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Painful Truths

Posted 21st April 2018 at 08:28 by Amara 94

I don't know why this is painful to me, tbh I partially do. But I think I have to improve my communication skills. Always feeling ignored, unnoticed, like others think I don't feel emotions is not okay for me. And please don't tell me it's a part of life or that I can't please everyone because I see most other people are able to interact with others and have people that would ask them out for lunch or something. I also see that certain people are more likable.

A few weeks ago I was talking about how lots of communication seems shallow. I don't know how seriously I meant that but I feel that to become more better at communicating I don't want to have to pretend I am a different person to who I am. Also most people are able to communicate but are not always make the other person feel at ease or motivated, I feel that that is what good communication does. It's a skill that is taken for granted as humans speak everyday.

It feels painful, embarrassing to admit I need to improve my social skills. Recently I have felt defective as I don't usually know how to respond to small talk, jokes, even on SAUK, and it seems like these are the basic parts to communicating. It feels easy to do serious conversation but eek, I don't like the thought of coming across as overly serious and unemphatic, unable to connect with others. I feel trying to improve my social skills means that I have to face and admit to the things that I feel defective and disgusting about. I guess I have to accept myself, but I feel I don't like myself when it comes to what I find easy to express and what I find hard to.
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