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  #91  
Old 23rd December 2014, 04:46
OvercomingSocialAnxiety OvercomingSocialAnxiety is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

I remember showing up for Toastmasters thinking it was just a business networking event. Should have done my research. Networking is one fear I've thankfully overcome over the years, but public speaking was a whole new ball game. I had no time to prepare. You literally have to stand at the front and talk. My subject was when I'd succeeded at something in life, so I just talked about quitting my job and starting an online business. I stammered and ummed all the way through it, and people's eyes bored into my soul. But nobody laughed or jeered. All I got was support, and Im sure if Id gone back the next one would have been better.

If public speaking is a goal of yours (and it should really be for all of us social phobics), then I recommend giving Toastmasters a try. Just maybe ask to watch the first time if you're not ready to jump in the deep end right away.
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  #92  
Old 6th November 2015, 17:30
Wien Wien is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

I was thinking of joining toastmasters actually as I would really very much like to overcome my fear of public speaking, particularly as it will give me the opportunity to regularly practice speaking to people (the 'persistence' dimension of black_mamba's guide).

However, whilst one of the reasons they state for people joining is "overcoming fear of public speaking", it does cite a lot of other reasons, and I fear that it will mainly be people who are already pretty good, but just want to perfect their speaking.

So I wonder whether anyone who has attended can suggest what the environment was like in this regard?
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  #93  
Old 9th November 2015, 09:55
Memory Memory is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wien

However, whilst one of the reasons they state for people joining is "overcoming fear of public speaking", it does cite a lot of other reasons, and I fear that it will mainly be people who are already pretty good, but just want to perfect their speaking.
Yeah, this is what puts me off joining something like Toastmasters.
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  #94  
Old 9th November 2015, 11:42
black_mamba black_mamba is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

If it's any consolation, although I am now confident at public speaking (to a degree) I wouldn't say that those skills and that confidence easily translates into more informal social confidence. It's almost like a completely different set of skills to be able to engage a large audience vs. talk informally.
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  #95  
Old 7th February 2016, 17:21
Ramon Ramon is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

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  #96  
Old 7th February 2016, 17:46
Armadillo Armadillo is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

^ Yeah really helpful. Not only are you less likely to succeed if you avoid public speaking, but it's more about how you look and sound than what you say? Really helpful lol.

I had to do a lot of public speaking in a previous job including twice to a news crew, but my SA wasn't as bad then. I also spent my 20's singing in bands.

I have also done public speaking with bad SA, and the last time was when I performed a handfasting for my best friends. I really thought I was going to poo or vomit waiting to go through, and they had written 4 A4 pages of stuff to be read out!



What you can't see are the 50 or so spectators. I did it, I didn't imagine anyone naked or on the loo, I just concentrated on my friends and the paper in front of me and tried to pretend there was no-one else, made sure I kept my voice strong and steady and smiled all the way through.

I think concentrating on the outcome and why you are up there helps you to focus.

I don't think you need to be good at public speaking to succeed in life and that info-graphic is actually quite insulting!
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  #97  
Old 9th February 2016, 10:15
Ramon Ramon is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

never done a public speech in my life so good job on that^
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  #98  
Old 18th February 2016, 23:59
Dylan W Dylan W is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

I get so nervous in some social settings that I often sit there silent because I'm too nervous to voice my ideas or add my input, especially work meetings. I am expected to give presentation soon in front of a large number of staff members and I'm terrified.
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  #99  
Old 22nd March 2016, 12:33
jouska jouska is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Hope it goes well Dylan
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  #100  
Old 7th August 2016, 17:05
ThatCreativeOne ThatCreativeOne is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

For me I've alway enjoyed given presentations which doesn't really make sense as I have social anxiety. I'd always practice them over and over again and I'd feel confident because I knew word for word what I was going to say so I felt in control of the situation. Where as put me in a social situation with a group of people and I don't handle it well because I don't know what's going to happen! What are other people going to say to me? What will I say back? It causes me alot of anxiety.
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  #101  
Old 7th August 2016, 17:59
D1662 D1662 is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatCreativeOne
I'd feel confident because I knew word for word what I was going to say so I felt in control of the situation. Where as put me in a social situation with a group of people and I don't handle it well because I don't know what's going to happen!
I think you've hit the nail on the head there, if we could actually control or predict other peoples actions there would be nothing to be anxious about, but as it happens we can't, we onlythink we can predict what others will say or how they will react and usually we make an incorrect negative prediction.
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  #102  
Old 7th August 2016, 18:38
ThatCreativeOne ThatCreativeOne is offline
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Default Re: Public Speaking for the Socially Anxious

Yes that's very true D1662. I always predict what I think they might say and what I think they might think of me which really doesn't help. I'm hoping CBT will help me with this.
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