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  #31  
Old 22nd November 2015, 12:43
pheys pheys is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by DelicateFlower
That's great you found something that has helped you. 5HTP didn't do much for me personally.

I think too many psychiatrists still believe medication is ineffective in BPD patients. It's a myth, I cannot believe the difference medication makes although the side effects are crap and I'm wiped out most of the time.
I do believe it depends on the cause of the bpd. if it's simply a chemical imbalance then it's easily fixed (although definitely with always ****ed side effects) but if it's due to core beliefs then it's not so easy
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  #32  
Old 29th November 2015, 11:09
Abigail Hobbs Abigail Hobbs is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

^ I often get all seven of those in just the one day.
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  #33  
Old 29th November 2015, 14:00
Metal Goat Metal Goat is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

Me too. A day where I had just one mood would be completely alien to me.

Also my fear of being abandoned stretches to fear of loved ones dying or being cheated on too.

Just sobbed all the way through love actually because of the cheating storyline.

Couldn't watch Karl Pilkington the other day because it was all about getting old and anything like that triggers horrible thoughts about death.

I seem to be getting worse. I think watching an actual sad film nowadays would be too much for me.

I sometimes think itd be easier to explain things that DON'T trigger me.
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  #34  
Old 22nd May 2016, 23:04
Metal Goat Metal Goat is offline
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Default Borderline Personality Disorder

I was diagnosed by a private psychiatrist but I have never tried to be diagnosed on the nhs because I don't want it on my medical records. i do know quite a few people who have been diagnosed by the nhs with it. Almost always after a suicide attempt and all women. In fact, I always believed it to be over diagnosed. (In inpatients) I'm not entirely sure though. I feel it's one of those things that only really get diagnosed at crisis point in hospital.

Before I knew I had it, I went to GPs constantly trying to explain that I had more than just depression wrong with me and my mood swings were severe and affecting my relationships. They just said that I should be happy during the happy times and tried to give me more CBT even after I told them I've tried it loads of times and it has not helped. They told me to stop having sex with loads of people because it was dangerous and to stop self harming or I would have lots of nasty scars. Helpful. Obviously a GP can't diagnose but they were very reluctant to send me to anyone who could. Always IAPT or just changing my meds. I think you have to be assertive and persistent which I wasn't. It'd always take me another year or so to go back and they'd just fob me off again. To which I would say ok thanks bye.

DBT is a popular therapy for BPD. I couldn't afford to keep going to sessions privately so I haven't tried it. CBT isn't really given for BPD. Some kinds of counselling can be helpful.
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  #35  
Old 22nd May 2016, 23:29
Merritt Merritt is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

I had DBT in my late teens. I never had any therapy or counselling since, but am now waiting for therapy to start in a place that's specifically for people with personality disorders. I remember the work sheets we used for DBT came from some text for treating borderline personality disorder, so I've always wondered if that meant I had it myself, and the fact that I've been referred again to a place specialising in it makes me assume I must at least have some informal diagnosis of it.

BPD doesn't really fit with me though. I don't have volatile relationships because I don't allow myself relationships, and I don't do anything impulsive or reckless that I can't keep hidden and manage alone. I identify with a lot of the feelings that are meant to be associated with it, the vulnerability, paranoia, tumultuous moods, difficulties with sense of self, etc, but I just don't feel like I fit the typical profile of what a BPD sufferer is meant to be like, my behaviour doesn't line up with the feelings.
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  #36  
Old 22nd May 2016, 23:52
Johnny88 Johnny88 is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by Merritt
I had DBT in my late teens. I never had any therapy or counselling since, but am now waiting for therapy to start in a place that's specifically for people with personality disorders. I remember the work sheets we used for DBT came from some text for treating borderline personality disorder, so I've always wondered if that meant I had it myself, and the fact that I've been referred again to a place specialising in it makes me assume I must at least have some informal diagnosis of it.

BPD doesn't really fit with me though. I don't have volatile relationships because I don't allow myself relationships, and I don't do anything impulsive or reckless that I can't keep hidden and manage alone. I identify with a lot of the feelings that are meant to be associated with it, the vulnerability, paranoia, tumultuous moods, difficulties with sense of self, etc, but I just don't feel like I fit the typical profile of what a BPD sufferer is meant to be like, my behaviour doesn't line up with the feelings.
I can relate all the symptoms, I'm reckless and constantly bored-as for sense of self-well I don't really have one. I'm used always change goals and still confused as to how I should live my life. The paranoia and reaction to negative cues from others is evident but quite subtle that often I don't even notice. Lately though I've realised I'm more paranoid than I previously suspected.

its confusjng though, it seems I can relate many of the disorders like many people with mental health issues can. Also I've had people tell me theg think I might have bipolar and even had people at uni telling me they think I could be on the autism spectrum.

I've asked GP if she could refer me for another diagnosis as GAD doesn't seem fitting. She didn't think it was necessary though. The woman from MH charity also claims she doesn't think the diagnosis is that important.
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  #37  
Old 22nd May 2016, 23:56
Johnny88 Johnny88 is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

The annoying thing is it always feels like I'm verging on normality and convince myself it is going to gobaway but it never does.
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  #38  
Old 23rd May 2016, 00:19
Johnny88 Johnny88 is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

I've just completed self-diagnosis test on psychology today. I scored 93 for BPD, 86 for GAD, 83 for PTSD, 50 for substance use disorder, 37 for panic disorder.
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  #39  
Old 23rd May 2016, 00:19
Johnny88 Johnny88 is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

Probably load of shite like.
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  #40  
Old 23rd May 2016, 00:28
Johnny88 Johnny88 is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

And then I read about OCD-magical thinking, intrusive and opposing thoughts (over-importance on thoughts).....I think I might ask again to get diagnosed.
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  #41  
Old 5th October 2016, 17:26
Metal Goat Metal Goat is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

My husband going to see his friend all day has triggered irrational feelings of abandonment.

My husband tends to make friends with people who are quite intense and clingy.

I have had a week off and every couple of days his friend wants to see him.

Their days together are literally 12 hours long. He came back asking about going over again on Friday.

I just stressed out telling him this is the only week I will have off for ages and it's all getting really intense.

He said I was welcome to come too. I said if we were going anywhere I'd like it to be with my friends for once.

Now he's being lovely and I'm being a bitch cos he has the cheek to have a friend. Jesus.


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  #42  
Old 5th October 2016, 18:05
Victoriablack Victoriablack is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

I have heard that dbt is the only effective therapy for bpd. I expect that you would have to go private for it. It doesn't cure it but it can help people to manage it. I don't think that psychiatrists are at all keen on diagnosing people with personality disorders because of the lack of effective treatments.
Add into this the fact that symptoms of cptsd can look like bpd. On the plus side this is more treatable and the response to trauma rather than being your personality.
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  #43  
Old 5th October 2016, 21:06
KGM KGM is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

Hi, I received DBT treatment through the NHS, though I'm told I'm lucky as it's not available widely in the UK.


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  #44  
Old 5th October 2016, 23:19
ExSAguy ExSAguy is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

I hate my borderline. Sure the highs are insane euphoric experiences, but I know in a heartbeat that can turn into major hating of everything.

5htp has made a massive difference to me along with changing the way I think about things.

The idolising/demonising of people (even the same person in one day) has ceased.
My massive abandonment issues have faded
I still compulsively do things I shouldnt
I struggle every day to not pick up my old drinking addiction
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  #45  
Old 6th October 2016, 06:37
pink_wafer pink_wafer is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

I used to be convinced I had this. Saw two psychs in UK - one said I had traits and that my issues are just my personality (hello, isn't that a personality disorder), and the other said I have mild bi polar.

As I have got older my problems in relationships have become less prominent and I am lucky I have found a really great supportive partner who is understanding.
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  #46  
Old 9th October 2016, 12:56
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

It's happened again.
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  #47  
Old 9th October 2016, 22:47
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

^ Thank you. You know what it's like.
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  #48  
Old 10th October 2016, 00:23
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

^ Sorry to hear this Nancy. But forget about it. It's done. Tomorrow is another day where you can live on just to mess with the people that make you feel like doing yourself in.
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  #49  
Old 10th October 2016, 23:55
Metal Goat Metal Goat is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

My brain is broken. I need a new one.

Jealousy is one of the emotions I hate the most. It seems like such a childish thing to feel especially so strongly.
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  #50  
Old 31st October 2016, 01:32
Metal Goat Metal Goat is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

Really struggling with alcohol and knowing when to stop. A couple of years ago I went through a phase of drinking every night. It made my mental and physical health suffer a lot so I stopped because I felt it was starting to become a problem.

I can now go weeks or even months without drinking, I don't crave it, don't really think about it. Problem is that when I DO drink I just can't stop until I am wasted.

I feel in one way like I am kind of "over" the whole going out drinking and would rather just sit in with my husband watching TV, but then, every now and then, especially if there are problems between us, I become worried about having no friends other than him. I want to keep in touch with my friends and accept invitations to go out with them. I don't have many close friends and don't want to lose the ones I have by saying no.

Some of them get very drunk too but at weekend I really struggled getting a taxi home because I could barely see and I was ringing my husband crying which obviously worried him.

Once I start drinking I just can't stop myself. I embarrass myself every time and the next day I hate myself. Every time I go out I come in to work on Monday morning panicking about everyone hating me.

I dunno if I just need to be teetotal if I wanna grow up and stop being a mess but I would need to find new friends who aren't in to drinking because quite frankly hanging around with drunk people while sober is boring and i would become tempted. The people I get along with always seem to be the kind who like going out drinking and honestly, I do too. I just think I'm getting too old to be getting SO drunk.

I wish I could just stop once I'm a bit drunk and leave. I have no will power.
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  #51  
Old 31st October 2016, 01:57
Azalea Azalea is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

Isabelle I'm having the same problem right now except I dont go out and just drink at home. I went years not drinking at all because of meds but a few weeks ago decided I just dont care any more.
Like you I just cant stop when I start, I can be pouring another and thinking that I really dont want it but just have to do it.
The willpower thing is very difficult, I find the same with cheese and chocolate.
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  #52  
Old 31st October 2016, 08:25
ExSAguy ExSAguy is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

same.

the only way is total abstainance if, like me, you cant stop when you start
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  #53  
Old 31st October 2016, 10:51
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by Isabelle Lightwood
Really struggling with alcohol and knowing when to stop. A couple of years ago I went through a phase of drinking every night. It made my mental and physical health suffer a lot so I stopped because I felt it was starting to become a problem.

I can now go weeks or even months without drinking, I don't crave it, don't really think about it. Problem is that when I DO drink I just can't stop until I am wasted.

I feel in one way like I am kind of "over" the whole going out drinking and would rather just sit in with my husband watching TV, but then, every now and then, especially if there are problems between us, I become worried about having no friends other than him. I want to keep in touch with my friends and accept invitations to go out with them. I don't have many close friends and don't want to lose the ones I have by saying no.

Some of them get very drunk too but at weekend I really struggled getting a taxi home because I could barely see and I was ringing my husband crying which obviously worried him.

Once I start drinking I just can't stop myself. I embarrass myself every time and the next day I hate myself. Every time I go out I come in to work on Monday morning panicking about everyone hating me.

I dunno if I just need to be teetotal if I wanna grow up and stop being a mess but I would need to find new friends who aren't in to drinking because quite frankly hanging around with drunk people while sober is boring and i would become tempted. The people I get along with always seem to be the kind who like going out drinking and honestly, I do too. I just think I'm getting too old to be getting SO drunk.

I wish I could just stop once I'm a bit drunk and leave. I have no will power.
You're going to get bored of me saying this, but I know what you mean, I used to be exactly the same. When I recovered from drug addiction, shortly after I replaced drugs it with drink. Like you, all of my friendships at the time were based on going out for drinks and getting wasted, I could never ever do the "let's go for just a couple of drinks". If I knew the night wasn't going to end up with me being in a state at 5am, then I didn't wanna know. I couldn't get "a bit drunk and leave". I recognised where this was going, I saw the same patterns and had the same feelings when I was on drugs, so I stopped drinking, i went tee total. This, of course, ment that none of my mates were interested in me anymore, which was hard to take.
Now I just allow myself to drink on the odd occassions.

My point is, you seem very aware of the issue, which tells me you're more in control than you think. Take that as a positive.
You say you can go months without drink, well it's ok to get completely wasted on occassions, you're a northerner after all. And who hasn't embarressed themselves on a night out? If you wake up the next morning without regretting your actions the night before, then it was a pretty sh*t night out.
One day you might get "over" and out grow this phase too. But in the mean time there's nothing wrong with enjoying a night out to excess.
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  #54  
Old 2nd November 2016, 15:17
Metal Goat Metal Goat is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

Thank you for all the replies!

@Azalea sorry to hear you are going through the same. I used to pretty much always drink at home. It kinda became a routine and habit to drink every night after work but not just a couple, again to the point of being pissed. I think it caught up to me because I started feeling physically very unwell.

@ExSAguy do you find your anxiety is worse being teetotal and unable to use alcohol to take the edge off?

@Jam I never get bored of hearing that. You always get it. Whenever we talk about BPD stuff I feel like you're taking the words right out of my mouth. I guess as long as I don't do it often, it's not the worst. I plan on keeping an eye out to make sure it doesn't start becoming more regular again. I went in to work on Monday and it turned out everyone else was even more drunk than me and cringing about the embarrassing stuff they themselves did. This would all be much easier if I could just not care so much the next day about how much I embarrassed myself.
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  #55  
Old 27th November 2016, 22:12
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

I need advice.
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  #56  
Old 27th November 2016, 22:22
jam jam is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

^ Ha. Of all people on here I'd never ignore you.
Anyway, you said I can never pm you again.
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  #57  
Old 28th November 2016, 19:30
AnnieLu AnnieLu is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

How do you stop yourself getting ridiculously attached to and obsessed with people? Just thinking out loud really... how do you know when to trust your own feelings?
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  #58  
Old 28th November 2016, 21:34
ExSAguy ExSAguy is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieLu
How do you stop yourself getting ridiculously attached to and obsessed with people? Just thinking out loud really... how do you know when to trust your own feelings?
You have to change your way of thinking from black and white extremes (of perfect or the devil) to a grey medium (that can lean towards either side) or accept people can be both black and white.

It takes time
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  #59  
Old 28th November 2016, 23:27
jam jam is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieLu
How do you stop yourself getting ridiculously attached to and obsessed with people? Just thinking out loud really... how do you know when to trust your own feelings?
Exactly what im going through now.
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  #60  
Old 29th November 2016, 00:14
Metal Goat Metal Goat is offline
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Default Re: Borderline Personality Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnieLu
How do you stop yourself getting ridiculously attached to and obsessed with people? Just thinking out loud really... how do you know when to trust your own feelings?


I don't know but I was probably about 11 the last time I was not inappropriately attached to/obsessed with someone. Sometimes it's a couple of people at once but often it's just one person.

Now I'm married it's always with friends that I get it with which helps a little cos actually trying to date someone and feeling like that about them is horrendous.

Now I always feel guilty though about being obsessed with people other than my husband. Sometimes I'm attracted to them which in itself is normal but when I get obsessed with them I feel guilty. Like its normal to find other people attractive but feeling so strongly doesn't feel so normal. I trust that I will not actually do anything about it. I'm aware as its happening that it will go away one day but it doesn't help the feelings. It doesn't make me consider leaving my husband for them - I actually love my husband rather than being obsessed with him and so it's different but the obsessive attachment is exciting and when you can't just get rid of the feelings it's difficult to not feel awful. Cutting the person out of my life doesn't help - it just goes straight to the next one.

Often it's a completely platonic thing and I'm not sexually attracted to them but I still feel obsessed with them which is also confusing.

I feel like I'm some kind of crazy stalker.
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