To strive, to seek, to find.........
Posted 19th April 2014 at 20:17 by indigo777
I really envy those people who have found a way of controlling their way of thinking. I have seldom found true peace of mind. In dreams sometimes, maybe for brief periods but then lost again not to return for months or even years, quite beyond my control. Here, time as I know it does not exist. There were no days, weeks, months or even hours of the clock, only a form of existence where emotions and feelings lived. I sometimes had dreams so strong emotionally that certain music would awaken me with tears coming from my eyes which would change my mood for the rest of the day. There was a longing beyond words, a hope however vain. I have tried meditation although maybe hypnosis would be better to create a state of being or a contentment that otherwise would be impossible to attain.
The closest I have come is sitting on a fallen tree in some woodland. The only noise being birds and wind and with no human contact to interfere, to look at me, to stare, to judge, to ridicule. The human way. It was as though nothing else existed and I could be connected to every bird, animal insect and even the trees. Yes I know it sounds hippyish but who cares if it creates happiness and peace. I did not know it would be possible to create this mindset in full consciousness but I know now that it is and what some people must already be able to do at will with the right mind control. I want this feeling back.
It’s almost like being a different person and in some ways is similar to hearing of people who have had near death experiences and have come back with a completely different outlook on life where the small insignificant problems don’t matter any more. A sense of peace and contentment takes over. Anxiety is conquered. Unfortunately my mind was weak and family circumstances made such thoughts disappear and I have lost the ability. However I now feel the time is right to try again. I went to the woods yesterday but being Good Friday there were too many people and my fallen tree is in an area now fenced off. Nothing is simple. The fight goes on.
[IMG]https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2936/13916030606_5bcedc078d_b.jpg[/IMG]
The closest I have come is sitting on a fallen tree in some woodland. The only noise being birds and wind and with no human contact to interfere, to look at me, to stare, to judge, to ridicule. The human way. It was as though nothing else existed and I could be connected to every bird, animal insect and even the trees. Yes I know it sounds hippyish but who cares if it creates happiness and peace. I did not know it would be possible to create this mindset in full consciousness but I know now that it is and what some people must already be able to do at will with the right mind control. I want this feeling back.
It’s almost like being a different person and in some ways is similar to hearing of people who have had near death experiences and have come back with a completely different outlook on life where the small insignificant problems don’t matter any more. A sense of peace and contentment takes over. Anxiety is conquered. Unfortunately my mind was weak and family circumstances made such thoughts disappear and I have lost the ability. However I now feel the time is right to try again. I went to the woods yesterday but being Good Friday there were too many people and my fallen tree is in an area now fenced off. Nothing is simple. The fight goes on.
[IMG]https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2936/13916030606_5bcedc078d_b.jpg[/IMG]
Total Comments 4
Comments
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Posted 20th April 2014 at 07:24 by Star Rainbow -
Thanks,yes they are Star Rainbow. The bluebells are just coming up properly too so I will try and go back here soon when its more peaceful.
Posted 20th April 2014 at 13:35 by indigo777 -
Posted 20th April 2014 at 14:04 by Star Rainbow -
Thanks, there are quite a few popping up already but we are a couple of weeks behind you in the Midlands so the best is yet to come.
Posted 20th April 2014 at 19:38 by indigo777