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  #61  
Old 29th January 2016, 01:06
MrsJones MrsJones is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^^
Steer clear from Elizabeth Arden mirrors, folks....they'll make you sit there for hours picking at your skin.
^^^
I thought they used slimming mirrors in changing rooms?

x
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  #62  
Old 1st February 2016, 13:32
Hylian Hylian is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ I travel for 2 hours back to my hometown to go to the same barbers I have used for a decade. They have a TV on the wall that I watch the entire time
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  #63  
Old 1st February 2016, 23:50
Concept Concept is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

My face is making me think I'm unpassable again lately. ><
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  #64  
Old 2nd February 2016, 07:53
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dimplesxo
Yay for foggy mirrors and dark rooms! Poundland here I come!
Dimples you're lovely please stop looking in the mirror esp if it upsets you x
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  #65  
Old 2nd February 2016, 08:43
Cognitive Cognitive is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I seem to get obsessed about skin colouration. Mine seems to change so quickly. One moment I'm pale, then I'm red, then pale again. I think its a feeling like I've no control.

Concept, wouldn't agree with that statement at all.
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  #66  
Old 7th February 2016, 19:28
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I feel like scratching my face off lately.

I remember my Nan used to tell me that she caught my cousin trying to scratch his freckles off. I know how he felt. I cannot stand my freckles.
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  #67  
Old 7th February 2016, 19:59
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I don't think that the secret is to learn to love your appearance. I think it's more about being a peace with the person that you are, so that you realise that your outer shell doesn't really matter. You have to learn what it is that you have to offer as a human being, which is ultimately more important than what we look like.

I went a couple of years with not thinking about my appearance at all (being okay with it) and thought I was cured. It's only recently where I seem to have gone back to hating my appearance and obsessing about aspects of it and blaming it for certain things.

I'm not sure if there is a treatment for it, it might be that they were trying to use a treatment for eating disorders with you, which is a totally different distortion of appearance.
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  #68  
Old 7th February 2016, 22:52
Hylian Hylian is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Dr David Veale

Not sure if private only
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  #69  
Old 8th February 2016, 19:30
atlantic atlantic is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

This page has some useful info on getting help.

http://bddfoundation.org/helping-you...elp-in-the-uk/
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  #70  
Old 8th February 2016, 21:26
Hylian Hylian is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

No, I thought I would try to tackle SA /depression first via NHS. Didn't work, fml.
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  #71  
Old 8th February 2016, 21:31
Hylian Hylian is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I suppose I didn't want to overwhelm the counsellor with a multitude of different problems. She probably had enough to sink her teeth into, given that during the second session I told her I wanted to be lobotomised.
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  #72  
Old 9th February 2016, 17:21
Cognitive Cognitive is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

From what I learnt, high doses of SSRI's have been shown to have a beneficial effect. Also, specialised CBT. Patients reported significant decrease of symptoms and thought far less about their appearance. Look up BDD foundation on YouTube. There are some cutting edge lectures regarding it.
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  #73  
Old 1st March 2016, 21:45
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I can barely look at myself at the moment. I had a little cry last night. I can cope with things that life throws at me, things that can be dealt with and that have possible solutions, however hard they may be.

But my face... I can't do anything about that. At the moment I feel truly hideous.
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  #74  
Old 4th March 2016, 08:20
Cognitive Cognitive is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

It acts like a virus. You get over one thing and then it migrates to another part of your body.
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  #75  
Old 14th March 2016, 00:45
Cairn Cairn is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

The bullying from your school years as messed you up and you can't see that you're no longer a spotty teenager, and have developed into a good looking bloke.

And I'm sure you don't look miserable and grumpy when you're talking to someone and they make you laugh.
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  #76  
Old 15th March 2016, 00:01
David K David K is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

It sounds like you had a really terrible counsellor last time. What Cairn says is true, but I know it doesn't help being told that.
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  #77  
Old 16th March 2016, 00:51
Dandelion10 Dandelion10 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I think I may have traits of this, but it's hard to tell what is vanity and the modern preoccupation with appearance and what is an actual disorder.

The moments it seems to border onto a disorder is when I feel compelled to keep looking closer and closer at my skin, searching imperfections and the general, rather sad belief that people are worth only how they look.

Sometimes I spend all day grooming but I am mostly in control of the actions.
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  #78  
Old 18th March 2016, 13:45
t1racyjacks t1racyjacks is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I feel like I look terrible most of the time -- used to spend nights crying about how unattractive I was. I do get compliments though, but I have an inability to truly believe them myself? I've somehow processed it as "well, alright you (complimenter) think so, but that doesn't make it true ". And there are times where I do get over it, but I transfer insecurities about other things onto my looks because they are the most convenient thing to attack. Sadly it's preferable to think I'm ugly 'on the outside' than 'on the inside' which is my real fear. So if I'm feeling particularly stupid that day (not difficult), I'll feel ugly as well.

I had a terrible counsellor back home in Singapore. I went and told her I felt ugly, and she said (I kid you not) 'what, are you crazy?' my response was, of course, 'if I felt so sane, do you think I'd be talking to you right now?' and she was like 'O, that's such an english major response' (...............)
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  #79  
Old 10th April 2016, 11:01
Merritt Merritt is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I've been noticing more and more how my perception of my body goes absolutely insane whenever I'm outside or around people. I'll feel like my feet are sticking a metre out in front of me, that I'm bordering on looking like a hunchback if I slouch at all, my clothes are all lopsided and hanging awkwardly on me, I'm abnormally short in comparison to everyone else, I have a face like something from a fancy dress shop. My self-perception seems to turn into a funhouse mirror, and I'm constantly paranoid that that's how others are seeing me too.

If I'm alone and look in the mirror, I recognise I'm no oil painting to say the least, but I don't think I look quite so freakish and inhuman. My body seems more unremarkable, my clothes look fairly normal. But outside, where there are people... urgh. And somehow, even if I've just taken a bath, I'll feel dirty, and I'll believe other people think I'm dirty too. 'Dirty' how, exactly? I don't even know. Just dirty.
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  #80  
Old 10th April 2016, 11:22
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I often walk around and couldn't even tell you what someone is wearing. Most people walk around in their own little world detracted by their phone, things they have to do, their own worries.

Occasionally I might notice if someone had funky trousers on or was wearing a top I liked but you sound pretty normal to me and I'm most people do not take any notice
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  #81  
Old 10th April 2016, 14:41
Laura84 Laura84 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ I am the same. If I do ever look at someone I don't know for longer than what is deemed a normal amount, it is because I've noticed something that I particularly like. Without actually saying it out loud though it's probably assumed negatively which is a sad thought.

From what I've read about BDD though, mainly on this site, no amount of positive encouragement from other people really helps, it's an inner belief about yourself which cannot so easily be shifted. I can't begin to imagine how it feels to be honest.
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  #82  
Old 11th April 2016, 22:43
biscuits biscuits is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I got told that I'm 'getting fat' today. I feel especially down about my appearance lately. It's comforting to know that most people won't vocalise their negative opinions about my appearance and when people actually do, it makes me think that what I think must be true.

I hate having these horrible thoughts about my appearance all the time. I'm not sure what to do about it.
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  #83  
Old 11th April 2016, 22:45
newbs16 newbs16 is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

^ some people are arseholes
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  #84  
Old 14th April 2016, 18:26
Concept Concept is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by newbie2013
^ some people are arseholes

Yes, some people are.
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  #85  
Old 14th April 2016, 19:32
jinny jinny is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

@ HermannHesse,
aw I've missed your useless advice!
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  #86  
Old 14th April 2016, 20:30
jinny jinny is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Quote:
Originally Posted by biscuits
I got told that I'm 'getting fat' today. I feel especially down about my appearance lately. It's comforting to know that most people won't vocalise their negative opinions about my appearance and when people actually do, it makes me think that what I think must be true.

I hate having these horrible thoughts about my appearance all the time. I'm not sure what to do about it.
I got called an 'old troll' today, biscuits...by one of my delightful colleagues.

I am getting old, I'm middle aged, but I've never felt attractive anyway..but it's horrible to feel judged by how you look.

I expect you look lovely, but even if you aren't conventionally good looking, which I suspect you are, you are so lovely that you could not be ugly. Not even a bit.
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  #87  
Old 15th April 2016, 00:59
Hylian Hylian is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I would offer hugs to my fellow BDDers expressing their difficulties recently, but I always find myself stricken with rigamortis during hugging, and the whole affair becomes quite embarassing.

I am the most awkward hugger most of you will ever come across, a fact a former member of this forum should attest to (but she's too nice about it).
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  #88  
Old 16th April 2016, 20:43
Xithium Xithium is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I've been struggling a lot with my feelings about my appearance lately. I finally caved in and went to get my passport photo taken, so that I can send off for a provisional license and get going with the driving lessons I've been promising to sort for years. I guess somewhere in the back of my mind, I stubbornly maintained a wildly optimistic hope that it wouldn't come out as bad as I'd feared. I know most people say their passport photographs are shockingly bad, but mine always make me realise that my face is quite literally very unsymmetrical. I find myself feeling more and more self-conscious of this these days, as it really seems to be becoming more noticeable (I want to believe it's in my head, but it's actually really wonky - other people obviously see me as I am, and get used to it, but to me... who tries to avoid being pictured or looking into mirrors in less than flattering lighting, it's really quite a shock to be confronted with my 'true' self).

Another thing that upset me is that the conversation topic of my bad skin came up with my boyfriend this week. The relationship's at that stage now where I can't hide the various potions and creams I have to use in order to try to improve my issues (mainly quite extensive acne scarring, which I've undergone various treatments for), so I try to just make a joke out of it. Anyway, I guess in an attempt to make me feel better about it, he brought the issue back up just before we went to sleep and cycled through all the "you're fine the way you are" prep talk. Whilst I appreciate that he attempts to make me feel better, sometimes it really has the opposite effect. For instance, in response to me saying that in the past people have tried to deny my problems entirely, which I feel is unrealistic, he said that the scarring is noticeable "but not too bad". And that he understands how I feel because he thinks he'd feel self-conscious of it too, if it were him dealing with it. When he said these things, I knew he meant to console me, but it was a real kick to the guts because now I'm just mortified and feeling more 'exposed' than I ever was before around him. I suppose I'd wanted so badly to believe the people who told me they didn't really notice anything wrong with me (my ex boyfriend, for instance), that I was living in a fantasy, in some respects, going along with the idea that perhaps people don't necessarily notice anything wrong with my face. Some kind of unhealthily fragile coping mechanism (hence why I've deliberately not questioned him as to his opinion on my skin - ignorance is bliss, type deal, I figured). But his words kind of shattered that and I feel very inhibited now. The reality, my rational mind tells me, must be somewhere in between... people probably do notice my scarring, but acknowledge it in a much less powerful way than I do. Emotionally, though, my mind tells me that's not good enough. I don't want it acknowledged at all; which of course, is not realistic. I just want to feel 'free' of self-conscious thoughts about my own body (bar the usual little things I'm guessing most people experience) and not let them hinder me in this relationship. But it's proving so difficult.

Does anyone else find themselves feeling ever more confused, because of people's differing comments to them? My ego is so fragile that I desperately want to believe the words that make me feel better, though deep down I feel as though they're just lies. On the other hand, if someone (like my boyfriend) seems to offer a more brutally honest opinion, I feel resentful toward them for attacking my clearly fictitious illusion of my problems being invisible to anyone but me. It's no-one's fault, I know, as put in their position I'd want to be honest yet perhaps could see myself telling white lies in order not to hurt somebody's feelings.



Basically, to be able to have photographs taken of me, and to feel comfortable with that and with what I see and likewise, with what I see in the mirror, just feels like a million miles away... yet seems like such a normal thing to most other people. And this relationship has been amazingly fulfilling so far. It almost seems too good to be true, because there's this mountain of wacky issues inside/(outside?) of me.
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  #89  
Old 18th April 2016, 20:19
Hylian Hylian is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

Handshakes are always weird, because you don't know how hard to shake or grip.
Some people grip your hand like they're trying to detach it, others let their hand slip from yours like one of the ghostly twins from the Matrix.
Plus I have small hands.

Together this means, I introduce myself at job interviews and immediately have an inner crisis that I won't be hired because I have small hands and a shake like a dying cretin. Probably something like the hunchback creature from 300.
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  #90  
Old 19th April 2016, 12:08
Appear Appear is offline
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Default Re: Body Dysmorphic Disorder

I've been counting the number of hairs I encounter on my hands during my shower, on my towel after drying my hair, on the shelf below the mirror after I've styled my hair and any other instance I happen to notice one. Today's count thus far: 26. I'd just about got to a point where I wasn't quite happy with my appearance but was mostly accepting of it (and that's quite the achievement for me), but the prospect of balding before thirty is really going to throw that one off. I wish I could be dignified and stoical about it but OMG LIFE IS SO UNFAIRRRRRRRRRRRR, TAKE WHAT YOU WANT BUT LEAVE MY HAIR. Ahem.
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