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  #1  
Old 2nd October 2017, 18:10
Ramon Ramon is offline
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Default What if - to an extent- its also the age we live in

n/t
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  #2  
Old 3rd October 2017, 10:03
Aelwyn Aelwyn is offline
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Default Re: What if - to an extent- its also the age we live in

I do think there's much more pressure at work to be outgoing and part of a team than there used to be. I used to live in fear of having to go on a team awayday, my husband had to do one where everyone played stupid games wearing mushroom shaped badges with the words "I'm a fun guy" printed on them, he nearly had a nervous breakdown.

Also all the pressure from social media to look wonderful and show you're always having a mavellous time. Is that the sort of thing you mean?
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  #3  
Old 3rd October 2017, 10:12
Ramon Ramon is offline
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Default Re: What if - to an extent- its also the age we live in

that's crazy, my fear is a workplace like that!
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  #4  
Old 3rd October 2017, 12:03
BrokenGirl BrokenGirl is offline
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Default Re: What if - to an extent- its also the age we live in

If I'm honest, I hate the age we live in now. Basic morals and communication seem to have disappeared.
You just have to look at the studies into the young people and how mental health issues have increased with them to see the impact it's having.
Also the pressure of being likable at work and fit in with everyone is unreal and if you don't get on with someone wthen there's just a whole new level of back stabbing that goes on. Mostly by people that do it so they can fit it.
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  #5  
Old 3rd October 2017, 12:25
Hayman Hayman is offline
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Default Re: What if - to an extent- its also the age we live in

I find a good chunk of the problems we face are more modern societal issues, rather than solely our own. Unfortunately, our types of personality (quieter, more reserved e.t.c…) tend to suffer the most from ever increasing demands and expectations. Rather than being accepted for who we are, we’re instead told we're somehow 'wrong', we're to blame and we need to change.

Not everyone can or wants to be the life and soul of the party. We're all different people and some of us only want mutual respect and the efforts we make as quieter, more introverted people to be acknowledged when we've done what we can to meet other people half way (without any 'legwork' ever made from the other side). Sadly, in my case, this has been proven to be too much to ask – time and time again.

I'd say the issues I have in the workplace account to around 30 or 40 percent of my Social Anxiety issues. They're very social people and over the last seven years of working where I have, I have spent around half that time listening to their advice, doing what they want me to do to 'help' me achieve my goals… I've attended various venues with them outside of work and without exception, it's always felt like unpaid overtime to me. Whilst I do admit I've gained a little confidence in myself in terms of going out, it's not progressed me along 'life's progressions chart' in any way. I just end up with the same old criticisms and stigmatisations for the lack of life experiences I have – the very reason I go out is to gain them in the first place but have to be continually reminded of what I haven't achieved. They ask why I lack confidence but cannot see they're purposefully eroding what little confidence I've managed to scrape together on my own. They offer no encouragement, no new contacts or chances from what they've seen better in me - to help me build on those starting blocks.

I've made myself physically ill out of worry/stress for these people and it's made not one jot of difference when it comes to the basics of achieving some sort of acknowledgement or respect for trying my best. I respect others will disagree with me, but I firmly believe a chunk of our issues can only be resolved by the assistance and acceptance of others, where we're granted the same opportunities that they will give to others (i.e – we’re not allowed chances because we've not been allowed them in the past…a catch-22 situation. We're seen as different people, not equal human beings who have had no luck at all in life). We cannot solely do this journey of improvement alone.

This is what hugely frustrates me about society in general. Humans by their nature are social creatures and are designed to help each other. Where's the help for those people who find themselves left behind? We're told we must do everything alone. There's a different set of rules are set aside for those who are at the bottom of the social ladder…
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  #6  
Old 3rd October 2017, 13:40
Lunar Lunar is offline
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Default Re: What if - to an extent- its also the age we live in

I think these days there is too much emphasis on 'being the best' at everything, whether that is in work or in our daily lives. Yes, there will always be people that aspire to be better than others and that's fine but why should the rest of us be made to feel we have failed in some way for not wanting or achieving the same?
We are all individuals and would benefit far more from learning to listen, understand and be kind to each other than comparing ourselves using what we have or have not 'achieved' in life in order to validate our existence.
I
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  #7  
Old 3rd October 2017, 14:06
gregarious_introvert gregarious_introvert is offline
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Default Re: What if - to an extent- its also the age we live in

I remember reading, probably a few years ago now, that modern life offers us more ways not to communicate with each other than ever before. Social media and mobile telephones (with cameras!) have taken away much of our privacy and put our lives in the glare of the spotlight. So many people seem to think that they have to "show off" their lives on Instabook or Facegram or whatever, that those of us who feel we have nothing to show off feel inadequate.

There are also people who are too busy showing that they're living to live; I went to a gig on Friday and there were hundreds of people there who were too busy filming the whole thing to be there - quite literally, life through a lens. There is much that is good about social media, like being able to keep in touch with people who are far away (if you have a large family, for instance, you can disseminate information with a single post instead of 50 telephone calls), but for those who are more immediately in our lives, the text message has replaced the telephone call, or the knock on the door.

People are less committed to keeping social arrangements these days: when all we had was a fixed line telephone, people would keep arrangements because there was no option to cancel at the last minute; nowadays, they will send a text when those they're meeting are on their way or waiting at the rendezvous point (as an example, I had six cancellations for yesterday evening's meetup as I was on the bus travelling to the bowling alley). We have so many avenues of communication that there's no escape - if I ignore my house 'phone (because I'm cooking, in the shower or whatever - or just not in a mood to talk to anyone), my mobile will ring, then there'll be a text message, then WhatsApp... (I hate complaining about this, there was so much of my life when the telephone was nothing but a dust trap!) - people panic if you don't respond immediately, either thinking that you're dead, or being paranoid that you don't want to speak to them.

As for the pressure to "fit in" at work, that has, in my experience, never been any different; however, modern working practices do seem to allow more time to socialise in the workplace, which expose those of us least adept at doing so.
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