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  #31  
Old 25th June 2016, 00:11
El Dave-O El Dave-O is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

Not as much, cause my main hobby at the moment is board games, and you don't have to be young and physically active to play board games with kids.
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  #32  
Old 28th June 2016, 09:35
Coffee Coffee is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

Not even a little bit.

A lot of parents seem almost religious to me. Like they have to keep reinforcing how great it is to help them forget about everything they lost.
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  #33  
Old 4th July 2016, 01:05
GhostOnMagneticTape GhostOnMagneticTape is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

No one should feel obliged to have children, especially women alas many are socially and cultural conditioned to procreate (whether it be for religious, family and peer pressure reasons). Though by all means if you desire to have children that's fine too, each to their own.
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  #34  
Old 4th July 2016, 18:23
lone*star lone*star is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

Are people still having children? To me, producing offspring seems more akin to the animal world rather than highly evolved human beings.
No, I'm afraid my time is far too precious than to have to share it with demanding children. Almost gives me a headache just thinking about it - horrible little things!
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  #35  
Old 7th July 2016, 21:38
Silent Ninja Silent Ninja is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

Not anywhere near as much as never having had a relationship does.
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  #36  
Old 7th July 2016, 22:48
Pink*Lady Pink*Lady is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

Yes and no. I love children and am good with them but I wouldn't want to be a parent with the issues I've got. I enjoy spending time with my nephews and do get a pang of what if sometimes.
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  #37  
Old 9th July 2016, 19:26
FraidyCat FraidyCat is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

I have 1 son and 2 daughters, being a dad is great:

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  #38  
Old 10th July 2016, 21:23
Ramon Ramon is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

I am currently working a photography company, and I have to say I'm fed up with the number of baby pictures. It's nauseating! And these people will do like photos of when they've done the pregnancy test, photos when they've been pregnant, photos with the baby newly born, and then photos following that.

I wish people would take photos of landscapes. Screw family pictures, screw kids pictures, screw baby pictures, pictures of Iceland- my attention is caught.
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  #39  
Old 10th July 2016, 21:25
Ramon Ramon is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

I would go out someone with a kid, I've quite happily played a role of uncle. Children of my own, that can be forgotten.
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  #40  
Old 11th July 2016, 16:18
Ramon Ramon is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

It is definitely a curious phenomenon.
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  #41  
Old 11th July 2016, 21:12
ynwa247 ynwa247 is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

i wouldn't like my kids having anxiety and depression so at least im not passing on the pain, you have to be completely ignorant to ignore family links in depression and i mean literally ignoring it since you live in daydream land, maybe those people aren't depressed in the first place though
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  #42  
Old 7th August 2016, 18:07
D1662 D1662 is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

Yes and no, obviously being gay is a bit of an obstacle, I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a little mini me running around the place, especially when I see my cousins with their kids, but then I think at least if I never have kids I won't make the same mistakes that my parents made with me.
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  #43  
Old 7th August 2016, 18:48
ThatCreativeOne ThatCreativeOne is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

I'm 32 years old and it doesn't bother me that I don't have children yet. It bothers me more that at the moment I don't feel like I'll ever have children because my social anxiety prevents me from meeting someone to have a family with. I hope I will find the confidence to meet new people as I would like a family someday.
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  #44  
Old 7th August 2016, 18:50
Toxic Toxic is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

It still doesnt bother me but now I'm 30 and I'm bravely trying to scan dating sites in the hope I can find someone to put up with me. Every Single Woman has kids..and I have no desire for them ever! Once I put doesnt have and doesnt want in the filter my results tank to 1-2 in a 50 mile radius

Ah...the joys of being an outcast
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  #45  
Old 25th August 2016, 04:10
Danica Danica is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

I never wanted children, mainly because I'm not maternal and partly because of my social anxiety. I've never been in a relationship so it's hard to say whether or not a broody side of my character could've been unlocked with the advent of falling in love. Even though more women are deciding against motherhood, we still live in a society that treats childless/child free women as lesser beings.
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  #46  
Old 25th August 2016, 09:00
subterfuge subterfuge is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

I literally don't think about it about 95% of the time and it doesn't bother me, but every now and again, it hits me hard for just a short amount of time, and I get anxious and upset about it....as if Mother nature is giving me a short, sharp slap in the face
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  #47  
Old 3rd September 2016, 10:02
AnnieLu AnnieLu is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

I have always wanted kids, like a previous poster said I think I was born to be a mother. But at 33, single and with hormonal issues it's not looking likely. And whenever j allow myself to have that realisation its like having a bucket of icy water chucked over me. It hurts and it takes my breath away with panic.

On the other hand, when I'm struggling (like today) I think having kids would be the worst idea ever. I can't even look after myself let alone a child. But then maybe that's the point. Maybe, like many people say, if I had kids to focus on my problems wouldn't be so problematic.

I dunno. Broody as heck over here.
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  #48  
Old 3rd September 2016, 10:59
Scott85 Scott85 is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

No, not at all. Having children just does not interest me.
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  #49  
Old 13th September 2016, 01:48
clash clash is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

Wouldn't have minded a kid but not keen on 4x4's, multitasking mothers, inflatable castles, playgrounds, Harry Potter, paying alimony, buying presents, threatening teachers, having to see ex's etc wouldn't mind adopting an over 30 though late developer or something, someone to alert the council when i snuff it!
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  #50  
Old 13th September 2016, 10:13
misska misska is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

I wanted a child throughout my 20s and had one at 28 im not maternal at all and found it alot harder than I imagined. My issues havnt gone away if anything gone worse because I feel stressed all the time luckily he has a good dad who shares responsibility 50/50 I will be happy when my child is older and I will have someone to do things with
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  #51  
Old 13th September 2016, 22:03
girlinterrupted girlinterrupted is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

Yes,too late to do anything about it now though so (this post aside) I try to do what I do best and avoid and ignore the sad reality
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  #52  
Old 15th September 2016, 12:12
girlinterrupted girlinterrupted is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Garm
Yes. Kids, a family, normality. I'm useless at everything tho so will never happen
Yes it`s not just kids specifically,but not having that wider family unit that I feel sad at missing out on (am an only child of an only child and as for the other side...well let`s not go there ) so no children plus no grandchildren leaves...well,just me,and I suck so that`s not great!
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  #53  
Old 12th October 2016, 14:48
BorrowedMum BorrowedMum is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

I always wanted kids and I had my son 13 years ago. My son died in infancy and I couldn't get pregnant again. This could have quite easily killed me off but I tried a different approach to my childlessness and now I am 'mum' to many, to those who need me for a short while or longer.
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  #54  
Old 16th October 2016, 13:18
jinny jinny is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

^ That must have been so hard for you xx

I think what you do instead is amazing, I look after some 'looked after' children sometimes at work..(I work in a preschool) the start in life they've had is terrible. Sometimes I'd like to foster, but my husband always says a definite 'no'
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  #55  
Old 16th October 2016, 22:10
BorrowedMum BorrowedMum is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by jinny
^ That must have been so hard for you xx

I think what you do instead is amazing, I look after some 'looked after' children sometimes at work..(I work in a preschool) the start in life they've had is terrible. Sometimes I'd like to foster, but my husband always says a definite 'no'
Thanks jinny, yes it was and still is at times, it will never go and to be honest I'm not sure that I would want it to!
I dont blame your other half for saying no, its not an easy decision, my partner took a lot of persuading (though he loves it now -well at times, depends on the child)
Some are a joy others so damaged that it breaks your heart, we just do what we can within the limitations that we have.
I have to admit though that when I have a child here all my own anxieties go out the window and I am never better mentally.
Never give up on the idea though, it might not be practical now but later in life it might be the right thing to do
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  #56  
Old 17th October 2016, 01:10
Leafy Leafy is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

BorrowedMum, sorry to learn that you lost your son. It's wonderful that you're able to help and nurture vulnerable children.
I'm 35 and don't have any maternal feelings because of how I was raised. I was always told that those feelings would just kick in one day. They haven't and I don't think they ever will. Being the age I am, I do feel pressure from society to have children which is difficult because I feel abnormal enough. It's like you can't be 'normal' if you don't have kids. I normally turn the channel on the TV if I see a bouncing baby in a TV advert. Luckily hubby doesn't want children either. I do 'check-in' with him every few months to see if he has changed his mind. He's not paternal at all. We're just happy to be aunt and uncle to our little nephews at the moment :-)
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  #57  
Old 14th November 2016, 15:32
Hayman Hayman is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

I've got mixed feelings over this... I would have liked children when I was in my mid twenties. This was when most of my former peers starting announcing the arrival of children and I was genuinely interested in having them. I felt incredibly left out and still without a girlfriend to my name, even today aged 31, I cannot express how inferior I felt or how inferior others made me feel with comments such as "you need to understand" as if I was still a child.

I know this isn't the case, but I really do feel as though I've categorically 'lost' this particular race and now it's something I don't want to participate in. I know my social anxiety and depression would only be heightened when I wouldn't get the same level of positive attention or congratulations upon the arrival of any children - simply because everyone else has already got kids and 'beaten' me to it many years earlier. It would just confirm what I already know about how others snub me... For this reason alone, I'd rather not bother.

As things stand, it's too late for me as far as I'm concerned. It's another 'boat' that's sailed...and I never even got an invite to board it if I wanted to. I was simply left at the quayside. I'm not interested in being an older parent and knowing I do struggle to deal with myself at times, I've accepted that it's probably for the best that I don't bother anyway.

I'm sorry if this sounds overly negative, but this is how I truly feel over this issue.
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  #58  
Old 8th September 2017, 03:09
choirgirl choirgirl is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

Yes, it does. I had planned not to have them because of my medical issues, and then my life just not being in place, not feeling like an adult in socioeconomic terms, no one to have them with etc, but now I'm 40 I'm starting to feel down about it. Maybe I should try for a year and then give up. I do have wider family though. I don't like the way childless/childfree are treated as lesser beings either.
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  #59  
Old 8th September 2017, 11:07
Ajax Amsterdam Ajax Amsterdam is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

No, not at all.
I've always liked children, but never wanted any of my own. There are a few reasons. Initially it was because having children when younger (I'm 54 now) would have been extremely irresponsible. I was far too messed up to inflict myself on a child, I didn't have the means to support a child properly either. Another reason was that I didn't, and still don't, think the world is such a good place to bring a child into. For many years I actually resented being born and brought into all this. Parents can choose, but the child can't. I was always mindful of that.

Most of the partners I've had did not want children either, so I was never pressured into making a decision to have a child. These days I think I'm stable enough and would possibly make a decent dad, but my partner and I are at an age where it's too late anyway, although neither of us regret it in the slightest. We are happy with our dogs.

Yes, I might be all alone when I'm an old codger, but having children just so I could be looked after in old age would be selfish in the extreme.
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  #60  
Old 15th September 2017, 23:24
SHYGIRLAJB SHYGIRLAJB is offline
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Default Re: Does not having children (in your 30s plus) bother you?

Yes .. I have always wanted children.., but sadly it's a case of if you was going to have any something would have happened by now .,.. Unfortunately the older I get the more bitter I become .... It doesn't help my partner says he doesn't want any children ....
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