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  #1  
Old 5th October 2015, 17:45
abc abc is offline
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Default Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Anyone else been diagnosed with this?

I was diagnosed with it last year, but have been experiencing symptoms since my late teens. In fact I would say that most, if not all, the anxiety I experience in social situations is due to the way I perceive how I look.

Any ideas on treatments etc? Personally although I found cbt immensely helpful in overcoming my social anxiety, I've found the techniques pretty usless when trying to tackle BDD-related thoughts.
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  #2  
Old 5th October 2015, 17:48
Nostracarmus Nostracarmus is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I have it, I'm a skinny person by nature, always think I look skinnier than I am and have been trying unsuccessfully to gain weight for the last 12 years. I've stayed 140lbs the whole time.

No idea what to do with it to be honest, I've just gotten used to it.
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  #3  
Old 5th October 2015, 18:32
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I think I have it. I'm not really sure because maybe I am just not very attractive. I feel like my face doesn't look right and that everything is a bit wonky.

It's such an annoying thing because I worry that people think I'm looking for them to tell me nice things about my appearance. When actually compliments make me more self conscious. I feel like they are saying it because they feel obliged to and that they are just saying it to make me feel better. I'd never talk about my thoughts on my appearance out loud. It's not something I reveal to people. I accept compliments from people, I don't challenge them, but on the inside I have these thoughts.

I know that there's more to me than my appearance and I don't really think people value me based on my appearance. It's just I really think I'm hiddeous.

I've never been to a doctor about it.

I also seem to obsess about certain features on my face that I don't like. For a while it was eyebrows. Then it was my wonky eyes.

Please don't quote this.
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  #4  
Old 5th October 2015, 19:40
MrsJones MrsJones is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I was told I have this, too-- but in my case, I feel as if it was a bit of a cop out of a diagnosis-- a label given to delude myself and make me feel better about my ugliness. Some people are just conventionally unattractive. The sooner I accept this, the better. Can a conventionally ugly person have BDD? I don't know. Enlighten me, folks.

I don't mean ANY disrespect by what I said, by the way. These are just my thoughts on my own experiences.

Much love to you all x
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  #5  
Old 5th October 2015, 23:48
Miggs The Terrible Miggs The Terrible is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Yep. Yep. Yep.
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  #6  
Old 5th October 2015, 23:54
MLP James MLP James is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I'm not sure if this could apply to me. I do sometimes feel like my appearance is just wrong somehow. I'm very insecure about how I look, but that's mostly based on specific things, and I feel like my insecurity would mostly go away if I could fix those things. Still there is that feeling that I just don't look right, so I don't know.
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  #7  
Old 6th October 2015, 00:26
Appear Appear is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lyra Silvertongue
I have this too. I have the same feeling that my face just looks "wrong".
I feel like I'm much less attractive than everybody else, to the point where I feel like people stare at me on the street because I'm so ugly. I'm really sensitive when it comes to comments about appearance. I get jealous whenever I hear someone else being complimented because I wish I looked like them yet whenever someone compliments me I just instantly don't believe it. It's not great.
This is pretty much me.


I've made some big improvements in the last year or so though. While I do have mostly same worries and experience the odd off moments, I'm no longer constantly preoccupied with thoughts about my appearance, and worry about others' evaluations of it to a lesser extent. It would be facile of me to claim that any one factor has contributed to this improvement, though one thing that I believe has accompanied it is a greater sense of 'owning' my appearance, which sounds horribly seventies' self-help, but does seem to characterise the relationship I now have with this fleshy, calico husk I carry about. I think that's probably involved acknowledging that there are aspects of my appearance that aren't the way I'd like them to be (far from it, in most respects), while learning to accept them as they are and coming to realise that just because I don't like them it doesn't mean others won't, with a dash of: no-one's going to tell me who I am or can be based on the random genetic shuffling that's for the most part produced my particular facial topography.
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  #8  
Old 6th October 2015, 01:48
Legion Legion is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

My body is vile but I spend an inordinate amount of time looking at it in the mirror now that I live alone.

I measure my 'slightly above average' (imo you're either small and useless or big and perfect) cock every time I masturbate, in the hope it will have somehow become bigger. Also in the back of my mind is the fear that it will be smaller for some reason. I can't possibly have a girlfriend because I don't have a big cock, which means:
-I can't get her off
-I'm wasting her time
-I'm ruining her life
Also:
-I believe she's lying to me if she says it doesn't matter, which causes tension

I try to also position my face the same way in photos and it panics me if someone catches me unawares.

There's more to say but I am nodding off, toodles
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  #9  
Old 7th October 2015, 22:33
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ wish someone knew the words to help you see yourself in a different way.

----------

Does anyone else feel like they sort of morph into different faces? I feel like I look different in every mirror and every photograph. I'm not sure how to explain that properly. I don't mean that in one mirror I have short blonde hair and the next I have long brown hair. It's not massive differences, but to the point where I feel like I'm not sure what I really look like.

Some photos look okay, but I think that they are photos that don't really look like what I look like. I believe the ones that are awful do look like me.
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  #10  
Old 7th October 2015, 22:45
Appear Appear is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ Yep. And I believe it's quite common (at least for those who struggle with this sort of thing). I reckon it's probably the case that everyone's face can look different under different conditions, but it's those that are particularly concerned with their appearance who are more keenly aware of it.
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  #11  
Old 7th October 2015, 23:34
Oddity Oddity is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I'm the same. I also feel like people won't recognise me, because I don't look like anyone, or people have to get a good look to figure my face out.

This thread as me wondering.
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  #12  
Old 8th October 2015, 18:01
MrsJones MrsJones is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuits
Does anyone else feel like they sort of morph into different faces?
Oh, yes. The deceptively slimming mirrors and clever lighting in dressing rooms make me feel like a goddess..then I take a look at myself in natural daylight and I feel repulsive. Misleading? I think so!

There have been a few occasions when I'm looking at myself in the mirror (totally sober, I promise) and just for a moment, I'm convinced I could play a Dornish girl in Game of Thrones. I feel gorgeous. Then, suddenly, I feel like Brienne of Tarth.

Meh.
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  #13  
Old 8th October 2015, 18:08
BritishPeace BritishPeace is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I have been told I have this, but some people just are ugly, no point in telling them they have BDD. I don't have it I'm just not good looking.
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  #14  
Old 8th October 2015, 21:05
Legion Legion is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuits
^ wish someone knew the words to help you see yourself in a different way.
I have a nose for white lies, so there's nothing to be said tbh
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  #15  
Old 8th October 2015, 21:08
Abigail Hobbs Abigail Hobbs is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsJones
Oh, yes. The deceptively slimming mirrors and clever lighting in dressing rooms make me feel like a goddess..then I take a look at myself in natural daylight and I feel repulsive. Misleading? I think so!

There have been a few occasions when I'm looking at myself in the mirror (totally sober, I promise) and just for a moment, I'm convinced I could play a Dornish girl in Game of Thrones. I feel gorgeous. Then, suddenly, I feel like Brienne of Tarth.

Meh.
Same here. I go from thinking I'm really beautiful to thinking I'm hideously ugly. There's no in between.
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  #16  
Old 8th October 2015, 23:26
Furious Dave Furious Dave is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I think I can be attractive, but my skin lets me down. Always has. I'm 27 now, but I still have the complexion of a teenager. Just pores and red marks and general shit everywhere. I get so focused on it sometimes I wonder if it really is as bad as it really is and I'd just focus on something else. Meanwhile, my physique is one of a twig, and on me it's ugly no matter what spin I put on it.

On the plus side I accept my obvious failings a lot more now. I'm more successful these days about going about my life and putting to the back of my mind that I look like scum.
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  #17  
Old 8th October 2015, 23:52
black_mamba black_mamba is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I probably had BDD when I was younger - I couldn't look at my reflection without feeling physically ill. Or maybe I was just ugly. I 'fixed' my teeth, my skin, my hair and my dress sense. I learnt to accept my crooked nose. My two younger sisters might've had BDD-like issues too, they've both had nose jobs. I do think it was a lot to do with us being so alien looking and not fitting in (we're 2nd gen immigrants).
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  #18  
Old 9th October 2015, 17:11
BritishPeace BritishPeace is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I met a nurse today who said she had BDD in the dy rehab centre, but she was just not good looking.
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  #19  
Old 9th October 2015, 19:34
Furious Dave Furious Dave is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by black_mamba
I probably had BDD when I was younger - I couldn't look at my reflection without feeling physically ill. Or maybe I was just ugly. I 'fixed' my teeth, my skin, my hair and my dress sense. I learnt to accept my crooked nose. My two younger sisters might've had BDD-like issues too, they've both had nose jobs. I do think it was a lot to do with us being so alien looking and not fitting in (we're 2nd gen immigrants).
I had this too (but not anymore). I was so disgusted about my skin and my general appearance that I avoided looking at myself in any way. It was just my only escape tbh, ignorance is bliss etc. I would only shave in the dark and when my reflection was just a silhouette. I became pretty good at blind shaving after a while
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  #20  
Old 9th October 2015, 19:47
goku goku is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

i hate BDD, just no escape from it.
i love bodybuilding and whenever i look and feel great i can't help but compare myself to pro bodybuilders and it immediately puts me down, can never be content or happy.

facially? im the polar opposite to what most of society would find appealing.
probably why i love bodybuilding so much, at least i can be the polar opposite totally and take it to the extremes.
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  #21  
Old 9th October 2015, 20:33
Xithium Xithium is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuits
----------

Does anyone else feel like they sort of morph into different faces? I feel like I look different in every mirror and every photograph. I'm not sure how to explain that properly. I don't mean that in one mirror I have short blonde hair and the next I have long brown hair. It's not massive differences, but to the point where I feel like I'm not sure what I really look like.

Some photos look okay, but I think that they are photos that don't really look like what I look like. I believe the ones that are awful do look like me.
Yes! I rarely come across anyone who knows what I'm talking about when I try to describe noticing this. I feel like I resemble completely different people, depending on what mirror I look in or photograph I see, to the point where I'm not really sure what I look like. Just when I thought I was doing better, too, with accepting myself, I've recently had to sit and stare at myself in the mirror at the hairdressers which pretty much brought me thudding back down to earth. What I see in those kinds of mirrors is nothing like what I see when I look into the mirrors in my house. Though I'm too embarrassed to show anyone to prove what I'm saying, I also have actual photographs of myself that differ so considerably from each other or to what I see in the mirror that it's absolutely baffling.

How can that be? I realise lighting has an effect, with fluorescent and bright overhead lighting bringing out everybody's flaws, but surely it can't make that much of a difference? I'm worried I'm just stubborn and in denial about my appearance, as in... I want to believe I truly look more like the less repulsive me that I see when I look into mirrors in flattering lighting, so am continuously horrified when I see myself in more 'accurate' situations. Maybe I just have an odd face that catches the light in funny ways? I know my badly textured skin varies widely in its appearance depending on what lighting I'm stood in - in dimly lit places it's sometimes not even noticeable, yet in others I can resemble Freddy Krueger. It's pretty distressing and anxiety-inducing. And when I've tried to explain to someone before what I experience, they just acted like I was crazy. I suspect they probably were just used to seeing me as the 'worst' version of myself I'd seen, whereas I've always been in denial about looking like that, so any 'difference' was only noticeable to me. That's still a rather scary thought.
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  #22  
Old 10th October 2015, 17:32
cordyceps cordyceps is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

It limits me massively and I can't mentally separate it from SA.

In every irl moment, everything I can give -attention, eye contact, social awareness - is severely compromised by knowing people can see me. I'm often so consumed by this that I mentally miss whole conversations or do hazardous things like not looking when crossing the road just because I'm too wrapped up in embarrassment.

I get these sudden fixations about certain aspects of myself & each fixation will dominate for a time - for half a year it'll be that everyones looking at my ____, then my ____ after that obsession dies, etc.

I don't have an upswing, though. There's never a moment of 'I look good'. Sometimes I think I don't look that hideous, or that I look the plainer end of average, but then I glimpse myself in a reflection and it's, 'who are you kidding, lol'.

It doesn't help that I do have actual massive flaws body and face wise anyway and am not conventionally attractive. It's not a case of thinking my nose is very slightly misaligned or that a size twelve is 'fat' or whatever. There's a lot going on with my appearance and it's all flaws which are universally disliked. I only call it BDD because of the concession that I am devoting too much time and worry to self-assessing...I do feel that the actual judgements I've formed of myself are correct, if harsh.

I did at least use to spend time on my appearance, try to hack it into something interesting but gave up some years ago - which has made me feel worse.

I am rather fat too and do feel there's something uniquely 'wrong' with my body. I lurk on Tumblr a lot and all the social justice chicks constantly post nude selfies, and most of them are at least 'chubby' - and often far fatter than I . And I accept them. I'm not personally into very big people sexually but I look at them dispassionately with a 'huh, ok' mentality.

Yet when it's me , it seems almost theatrically awful and weirdly shaped, my own body I mean.

M&S had some lovely 70s style clothes in today and I tried some things on, determined to make a go of it and at least have one or two outfits that make me look like I care about myself. But it's been so long since I was in a changing room all these new insecurities came up. The back of my head looks this way, my posture looks that way, ad nauseum.

I'm going to start dressing a little more like a higher life form, but damn if all of this, no matter what I do, is exhausting and depressing. I hate BDD so so much. Hate it.


EDIT: And if I went into how trans stuff affects your view of yourself and how it never gets less surprising or upsetting that I happen to be in a outer casing society views as 'female', this post would be half as long again.
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  #23  
Old 14th October 2015, 00:30
Legion Legion is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I'm forever checking my hair in reflective surfaces. By now I know how to style it without looking, so I regularly re-style (compulsions).

In fact, I think I posted a yt vid of me up a hill in Edinburgh on here. Watching it showed me adjust my hair mid-sentence at one point. Must look a prize knob.

I'm also always running late and rushing because I have to check and recheck my appearance before I leave the house/flat.

R.e the above posts. I find that pictures of anyone's face at different angles really confuses me - I don't have this trouble in person.
I find that I am rarely attracted to women in pictures but would swoon over them in person too.
I hate my face at any angle except looking to the left (if reflected) or slightly to the right (if photo)
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  #24  
Old 14th October 2015, 00:45
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

The most frustrating thing about BDD for me is people trying to convince you that xyz is all in your head (#bars), or even pretending that xyz is hot. Rofl.

Example scenario:
-I explain that I think I'm unlikely to ever be in a relationship because I'm a manlet and women like big men.
-Female friend tells me that's bs or w/e (I never talk to male friends about mental illness, I'm not that stupid).

Yet everyone knows women do prefer bigger men. Obviously I mean taller and not some sort of danny devito look..

I honestly don't understand how someone can just talk BS to your face, yet think it's the truth? Baffles me. I also think, 'why are they lying to me?' Mostly I just assume they are trying to make me feel better, but sometimes I wonder if they're just saying these things because they feel bad about the truth.
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  #25  
Old 14th October 2015, 10:12
goku goku is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

i won't paint all women with the same brush, because as generic as it sounds, people are different!
but i think you're probably right, most women probably would prefer that look just like most men would prefer women with a certain look - this is why i don't judge anyone by their looks, because it's something we have no control over!

the amount of times attractive women or men get an undeserved opportunity over someone less attractive is just frustrating for me to see.

looks, height, facial structure is all a genetic lottery. no control over it yet we get judged on it so frequently. not by everyone but by a lot of people.

but one thing you can definitely control bud, and that's your physique! (and character of course!)
you can control and influence those greatly,
if you're unhappy with your body you can change it's composition...massively!

a short guy can look more aesthetically appealing than someone taller if you know what you're doing.
some of the best phyisques to have walked this planet have been circa 5'7
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  #26  
Old 14th October 2015, 12:50
MrsJones MrsJones is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by goku
i won't paint all women with the same brush, because as generic as it sounds, people are different!

the amount of times attractive women or men get an undeserved opportunity over someone less attractive is just frustrating for me to see.
Hear, hear!
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  #27  
Old 16th October 2015, 17:03
Legion Legion is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by goku
i won't paint all women with the same brush, because as generic as it sounds, people are different!
but i think you're probably right, most women probably would prefer that look just like most men would prefer women with a certain look - this is why i don't judge anyone by their looks, because it's something we have no control over!

I tend not to announce my generalisations on here, I think they're pretty obvious. You're right to if you want to stay on the right side of certain forum members, though.

the amount of times attractive women or men get an undeserved opportunity over someone less attractive is just frustrating for me to see.

looks, height, facial structure is all a genetic lottery. no control over it yet we get judged on it so frequently. not by everyone but by a lot of people.

but one thing you can definitely control bud, and that's your physique! (and character of course!)
you can control and influence those greatly,
if you're unhappy with your body you can change it's composition...massively!

I can't meaningfully change it. I.E I will never be a big guy, because I have a skinnier bone structure than most women I see - my wrists are less than 5cm across width-wise (to give you an idea of what my bone structure is like.). I generally just maintain what I have right now, mostly working on lats, no need to be serious about it as I'd look weird AF.

a short guy can look more aesthetically appealing than someone taller if you know what you're doing.
some of the best phyisques to have walked this planet have been circa 5'7
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  #28  
Old 16th October 2015, 20:41
Cairn Cairn is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I don't understand BDD.

I don't know if I have it or not.

Sometimes I think I look alright, but there are things about my appearance that I don't like and these things are not in my head and have affected my life negatively.

I see people here, very good looking people who are told time and time again by other very good looking people, and not so good looking people, that they are very good looking, but won't accept it because they see a distorted image of themselves.

But surely, there must come a point when they accept what every single person us telling them, and not the image they see?

I've read that BDD is about seeing a distorted image of yourself looking back at you, and also that BDD is obsessing about body parts, facial features etc that don't look distorted.

One of the things I hate about myself are my ears. I've never seen anyone with ears like mine, they are unique lol, and no end of ***** took the piss out of them growing up. I know I'm not seeing a distorted image of them for instance.

However, sometimes I look at my face and think I look good, and other's I think I look weird, but I don't see a distorted, twisted monster looking back at me like some people claim to see.
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  #29  
Old 17th October 2015, 19:20
Cairn Cairn is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

What criticism have you had mate because I've seen a picture of you before and a couple of partial pics and you look fine.
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  #30  
Old 18th October 2015, 00:25
goku goku is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cairn
I don't understand BDD.

I don't know if I have it or not.

Sometimes I think I look alright, but there are things about my appearance that I don't like and these things are not in my head and have affected my life negatively.

I see people here, very good looking people who are told time and time again by other very good looking people, and not so good looking people, that they are very good looking, but won't accept it because they see a distorted image of themselves.

But surely, there must come a point when they accept what every single person us telling them, and not the image they see?

I've read that BDD is about seeing a distorted image of yourself looking back at you, and also that BDD is obsessing about body parts, facial features etc that don't look distorted.

One of the things I hate about myself are my ears. I've never seen anyone with ears like mine, they are unique lol, and no end of ***** took the piss out of them growing up. I know I'm not seeing a distorted image of them for instance.

However, sometimes I look at my face and think I look good, and other's I think I look weird, but I don't see a distorted, twisted monster looking back at me like some people claim to see.
i think you're right about a distorted image, that's my view of BDD.
seeing things which are unrealistic, a very lean person thinking they look fat, maybe from a distorted reflection and keeping that image in their head.
i've got over mine to a certain extent but i feel small all the time, its something that probably will never leave but at least we can get some form of control over it maybe?

people who are unhappy with their body image when there's actually reason to be unhappy and they're not creating a distorted view, imo that's not BDD and i get annoyed when people think it is. it's not, they're just unhappy with reality, they're not creating a false reality.

it skews the condition for people with actual BDD, which angers me to be quite honest because they put they put their bodies through extremes while the people who don't suffer actual BDD don't, yet they think they suffer the same pitfalls.
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