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  #41  
Old 13th October 2010, 21:56
loner1 loner1 is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

wheni went to university i started doing so many presentations in the class that i have got used to it. i even ask to go first sometimes! its in my best interest to get used to it. well done for starting. that is progress :-D
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  #42  
Old 23rd February 2011, 20:11
teabelly teabelly is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Just wanted to say a huge thank you to Black Mamba - what an amazing find for me! I have three presentations coming up between March and May at Uni, between 15 and 20 minutes long. You have a very clear and informative way of writing and I feel a hundred times better about the whole thing just knowing I can pop back here and re-read your guide. I think you should publish it! Well done, and thank you again.
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  #43  
Old 9th March 2011, 22:10
black_mamba black_mamba is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Quote:
Originally Posted by teabelly
Just wanted to say a huge thank you to Black Mamba - what an amazing find for me! I have three presentations coming up between March and May at Uni, between 15 and 20 minutes long. You have a very clear and informative way of writing and I feel a hundred times better about the whole thing just knowing I can pop back here and re-read your guide. I think you should publish it! Well done, and thank you again.
I'm so glad it was helpful to you!! And thanks to all who have commented.
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  #44  
Old 25th April 2011, 17:16
MrsBadger MrsBadger is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Thanks for all that. Trouble is I'm so anxious about it no instruction in technique can help. I have to do one next week and am constantly shaking and even throwing up. I have a choice of doing it or losing my job. The latter seems more attarctive right now. I understand the technique but don't want to be seen or looked at or noticed at all.
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  #45  
Old 25th April 2011, 17:23
black_mamba black_mamba is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsBadger
Thanks for all that. Trouble is I'm so anxious about it no instruction in technique can help. I have to do one next week and am constantly shaking and even throwing up. I have a choice of doing it or losing my job. The latter seems more attarctive right now. I understand the technique but don't want to be seen or looked at or noticed at all.
I'm sorry to hear you're so anxious.

If you're so nervous you're throwing up could you not use this as evidence you have a very acute phobia and speak to your employer about asking someone else to do the presentation? I know it might be scary to admit it but perhaps it's the safer option. Plus I'm sure the fact that this presentation is making you ill (and perhaps affecting your ability to do other things at work) will make your case very strong. It would be a sickeningly uncaring boss who would force you to do a presentation if it's make you this ill and then fire you when it doesn't go to plan!
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  #46  
Old 25th April 2011, 17:39
MrsBadger MrsBadger is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Thanks for your kind advice. My line manager said she would talk to the boss and even do the presentation herself. Now she's gone on holiday for a couple of weeks and left me to it. I tried emailing the boss but he just said I have to do it as it's part of my job. I shouldn't have taken the job but I didn't realise how bad I would be until the situation came up.

I think all I can do now is not turn up and then get a doctor's letter - if I can get one!
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  #47  
Old 25th April 2011, 17:46
no0ne no0ne is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

you don't have to do anything in life you don't want to. tell your boss you're not doing it it's affecting your health. make sure you do go to your doctor and explain what's going on so it is on your medical files make sure they are aware of all the effects this is having on you.

it's a bit like your boss sending you on a nut tasting course and you telling him of a nut allergy but him telling you you have to go.

your boss is a tit.
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  #48  
Old 25th April 2011, 17:48
black_mamba black_mamba is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsBadger
Thanks for your kind advice. My line manager said she would talk to the boss and even do the presentation herself. Now she's gone on holiday for a couple of weeks and left me to it. I tried emailing the boss but he just said I have to do it as it's part of my job. I shouldn't have taken the job but I didn't realise how bad I would be until the situation came up.

I think all I can do now is not turn up and then get a doctor's letter - if I can get one!
I would strongly advise to make sure the boss knows you are already ill. Sudden illness on the day might look bad. Either make out it's an unrelated sickness or tell him directly it is the thought of the presentation that's making you feel sickly. There is no way he can fire you if you tell him the truth, although if you just don't turn up and struggle to get a doctor's note then that could cause problems if they're expecting a presentation and you're not there.

It's a horrible situation I know. Maybe next time you could use beta blockers to calm the physical symptoms? Some doctors will prescribe them for situational anxiety like interviews and presentations. That's how I got over the initial nerves that were making me shake, stutter and feel faint and dizzy. At that point you can put this guide into practice without physical symptoms getting in the way.

Good luck.
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  #49  
Old 25th April 2011, 17:49
black_mamba black_mamba is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Quote:
Originally Posted by BFG
your boss is a tit.
Yeah he sounds like an arse. No leeway whatsoever.
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  #50  
Old 25th April 2011, 17:50
MrsBadger MrsBadger is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

You are absolutely right. Thanks! A good analagy with the nuts. Also, nobody would force an arachnophobic to pick up a tarantula!
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  #51  
Old 25th April 2011, 17:51
black_mamba black_mamba is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

LOL nut tasting why did I automatically think of bollock tasting?!
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  #52  
Old 25th April 2011, 18:04
MrsBadger MrsBadger is offline
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Smile Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Quote:
Originally Posted by black_mamba
LOL nut tasting why did I automatically think of bollock tasting?!
Haha! At least I'm laughing now. If I end up doing this presentation somehow I will be thinking of my boss being a tit and a bollock tasting course!
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  #53  
Old 25th April 2011, 18:06
black_mamba black_mamba is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsBadger
Haha! At least I'm laughing now. If I end up doing this presentation somehow I will be thinking of my boss being a tit and a bollock tasting course!
Heheheh at least it makes a change from imagining the audience naked!
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  #54  
Old 25th April 2011, 18:09
no0ne no0ne is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Quote:
Originally Posted by black_mamba
LOL nut tasting why did I automatically think of bollock tasting?!



the blokes obviously a bit of a shit manager if he was any good he'd be utilising his employees strengths and would know their weaknesses as well and be able to work around them, not just say do it or your sacked
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  #55  
Old 25th April 2011, 18:11
black_mamba black_mamba is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Maybe her boss is David Brent?
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  #56  
Old 25th April 2011, 18:13
no0ne no0ne is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

^i was thinking of exactly the same person
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  #57  
Old 25th April 2011, 18:16
black_mamba black_mamba is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Haha! My ex boss used to be just like that too. So corporate and unfeeling. Like a robot.
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  #58  
Old 5th June 2011, 14:52
Wings Wings is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

thanks black mamba for this guide, i have a presentation coming up and i'm terrified thankfully propranolol works for me but i'm still nervous. back in school i had some bad experiences with public speaking and i just can't shake it off. even if i'm not nervous, as soon as i remind myself i should be nervous, it hits me.

my topic is "an enlightening client experience" and i've prepared most of my speech but i don't know if i can do it what if i vomit/faint/go mute again
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  #59  
Old 6th June 2011, 20:58
Wings Wings is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

i found this on a website and i thought it was helpful:

"Sorry for the long post (I am actually putting it in a couple
of forums that I had read), but wanted to give some detail
on my experience with propranolol.

I am a 47 year old executive and had a fear of public
speaking that really started in college. One or two bad
experiences – couldn’t catch my breath, turning red,
shaking, etc. However, I was more or less able to work
through it on my own. I did the typical things (practice,
relaxation, etc.) and got to be OK in certain situations, but
there were others that I could never quite handle.

I was getting to the point where I wasn’t as worried about
it and then about five years ago had a very bad experience
presenting in front of a large group of peers. Never saw it
coming – and since then have not been the same. I have
tried therapy, toastmasters, on-line self help remedies,
etc but it has been very debilitating. To the point where I
was making up excuses not to attend meetings or making
career choices to avoid speaking.

Well recently I took a new job, and was promoted very
quickly. And of course, one of the first things I had to do
(which I found out a month ago) was a couple of
presentations to a large group during our annual meeting.
I almost had a panic attack when I heard.

I started with the research again, and on these boards
heard about propranolol. At that point it was my only
hope as I know without it would be utter humiliation. I
scheduled an appointment as quickly as I could (also
ordered some online from one of those Indian pharmacies
just to be safe) and got a prescription.

I tried it several times before and while I practiced.
Sometimes I didn’t notice anything, sometimes I did
notice a calming affect when I practiced. I also tried it in
a couple of client meetings before hand (I wasn’t nervous
for those, just wanted to know what it felt like), but again
didn’t notice much.

The big week came – I had to present on Wednesday and
Friday – and I was a wreck leading up to Wednesday with
extreme anxiety. I even tried some propranolol on
Tuesday to try to calm down, but it really doesn’t help
with the psychological part of anxiety. The morning of my
presentation I took 40mg to start the day, 40mg later in
the morning, and 40mg about 45 minutes before I was on.
It was strange – I was very nervous walking to the front of
the room, but nothing on me shook and when I started to
speak, my voice came out. I was able to concentrate
better when I realized my body wasn’t reacting. It wasn’t
the best presentation (for other reasons – my boss
changed up a bunch of slides just before I started), but I
can live with that very easily – I didn’t embarrass myself.

Thursday I was much less anxious, and on Friday I took
40mg and then 40mg and it went great.

I have to say I am a big believer in this. I have more
presentations coming up as a part of my job and almost
looking forward to them (they are still a pain to do, but I
am not anxious – I will probably be a bit right before, but
I suspect not nearly as bad). The knowledge that even if a
presentation goes bad it’s a bad presentation and not me
embarrassing myself is huge. It has taken a ton off my
shoulders and made me much more comfortable in my
job. A couple of points:

- I really don’t think I needed all of the propranolol I
took. Initially I took too much because I was so nervous. I
did feel a little light headed at one point, but I am very
healthy – I do NOT recommend that much to anyone else.
I really think one dose of 20mg to 40mg would be plenty
- As I continue to do this I plan to continue to wean
down how much I take
- I am still active in toastmasters and do those without
any help. I don’t care if I embarrass myself there (and
haven’t yet – but probably because I don’t care)
- For really big presentations I may consider something
like loranzepram before hand instead of trying to take
propranolol, although worried about affecting my thinking
when I am up front.
(Mon Jan 31 22:20 2011)"

i'm totally relying on it now, propranolol. i know it works but lets hope it works just as well this time
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  #60  
Old 14th June 2011, 23:13
Wings Wings is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

i realise i'm spamming this thread all by myself, but want to vent and don't want to disturb the lounge threads where ppl are actually having a convo....
i spent most of the night googling propranolol and ppl's success stories rather than practising my presentation. also have 2 group exercises tomorrow morning and a written exercise. not sure why i'm nervous when i don't even care about the job. i want to take a pill now but there's the irrational fear i'm never going to wake up. i've been reading self help books in my spare moments all bloody day and i'm still not feeling very calm about it. to take my obsession further i've been watching youtube videos of nervous presenters and news reporters. all because of this silly 5 min presentation

edit: just discovered my old prescription of pillls expire in a month, which means i can't let them go to waste and i might as well take them now
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