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Done my final day at this Warehouse job

Posted 23rd September 2016 at 22:34 by Amara 94

I feel glad that I have done my final day at this warehouse job, the worst job decision I've made so far. I also can't wait for this program I have been accepted to and hope that I secure an apprenticeship out of it.

Funnily enough my fellow apprentices didn't turn up to work today. I was complimented by one manager and a few colleagues for working hard. I don't believe I have done the best I could or been the perfect worker in this job but the environment is very casual and every warehouse worker I have spoken to doesn't like their job.

That's the thing. I didn't like the work environment, how it made me feel and couldn't see it as somewhere good for me.

Well at least I know the type of work environment I don't want to be part of. Ideally I would like to be in a work environment full of passionate, ambitious people. I would probably like to do a job where skill is required so that workers are not mainly judged for their social status and are more judged for what they do. Idk, but I might even go to university to study something I am passionate about. I don't feel bad for doing it late as I feel I have gained more depth and understanding for what I may study.

However, me leaving this job also shows that anxiety is a real problem for me. I think I have had enough of just putting up with anxiety and sympathising with people who don't understand it. I am lucky to have this opportunity pop out at the right time.

What if it hadn't popped up?

I would probably have to deal with this apprenticeship that I am leaving and in all honesty, I can't deal with it without my mental wellbeing taking a plunge.

I am going to Spear next week and am going to attempt to explain the issues I face at the typical workplace. I am even thinking about writing it out so my issues are understandable to the Spear coaches. I don't even think that it's only anxiety I suffer with, I also feel socially blind and am clueless as to how to respond to small talk a lot of times. Idk if I have aspergers, but with this work experience and many other social situations I am definite that the psychiatrist who assessed me for aspergers and said I just had anxiety missed something.

I feel that I can do things, maybe be successful, but all this social blindness and anxiety provides a thick, cloudy barrier. Although this apprenticeship has been basic but strenuous work it has shown me that. I am usually able to most tasks but due to passiveness and anxiety I allow others to tell me everything to do and take the lead when doing some basic tasks with others. It's understandable that strangers may see an anxious 22 year old clueless how to act in public as pathetic.

I also worry that I may not secure an apprenticeship with this programme due to not having the perfect work history and perhaps experiencing too much anxiety to put my all into interviews and tasks.
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