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  #1  
Old 3rd December 2011, 22:28
Bored_idiot Bored_idiot is offline
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Default I am better than everyone

This might seem incredibly odd,

but does anyone else think..

'if i didnt have this social anxiety thing, every girl would love me and every guy would want to be my best friend'?

well i do... i am very arrogant but have social anxiety.

Is anyone else like this? or am i unique?
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  #2  
Old 3rd December 2011, 22:31
daznsaz daznsaz is offline
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

sounds like some kind of interstellar paradox.
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  #3  
Old 3rd December 2011, 22:34
TommyGun TommyGun is offline
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

No I'd still be fugly n stupid.
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  #4  
Old 3rd December 2011, 22:36
Bored_idiot Bored_idiot is offline
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

Quote:
Originally Posted by daznsaz
sounds like some kind of interstellar paradox.
just as i thought...

well when im myself i think this, but as soon as i meet someone else ... BOOM
i am terrified of talking to them and have panic attacks and have a vision of myself as an ugly freak.

But myself, i think i am amazing.
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  #5  
Old 3rd December 2011, 22:43
daznsaz daznsaz is offline
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

well i suppose if you want to impress anyone.yourself is a good place to start.
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  #6  
Old 3rd December 2011, 22:45
Bored_idiot Bored_idiot is offline
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

Quote:
Originally Posted by daznsaz
well i suppose if you want to impress anyone.yourself is a good place to start.
indeed.

I do find it odd though.

I am comfortable with myself, but as soon as other people are involved i feel like im a total dickhead.

Maybe this thread is a good example of that.
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  #7  
Old 3rd December 2011, 22:50
daznsaz daznsaz is offline
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

have you ever had drugs that maybe brought this on?or have you any other reason to explain it.
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  #8  
Old 3rd December 2011, 22:54
Bored_idiot Bored_idiot is offline
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

Quote:
Originally Posted by daznsaz
have you ever had drugs that maybe brought this on?or have you any other reason to explain it.

not really.

possibly the best example of how i am is..

if i look in the mirror, and im the only one in the room i think i look great..

if i look in the mirror and someone else is there, i feel that i look terrible..

was just wondering if this is an odd way to be.
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  #9  
Old 3rd December 2011, 22:57
daznsaz daznsaz is offline
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

no dont think its odd lot of people are like that
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  #10  
Old 3rd December 2011, 23:01
runaway runaway is offline
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

lack of interaction / mixing with people can make us lop-sided people,.. it becomes a case "us" and "them".. we feel separate from everyone and everything.
I think this situation lends itself to a subtle form of megalomania,. becuase we become so marginalised,.. our egos develop in isolation and so can become out of control,..
a bit like the way some animals breeding in an isolated environment with no natural predators etc. become over-sized.
the only way to temper our over-sized opinions of ourselves is perhaps to engage witrh other people more, mix with others in social activities and so get frequent social reality checks.
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  #11  
Old 3rd December 2011, 23:01
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

No, I don't think I'm better than everyone else, but I do think i'm different. I do think I'm unique compared to everyone I have come across.

I see everyone as sheeps, all conforming to the norms, where as I am on the outside, someone brave enough to think and be beyond the norm.

I just do not fit in any where.

I may be wrong, but thats how I see it.

Conformity.... nah, not for me mate.
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  #12  
Old 3rd December 2011, 23:04
Bored_idiot Bored_idiot is offline
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerry302199
lack of interaction / mixing with people can make us lop-sided people,.. it becomes a case "us" and "them".. we feel separate from everyone and everything.
I think this situation lends itself to a subtle form of megalomania,. becuase we become so marginalised,.. our egos develop in isolation and so can become out of control,..
a bit like the way some animals breeding in an isolated environment with no natural predators etc. become over-sized.
the only way to temper our over-sized opinions of ourselves is perhaps to engage witrh other people more, mix with others in social activities and so get frequent social reality checks.

i understand this line of thought. Although i do have to interact with people daily. Although it is a chore for me, as i have learned as soon as i interact with people i weaken myself, whereas if i keepmy self to myself i can continually grow, without reservation.
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  #13  
Old 3rd December 2011, 23:05
daznsaz daznsaz is offline
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

^i can relate to that
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  #14  
Old 3rd December 2011, 23:08
Bored_idiot Bored_idiot is offline
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tricky11
No, I don't think I'm better than everyone else, but I do think i'm different. I do think I'm unique compared to everyone I have come across.

I see everyone as sheeps, all conforming to the norms, where as I am on the outside, someone brave enough to think and be beyond the norm.

I just do not fit in any where.

I may be wrong, but thats how I see it.

Conformity.... nah, not for me mate.
the topic name was more of a way to get people looking at it, although i do feel that way to some extent. i agree with what you say, but if you see yourself the way you do, then is social anxiety not a blessing rather than a hindrence?
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  #15  
Old 3rd December 2011, 23:11
Tricky11
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bored_idiot
the topic name was more of a way to get people looking at it, although i do feel that way to some extent. i agree with what you say, but if you see yourself the way you do, then is social anxiety not a blessing rather than a hindrence?

I don't know, maybe the whole not following the norm, not fitting in, is a by product of social anxiety, or vise versa
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  #16  
Old 3rd December 2011, 23:37
empathy empathy is offline
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

Someone once told me if we don't love ourselves then nobody else would either.

That was said as I lack on relationships and bonding with people but I equally hate myself as much as I hate anything in the world.

I was told how can I expect anybody to like/love me when I don't like/love myself.

I think you feeling the way you do when alone is normal, and maybe when someone else come's into the picture you start attacking yourself for whatever reason. Maybe it is how others are around you? Maybe you pick up on their body language? I'm not too sure but maybe you should try to identify what makes you to feel the way you do when someone is around.
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  #17  
Old 3rd December 2011, 23:47
ghost.of.an.englishman ghost.of.an.englishman is offline
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

Well, I think it's quite brave of you OP to articulate such a strange and, let's face it, ugly aspect of suffering from anxiety in such an honest way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerry302199
lack of interaction / mixing with people can make us lop-sided people,.. it becomes a case "us" and "them".. we feel separate from everyone and everything.
I think this situation lends itself to a subtle form of megalomania,. becuase we become so marginalised,.. our egos develop in isolation and so can become out of control,..
a bit like the way some animals breeding in an isolated environment with no natural predators etc. become over-sized.
the only way to temper our over-sized opinions of ourselves is perhaps to engage witrh other people more, mix with others in social activities and so get frequent social reality checks.
Though ^ this hits the nail on the head. Isolation can warp your thinking about lots of things. I don’t think I’ve indulged this “subtle form of megalomania” since I was about 16, and I’m under no illusion now that I’m not that attractive, not that talented, not that clever, though the “us and them” thinking can be very sticky, and you’ll hear it a lot from anxiety sufferers (including me at times).
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  #18  
Old 3rd December 2011, 23:47
Bored_idiot Bored_idiot is offline
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

Quote:
Originally Posted by empathy
Someone once told me if we don't love ourselves then nobody else would either.

That was said as I lack on relationships and bonding with people but I equally hate myself as much as I hate anything in the world.

I was told how can I expect anybody to like/love me when I don't like/love myself.

I think you feeling the way you do when alone is normal, and maybe when someone else come's into the picture you start attacking yourself for whatever reason. Maybe it is how others are around you? Maybe you pick up on their body language? I'm not too sure but maybe you should try to identify what makes you to feel the way you do when someone is around.
i pick up on body language a lot... if someone talks to me with arms folder im disengaged.

i suppose its more than can be answered on a forum how i am, but it can only help.

And thank you.
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  #19  
Old 3rd December 2011, 23:55
Bored_idiot Bored_idiot is offline
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

Quote:
Originally Posted by no-moving-lines
Well, I think it's quite brave of you OP to articulate such a strange and, let's face it, ugly aspect of suffering from anxiety in such an honest way.



Though ^ this hits the nail on the head. Isolation can warp your thinking about lots of things. I don’t think I’ve indulged this “subtle form of megalomania” since I was about 16, and I’m under no illusion now that I’m not that attractive, not that talented, not that clever, though the “us and them” thinking can be very sticky, and you’ll hear it a lot from anxiety sufferers (including me at times).
thanks ive had this for years now, and have lost all my friends, and you are probably right.. i am a megalomaniac.

i feel horrible around people and the worst thing is when someone initially seems to like me i just let them down..

best think i done was starting learning music and i have never looked back
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  #20  
Old 4th December 2011, 00:11
empathy empathy is offline
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

I also pick up on body language which is why I mentioned it. It even gets to the point where it would change my point of view about the person.

I'm not psycic (like a lot of people I talk to assume) but I have a habit of reading people like a book. I spoke to my therapist about it and she asked if I find I'm usually wrong about the person, and I then realised I'm hardly ever wrong.

I have tried to stop over analysing things but its my way of making sense of the world.
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  #21  
Old 4th December 2011, 00:43
ghost.of.an.englishman ghost.of.an.englishman is offline
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bored_idiot
thanks ive had this for years now, and have lost all my friends, and you are probably right.. i am a megalomaniac.

i feel horrible around people and the worst thing is when someone initially seems to like me i just let them down..

best think i done was starting learning music and i have never looked back
I don't think you're a megalomaniac, but I think Jerry was on to something when he said the isolation that comes with SA can distort our thinking like this. I would guess that SA sufferers are especially prone to seeing "people" as bullying and competitive, and ourselves as distant from that, kinder and better (which is my favourite way of thinking I'm better than everyone). Therapists are good at helping thoughts like this to surface, and then helping you to see they're unbalanced and distorted, so I find talking to my CBT therapist about topics like this very helpful.
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  #22  
Old 4th December 2011, 11:51
Rich Notts Rich Notts is offline
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerry302199
lack of interaction / mixing with people can make us lop-sided people,.. it becomes a case "us" and "them".. we feel separate from everyone and everything.
I think this situation lends itself to a subtle form of megalomania,. becuase we become so marginalised,.. our egos develop in isolation and so can become out of control,..
a bit like the way some animals breeding in an isolated environment with no natural predators etc. become over-sized.
the only way to temper our over-sized opinions of ourselves is perhaps to engage witrh other people more, mix with others in social activities and so get frequent social reality checks.
Yup nail head etc

I had this brutally brought home recently, this person who I was completly convinced was a selfish lazy self absorbed person confronted me about something and it turned out she'd been the nicest person I've know for a while, she had been inviting me places doing things for me that I had taken for granted and her lazy actions where there but mirrored by my own in other areas.
I was so convinced she was the devil or something and in reality I'd being building people up as "monsters" so I could knock em down.
When I had SA I did this alot (subconciously) and I did it because I couldn't interact with them so I would make them terrible people and myself brilliant to prove that they were in the wrong, I thought I'd stopped doing it after my CBT but it seems my brain is still doing it and selectivly ignoring the positive aspects of people just so I can be better then them.
It sucks and is actually a real hinderance to recovery
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  #23  
Old 4th December 2011, 12:10
daznsaz daznsaz is offline
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Default Re: I am better than everyone

^i do that thinking im a good judge of character and thinking less of others.but dont think i try and make out im the better person.its hard because a lot of people are divs but i think SA tars everyone with the same brush for convenience.
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