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  #31  
Old 27th May 2013, 00:58
Medea Medea is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Old.
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  #32  
Old 27th May 2013, 01:42
T T is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

My bodyclock is all over the show at the mo.... one day i'm tired all day and now i'm wide awake at 1am
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  #33  
Old 27th May 2013, 19:33
claire 74 claire 74 is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

as much as I prefer being back at work, less time to think, this bank holiday has gone too quick
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  #34  
Old 27th May 2013, 20:11
daveysurfy daveysurfy is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

i feel a bit better today but my muscles still reallybache, gonna have a nice radox bath methinks and listen to kermode
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  #35  
Old 27th May 2013, 22:24
black_mamba black_mamba is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

I feel like an old woman when I get like this but listening to radio in car today and they were playing old 90s tunes, like this, and I said "why can't pop music be like this anymore?!" Typical.

Oh and I broke my foot. Sh*t.

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  #36  
Old 27th May 2013, 22:35
Concept Concept is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Ouch! Hope it isn't too painful.

Today I'm level, stable and content. Happy to drink tea and read.
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  #37  
Old 27th May 2013, 22:43
Concept Concept is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

It's true though. 94-98 drum and bass was the genre at its pinnacle. jump up, grime and clown step does my head in. Neurofunk and IDB ftw.
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  #38  
Old 27th May 2013, 22:52
black_mamba black_mamba is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Thanks for well wishes. I'm annoyed as my energy levels were just starting to pick up and now I'm on crutches for over a month[ish?]

Arrghh can't we just all build a time machine and set it for some random warehouse rave circa 1994? Who can build a time machine here?
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  #39  
Old 28th May 2013, 00:06
black_mamba black_mamba is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

^Yes I was tempted to say we prefer the music we grew up with but it can't be that simple. A lovely comment left on YouTube regarding a 90s song:

"Man I miss these times, back when music was pensive, melancholic and contemplative. At least there were songs in minor key. Makes you think and transports you away. Especially with UK artists, very gritty and expressive. Nowadays its all cheery, about partying, bottles, glasses, stacks and candy in the sky melodies."

I don't doubt that there are indeed good, melancholic modern bands about (Arcade Fire?) but they seem not to be played as often as the "partying" music on all the major radio stations. I remember hearing lots of Queen and Radiohead on Radio 1 in the 90s, or was I imagining things?
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  #40  
Old 29th May 2013, 00:37
Concept Concept is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Awesome stuff. Who'd you see?
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  #41  
Old 29th May 2013, 02:39
Saponara_Immobile Saponara_Immobile is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

think i'm going through the start of another major depressive episode, haven't been this low for months.
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  #42  
Old 29th May 2013, 14:43
claire 74 claire 74 is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

tired, back hurts, want to go straight to bed when get home from work
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  #43  
Old 29th May 2013, 18:39
Saponara_Immobile Saponara_Immobile is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by M△N‡NTHΞB⬛X
bit sleepy,not particularly alert. just started mirtazapine.



sorry to hear that man sounded like things were picking up a bit, a little while back.
cheers. yeah they were but I've had a horrible few days where I can't even face the basics let alone the things I was planning, and my mental state is the worst in a while.

I feel in a really dark, hopeless place right now. This time last year I was getting my life back on track by getting into the world of work again, albeit voluntary but after being really suicidal around xmas I didn't go back in the new year and have been working towards going back since. The fact that I was getting better recently was good but no matter how I improved I still couldn't face going back (or going on a date/meetups etc) and so I don't know where to turn to now and this knowledge that I've gone so backwards in a year has sent me spiraling into a deep depression again. I know it's all a vicious cycle, but it's one I can't seem to break. I want to do a course in september relating to my voluntary stuff but if I can't go back now I don't know how I'll be able to face that.

I guess the only crumb of comfort is that I don't feel quite as bad as I did a few months ago but I'm not far off (wouldn't even have been able to type this much back then).
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  #44  
Old 29th May 2013, 20:38
PussyRiot PussyRiot is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

I am freezing. Debating whether to put the heating on. Apart from that, I feel strangely positive and chilled.
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  #45  
Old 30th May 2013, 07:20
dear wolf dear wolf is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Pointless and old. Everything I do or say is just... crap. I try to not take things too seriously, like posting on here for example, but somehow my posts feel like an indictment of my rubbishness as a person. I can't even read them, they're all gibberish anyway. Sound like such a twat all the time. And that's just one example, my epic mediocrity extends to all areas of my life.

black_mamba's recent thread on 'play' was a good kick up the bum, a reminder of something I valued highly in the past. I had quite a playful, random sense of humour which I seem to have misplaced along the way. I remember exactly ten years ago a newish friend of mine said he liked that I didn't need alcohol to be a bit lively and funny. Also painting was/is pure play for me but I can't escape the fact that I'm dissatisfied with everything I've painted this year... there's that crapness again.
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  #46  
Old 30th May 2013, 08:15
black_mamba black_mamba is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

^What sort of painting do you do? I just trashed about 10 paintings on canvases because I thought they were shite.
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  #47  
Old 30th May 2013, 09:54
dear wolf dear wolf is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Oh at the moment I just do stupid graffiti stuff (legally). Been doing it since I was a teenager so it's hard to change now, even though I occasionally try to take up grown up things like ceramics or printmaking - I'm the type of person who has to be all-in, I can't do two things at once. Sorry I'm rambling now, probably derailing the thread a bit too.

Yeah I remember you writing about your paintings. If you're struggling just shamelessly copy something from another painter, Picasso was right that great artists steal. It'll get you rolling and your interpretations will eventually become your own thing, part of your style. Probably... as if I know what I'm on about, don't listen to me.
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  #48  
Old 30th May 2013, 12:15
black_mamba black_mamba is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by dear wolf
Oh at the moment I just do stupid graffiti stuff (legally). Been doing it since I was a teenager so it's hard to change now, even though I occasionally try to take up grown up things like ceramics or printmaking - I'm the type of person who has to be all-in, I can't do two things at once. Sorry I'm rambling now, probably derailing the thread a bit too.

Yeah I remember you writing about your paintings. If you're struggling just shamelessly copy something from another painter, Picasso was right that great artists steal. It'll get you rolling and your interpretations will eventually become your own thing, part of your style. Probably... as if I know what I'm on about, don't listen to me.
Haha@grown up things. Up until recently the only things I drew were video game characters.

Your advice is spot on that's what I've been doing, copying other artists compositions and adding my own twist on them (totally by accident though). I have some acrylic spray cans and fantasise about being a famous street artist when I use them.

Legal graffiti is cool. Have you ever seen any nice reverse/clean graffiti? I think it's f'ing beautiful!



Quote:
Originally Posted by Geddalexneil
Sorry to make consecutive posts in this thread (It has been 24 hours) but I am feeling on top of the world: I am just back from one of the best gigs I have seen in my life, I've been chatting to people all evening, I even hatched a conspiracy during the interval to help get our section of the crowd on their feet for the second half - and I met someone who knows the band.

I shouldn't really be posting in 30+ because I feel 21 again!
Sounds brilliant! Keep going and you might get to a stage where you can feel 21 more often.

What was the conspiracy I have to know.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kramer
...this knowledge that I've gone so backwards in a year has sent me spiraling into a deep depression again. I know it's all a vicious cycle, but it's one I can't seem to break. I want to do a course in september relating to my voluntary stuff but if I can't go back now I don't know how I'll be able to face that.

I guess the only crumb of comfort is that I don't feel quite as bad as I did a few months ago but I'm not far off (wouldn't even have been able to type this much back then).
Oh god I know what it's like to make huge strides and then berate yourself for going back a step. It's normal and part of the process to take several steps forward then sometimes a few back, I suppose that's the nature of progress. You're doing great and volunteering is so good for the soul and mind.

Does your volunteering supervisor/boss know about your situation? They might surprise you with their empathy, and support you in going back in a way that's comfy for you (a little at a time, for example).
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  #49  
Old 30th May 2013, 12:17
PussyRiot PussyRiot is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Feeling a bit pensive, anxious today. Feels like a long day. Just got to get through it and stay positive.
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  #50  
Old 30th May 2013, 12:52
davehedgehog davehedgehog is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

not sure why but i've decided i've had enough of television, rearranged my lounge and i couldn't get it to work with the tv where it had to go, simple answer ditch the tv, was quite tempted to throw it off my balcony.

no more idiot box for me.
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  #51  
Old 30th May 2013, 13:19
black_mamba black_mamba is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by BFG
not sure why but i've decided i've had enough of television, rearranged my lounge and i couldn't get it to work with the tv where it had to go, simple answer ditch the tv, was quite tempted to throw it off my balcony.

no more idiot box for me.
Join the club!
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  #52  
Old 30th May 2013, 13:34
davehedgehog davehedgehog is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by black_mamba
Join the club!


just thought of another reason not to chuck it off balcony... my cars parked at the bottom.
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  #53  
Old 30th May 2013, 14:06
dear wolf dear wolf is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by black_mamba
Have you ever seen any nice reverse/clean graffiti? I think it's f'ing beautiful!
Not in person, unless you count the various things written on the back of white vans. I thought about doing some myself with a marker filled with water and heavy duty cleaning fluid, I haven't got the means for sandblasters and whatnot (not that you need one, there are different techniques I think)
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  #54  
Old 30th May 2013, 14:10
Rocket Spud Rocket Spud is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by dear wolf
Not in person, unless you count the various things written on the back of white vans. I thought about doing some myself with a marker filled with water and heavy duty cleaning fluid, I haven't got the means for sandblasters and whatnot (not that you need one, there are various techniques I think)
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  #55  
Old 30th May 2013, 14:59
black_mamba black_mamba is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by dear wolf
Not in person, unless you count the various things written on the back of white vans.
Haha that counts in my book.
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  #56  
Old 30th May 2013, 21:42
Rocket Spud Rocket Spud is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

^ Sounds like a good plan, Tabitha

Feeling uptight for little apparent reason :/ Pisses me off when this happens. Got me a chamomile to redress the balance.
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  #57  
Old 30th May 2013, 22:01
davehedgehog davehedgehog is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

^^ great idea tabitha, i've got three bikes now. i think i might be addicted


actually four if you count exercise bike.
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  #58  
Old 1st June 2013, 20:59
Reptillian Reptillian is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by no-one75
old. and tired.
tired, old and grumpy!
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  #59  
Old 1st June 2013, 21:11
Rocket Spud Rocket Spud is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

Glum.
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  #60  
Old 1st June 2013, 22:47
Saponara_Immobile Saponara_Immobile is offline
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Default Re: The 30+ how are you feeling thread

^ hope you feel better soon Woof

Quote:
Originally Posted by black_mamba

Oh god I know what it's like to make huge strides and then berate yourself for going back a step. It's normal and part of the process to take several steps forward then sometimes a few back, I suppose that's the nature of progress. You're doing great and volunteering is so good for the soul and mind.

Does your volunteering supervisor/boss know about your situation? They might surprise you with their empathy, and support you in going back in a way that's comfy for you (a little at a time, for example).
Yeah unfortunately I've gone backwards over the last year but I guess it's self-defeating to think of periods like that which fit in nicely with my negative mindset. A lot of this hasn't been my fault though, I just got unlucky with a certain situation ****ing me up but that part is over now (hopefully for good) so maybe I can still get better from now on.

My boss lady doesn't know that much about me, but she was sympathetic when I mumbled something about health problems to her as the reason I didn't go in. She said she'd be in contact at a certain point but wasn't so it's been on me to initiate things, I just haven't been able to face it.

I keep thinking it's sunday today. Which is annoying but then nice in a way as I get an extra day before I have to go on this week long 9-5 A4E course, not looking forward to that at all but it might be good for me if it means I can get into a normal sleeping pattern and give me a bit of structure to work with. (was gonna put this bit in the "thinking" thread but can't find it, guess that means I missed some drama...)
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