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  #31  
Old 20th October 2015, 18:12
Serephina Serephina is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

I found out fairly recently that Samaritans have drop in centres for anyone who does need to or wants to chat to someone face to face rather than on the phone.
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  #32  
Old 20th October 2015, 18:37
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Quote:
Originally Posted by Serephina
I found out fairly recently that Samaritans have drop in centres for anyone who does need to or wants to chat to someone face to face rather than on the phone.
What exactly do they say when you talk to them?

I don't think anything anyone can say could make me feel better.
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  #33  
Old 25th October 2015, 21:37
Z. Z. is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

I don't know why I'm bothering to get further help with my depression. It can't get better. It never will get better. I really do know that, no matter what anybody says. I think I always wanted to because there was a semblance of hope that it could, but that's just wishful thinking. It's far too severe to even improve, and it never has. All of the symptoms are immutable. The anhedonia, the severe low mood - they're part of me.

A family member committed suicide the other day. Of course it runs in the family.

I wish things could have been different, but it can't. I remember a time when I was happy: Primary school. I can at least say that I had a taste of joy during my life, and I am grateful for that, I really am.
I think it's time for me to stop bullshitting though.

I'm going to the doctors sometime this week, because I'm a fool. I obviously haven't learned my lesson yet - a lesson which has taken me years to learn, and which I am only just finally comprehending, and agreeing with.
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  #34  
Old 25th October 2015, 22:00
anxiouslondoner anxiouslondoner is online now
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

^^Sorry you feel this way SuBo. Why not seek help if you have nothing left to lose? It's got to be worth trying to do something before taking the most permanent, irreversable action. It's not inevitable if you don't do it. Please talk to someone in the hope that it will do some good.
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  #35  
Old 25th October 2015, 22:05
Sun Wukong Sun Wukong is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

SuBo, it sounds like you've been through a very difficult time recently. If your feeling desperate please use one of the helplines, they're there to help.
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  #36  
Old 26th October 2015, 21:55
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Thanks for all the responses. I appreciate it
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  #37  
Old 29th October 2015, 02:44
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Pretty interesting documentary:

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  #38  
Old 29th October 2015, 02:55
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

^ Also very interesting to see the scenes in the suicide helpline centre.
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  #39  
Old 31st October 2015, 02:15
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Interesting documentary about life after suicide. I don't like the argument about staying alive for other people. It makes you feel worse. See for yourself whether it endorses that viewpoint.

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  #40  
Old 31st October 2015, 03:44
cordyceps cordyceps is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

I wish I could ****ing go through with it. Pain and the certainty I'd cock it up somehow are all that's stopping me.
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  #41  
Old 31st October 2015, 10:23
LonelyBoy LonelyBoy is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Interesting point.

Every single person who has jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco (they have anti-suicide barriers they installed recently) and survived to tell the tale, says they regretted it IMMEDIATELY, as soon as they lost contact with the bridge and there was no going back. (BTW, survivors are few in number.)
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  #42  
Old 31st October 2015, 10:35
Cognitive Cognitive is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

It may seem cliché, but I can honestly say, taking up mindfulness and meditation guided me out of that dark place. The evidence is not just anecdotal but also scientific. Studies show that meditation and mindfulness can alter the neurochemistry and even structure of the brain.
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  #43  
Old 1st November 2015, 20:31
cordyceps cordyceps is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Quote:
Originally Posted by Luna.
^ Sorry you're feeling so low Cordy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SASSYman_Ian
^^Cordyceps, in the past those were the only things which stopped me (obviously, I did cock it up or I wouldn't be here now) and I'm so glad that I'm still around.

Everyone on here sees the intelligent, witty, caring and lovely person you are, who has so much to offer the world and who should be enjoying life; I hope things will get better for you and that you can find the fulfilment you deserve.

Remember you have friends here and if you have friends, you can conquer anything.
Thank you both very much. Helped, reading that last night. :]
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  #44  
Old 6th November 2015, 05:28
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  #45  
Old 6th November 2015, 05:43
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Also interesting how he explores the gender aspect of suicide, which is something I think is often overlooked.

As he says in the documentary, bottling things up is a classic "male trait", which is true. This is a form of emotional repression which can be devastating.

The reason why 80% of suicide victims are male is because of these things. It is much more permissible for females to open up about their emotions, and thus receive support. When you receive support, it's much easier to cope.
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  #46  
Old 8th November 2015, 12:37
firemonkey firemonkey is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

^ Are there any support agencies that could help you? Or have you already tried them?
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  #47  
Old 8th November 2015, 19:58
Cognitive Cognitive is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Quote:
Originally Posted by SASSYman_Ian
Around here, that's a joke - that's what I have been trying to do with the meetup group, replace the (non-existent) support agencies, but even that has floundered because although I have identified sources of funding, that funding requires a bank account and nobody will put themselves out enough to be the second signatory.

My own problems are car insurance (my car is written off by someone reversing into it but the insurance company offer is derisory and not enough to replace the car, but I have been given a "take it or leave it" ultimatum, meaning either I take the money and have no car, or don't get the car repaired), a fine for driving in a bus lane (when I entered the bus lane to avoid an accident, but because the video doesn't show all angles and is being assessed by a team 175 miles from where it happened who have no idea what driving in London is actually like, I can't prove that I was actually doing the right thing, while these things are no longer decided in a proper court and there is no right of appeal) and eviction because my house needs cleaning (for which I haven't had time because I was trying to sort out the matter about which I can't speak and now is almost impossible because I have a really heavy cold and just don't have the energy to do more than tidy up) - and there is no support agency to help with matters of that sort.
I'm very sorry to read all this Ian. It sounds like you are getting bombarded at the moment. As you know, there are times like this in life. Just have to keep going, as best as you can, and it will get better. Take a little time to do something to relax. I find that when I have lots of problems I'm trying to solve, it can help to step away from the question(s) and then return when you are not feeling so vulnerable.
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  #48  
Old 8th November 2015, 21:03
MrsJones MrsJones is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

I attempted suicide when I hit a really low point after graduating last year. I bought everything I needed for the 'exit bag' method and it proved to be unsuccesful. I waited for 10 minutes with the bag over my head and nothing! I later read articles from Dignitas reporting different timescales for unconsciousness. I will probably try again at some point.

I recently visited my Advanced Nurse Practioner (these people can prescribe psychiatric meds) at a Mental Health Clinic. I told him I was very unhappy about my appearance and that this has been one of the root causes of my depression. His response was perhaps a little tactless considering his profession and his knowledge of my self harming habits/suicidal tendencies: "Very few people are oil paintings. You'll get over it."

*sigh*
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  #49  
Old 8th November 2015, 21:11
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Hope everyone is feeling a little bit better today x
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  #50  
Old 8th November 2015, 21:19
Tiger_Lily Tiger_Lily is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

That's an incredibly unhelpful and insensitive response MrsJones Anyone (particularly a mental health professional) who tells someone to "get over" anything related to mental health shouldn't be in the job in the first place.

I've been wondering if I'm in the beginning stages of depression. Would I know for definite one way or the other? Is it typical for someone to get depression three months after the death of a loved one? Maybe it is. I feel rather flat and emotionless and my typical response to most things these days is "I don't care." I'm still getting up and going to work and dragging myself through each and every day, but mostly, I just don't give a s***.

I recognise that I'm suicidal, and I have been for a short while now. I had fight, and I had determination to push through this and keep going, and for some reason, that's all just left me.

I've been meaning to post in here for a while but I've been putting it off I guess.
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  #51  
Old 8th November 2015, 21:54
Cognitive Cognitive is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Quote:
Originally Posted by HelloSunshine
That's an incredibly unhelpful and insensitive response MrsJones Anyone (particularly a mental health professional) who tells someone to "get over" anything related to mental health shouldn't be in the job in the first place.

I've been wondering if I'm in the beginning stages of depression. Would I know for definite one way or the other? Is it typical for someone to get depression three months after the death of a loved one? Maybe it is. I feel rather flat and emotionless and my typical response to most things these days is "I don't care." I'm still getting up and going to work and dragging myself through each and every day, but mostly, I just don't give a s***.

I recognise that I'm suicidal, and I have been for a short while now. I had fight, and I had determination to push through this and keep going, and for some reason, that's all just left me.

I've been meaning to post in here for a while but I've been putting it off I guess.
I'm sorry to hear this also Sunshine. It certainly is natural to have a delayed reaction to losing a loved one. Any sort of bereavement can take time to surface. I'm sorry I can not offer any better advice, but things can change in a good way and can do so quickly. Just take it slow and be gentle on yourself. Think of what you enjoy doing and make time to do those things. Try not to spend too much time ruminating on sad thoughts/feelings and distract the mind. Anyways, you are not alone.
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  #52  
Old 8th November 2015, 21:56
Z. Z. is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Quote:
Originally Posted by HelloSunshine
That's an incredibly unhelpful and insensitive response MrsJones Anyone (particularly a mental health professional) who tells someone to "get over" anything related to mental health shouldn't be in the job in the first place.

I've been wondering if I'm in the beginning stages of depression. Would I know for definite one way or the other? Is it typical for someone to get depression three months after the death of a loved one? Maybe it is. I feel rather flat and emotionless and my typical response to most things these days is "I don't care." I'm still getting up and going to work and dragging myself through each and every day, but mostly, I just don't give a s***.

I recognise that I'm suicidal, and I have been for a short while now. I had fight, and I had determination to push through this and keep going, and for some reason, that's all just left me.

I've been meaning to post in here for a while but I've been putting it off I guess.
HS That does sound like depression, especially if you're feeling suicidal. We're here for you. I'm here for you This will pass, no matter how moronic that sounds at the moment, but it will. You've been through a lot so it isn't surprising that you're feeling like this.
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  #53  
Old 8th November 2015, 22:04
Tiger_Lily Tiger_Lily is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Thank you Cognitive and SuBo. Your posts have helped, truly

I just hate feeling like this.
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  #54  
Old 8th November 2015, 22:36
Custard_cream Custard_cream is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

DG - it is completely normal to feel the way you do under the circumstances. It does sound like you are depressed. I know its not the same but I lost a close work colleague and yes I can say I loved her, told her everything about how I felt about life. After she died I felt anger, I felt upset and annoyed that others were carrying on as though nothing had happened, I then spent mornings before and evenings after work crying about it then I felt numb. I still don't know what I prefer...the feeling depressed and no point to life or just feeling numb, nothing at all.

If you are feeling depressed, please speak to your doctor. They can offer medication and counselling. It is a difficult process and at times you will feel worse but eventually you will start to feel better. You deserve to be happy DG and things can improve.

Nobody will ever replace Martin, but you will learn to accept things and be happy again in time.

I was very against anti depressants for years, but having found the right one I only wish I had gone on them sooner.

Look after yourself DG and I am here if you want to chat. X
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  #55  
Old 8th November 2015, 22:40
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

^ that is a lovely reply custard, I often think of you and Martin x
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  #56  
Old 9th November 2015, 20:36
Tiger_Lily Tiger_Lily is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Thank you CC, and for Newbs, for thinking of the both of us.

I just don't know what to do to be honest Work is absolutely my saving grace and has been for the past couple of months. I dread to think what I'd be like now if I didn't have work to occupy me everyday. At work I'm motivated, chatty and I'm fine really. It's coping away from work that can be the problem at times.

I really don't want to go on anti-depressants. I feel like because I'm already on medication for migraine I just don't want to add more pills to the mix. Maybe that's a silly excuse, I don't know. Is it stupid to think I can get through this without visiting my gp? All I know is that I don't want to visit my gp.
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  #57  
Old 10th November 2015, 15:08
Sun Wukong Sun Wukong is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Quote:
Originally Posted by HelloSunshine
At work I'm motivated, chatty and I'm fine really. It's coping away from work that can be the problem at times.
Well its great to hear there are plenty of positives . If you’re struggling outside work, maybe just get some distractions in place, movies (comedies?), books (anything uplifting?), music (load of upbeat stuff around) – plus plenty of people on here you can chat to or PM if needs be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HelloSunshine
I really don't want to go on anti-depressants. I feel like because I'm already on medication for migraine I just don't want to add more pills to the mix. Maybe that's a silly excuse, I don't know. Is it stupid to think I can get through this without visiting my gp? All I know is that I don't want to visit my gp.
GP’s can be a pain in the arse for sure – but it seems like your putting up a barrier to something that could help/support you in the short to medium term, why not try it? It might help . I know it can feel like going to the Dr's only for them to , but you don’t actually have to be nice to the GP, depending what action you took it could simply be stress relief , lol , but it makes sense to try it if your feeling crap.

Wishing you well
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  #58  
Old 10th November 2015, 21:28
Tiger_Lily Tiger_Lily is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

^ Thank you
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  #59  
Old 10th November 2015, 22:06
ynwa247 ynwa247 is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

The underlying cause for my suicidal thoughts, apart from anxiety/depression is feeling disconnected from the world. At risk of sounding like a hipster, modern life is too complicated and too full of regret for me, but I'm not sure how I'd fare being a peasant either.
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  #60  
Old 10th November 2015, 22:38
MrsJones MrsJones is offline
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Default Re: The Suicide Thread - Trigger Warning

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jjoe
The underlying cause for my suicidal thoughts, apart from anxiety/depression is feeling disconnected from the world. At risk of sounding like a hipster, modern life is too complicated and too full of regret for me, but I'm not sure how I'd fare being a peasant either.
I totally understand.
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