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A New Chapter + things I learnt from my colleagues.

Posted 9th September 2018 at 03:16 by Amara 94

I left my job last Thursday to go to induction day at my new college where I will be studying an Access course in Social Science.

I learnt a lot from my uni dorm housekeeping job. Not that much when it comes to the job, but a fair bit about people. I didn't make many friends there but did make a fantastic one I will call my aunt.

My aunt was the opposite from me loud, happy, funny, assertive, relaxed and very good at reading and getting on with people. She wasn't afraid to complain about how she disliked the job. Actually took days off to rest if needed.

On the other hand, there was a Romanian office worker who was literally a workaholic. I personally think she probably had personal issues but covered it up with work. She was ultra serious, intimidating and seemed to fake smile, I felt her smile was never genuine. As she was intimidating it seemed like she got on with other colleagues but, now that I look back, they probably just put up with her. I also took some of her judgements towards me seriously. However, she ended up storming off of the job one day when another colleague that stayed at the company for only a month confronted her behaviour on multiple occasions. My auntie always use to point out how this office worker wasn't married. As us SA'ers know relationship problems are sometimes a symptom of personal problems.

There was another Romanian colleague, this one is a cleaner though. When I started this job back in February she seemed focused on her work. She also keeps to herself a lot. She never complained and also spoke against my auntie in meetings when my aunt would complain about an issue. As long as she did the hours and was able to put food on the table, she said she was happy. She even one lunch said how I was good because I didn't complain, hinting at my auntie. I responded nothing as I knew that with the gossiping culture at the job maybe she was trying to cause trouble. She was good friends with the Romanian office worker, that the office worker apparently used her to spy on the housekeeping teams convos one week. Notice I say that she "said" that she was happy, this Romanian worker seemed to become a bit more ill, exhausted over time and now is less willing to act like the job is perfect. My auntie, who is great at reading people notices that now the Romanian housekeeper is stressed more often.

Man, there is so much I learnt about people I feel. In truth I learnt from all my housekeeping team. I still have a few colleagues I can say I learnt from.

The forth colleague that I learnt from is a Ugandan colleague. She was a housekeeper when I joined the team but got promoted to a supervisor. This colleague is insecure like me, but I don't want to be insecure like that. She is super defensive and scared to show weaknesses. She likes to act smart and put on a tough front but she is scared of confrontation.

My auntie had a big argument with her when our timetable changed as she didn't like the extra jobs she was given and since then the supervisor has been a bit distant with my auntie. I feel sorry for the hardships the supervisor is facing, however I also wouldn't want to end up like her. I feel like she is a sign of how I could be if I don't get my shit together. Now that she is a supervisor I noticed she started to get sick more often and started to smell more. She has also lost faith in the job. Me and my auntie both believe that she was promoted as the toxic housekeeping manager promoted her to kind of find a way of using her or maybe finding a reason to fire her. The supervisor is a great listener though, a better listener than the boss or my auntie, except that she hardly follows advice as she is so defensive.

The housekeeping boss joined after I joined. She is good at speaking to people and reading people. At first she was nice with us but as time went on she became more distant with us housekeepers and didn't stick with her original plans. In a sense I feel I was lucky I never became comfortable to speak to her as she called me quiet from the beginning and literally ignored me if I told her anything. I also feel lucky in the sense that her comments on me being quiet didn't get to me, I think cause I was so used to the comment. But I feel that she likes to play games with people. She always speaks patronisingly to the supervisor. Her and another colleague also gossip about the supervisor behind her back. I think the supervisor has became more ill due to possible emotional abuse and being stressed and sad and unlike my auntie, keeping all the pain inside. She also called my auntie on a holiday to tell her off for not filling out a holiday form when my auntie already did fill it out. I feel what I learnt from the boss is that she may be good at speaking to people however she isn't building trust with housekeepers, now we speak about her behind her back. Also she may be playing this game to climb the career ladder however she is ruining her chances of having real friends by being manipulative. She is playing a game that could end badly for her.

I feel in general I actually found that us housekeepers, who are at the bottom of the social hierarchy at work have a tighter social bond. And my auntie, who was a housekeeper, was the happiest, mentally calmest person that I have met. Whereas some, not all, office workers obviously were seen as higher skilled yet weren't mentally calm, were insecure, infact one of them apparently was an alcoholic.

Towards the end of the job I got into Elliot Hulse's videos and watched some videos on bioenergetics. It seems a reason my auntie is able to be really happy, or less stressed than most people is because she is in tune with her emotions and not scared of them. She is even open minded when it comes to speaking about sex although she does see homosexuality as wrong. Society teaches us that it is wrong to feel certain emotions, however this leads to most people trapping emotions in there bodies which leads to mental and physical illnesses.

In a past job I would have thought that it is best to be like the Romanian housekeeper but after this job I have learnt that it is okay to be me, it's okay to not see something at a job as alright. It's okay to say no, although that is easier said than done. I shouldn't overwork myself or put myself in a job that I am not able to adequately do. For example, I am planning to join the agency I used to be with. I know for a fact I am telling them that I am not taking on any Kitchen porter work. I still need to learn to be comfortable to colour outside of the lines like my aunt as I have so many secret weaknesses which maintain my anxiety as they are secrets rather than weaknesses I just accept. For example, I think my aunt might be dyslexic as she uses present tense words to describe the past. Finds it hard to spell words, English is her third language, I think. However her strength shines and she is still a social magnet despite her weaknesses.

My aunt has also helped me realise that I am not completely unlikable. She told me that I shouldn't expect to make friends all of a sudden at my new college, her daughter didn't at her uni, and that college isn't always for making friends. Idk why but this advice helped make my college induction much easier. I still had lunch alone, outside of the college, however unlike the last time I went to Sixth Form college I didn't see a rejection from someone as my problem. In fact I saw my class mates as more equals.

Right now I feel my auntie has shown me that I need happiness in my life, I need to get back to being comfortable in my own skin. I used to be able to laugh quite frequently as a child but have forgotten how to and have became robotic. I need social support, it makes everything much easier it seems and is very healthy. I feel less need to try and seem amazing. At the college induction, there were a few peers who seemed like they needed to appear special, or as amazing. I hope that my mind changes, but I found these people boring as I felt that happiness and positive energy is more important and feels better than image.
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  1. Old Comment
    gregarious_introvert's Avatar
    Healingsoul, it's so great that you've been able to learn so much from the colleagues in your own job; I hope you are able to feel more comfortable in your own skin as you start this new phase in your life, it really does open to the door to a fuller life and happiness.
    Posted 12th September 2018 at 15:55 by gregarious_introvert gregarious_introvert is offline
  2. Old Comment
    [QUOTE=gregarious_introvert;bt20743]Healingsoul, it's so great that you've been able to learn so much from the colleagues in your own job; I hope you are able to feel more comfortable in your own skin as you start this new phase in your life, it really does open to the door to a fuller life and happiness.[/QUOTE]

    I am still actually as anxious I think, but also a teeny bit better at dealing with people. I started college on Tuesday. Ran into some same problems as usual, such as people giving me a bad look, finding it hard to communicate with people. However I called the support team in the college so my anxiety doesn't end up having as negative influence as it has had in the past.

    I know with support, as I saw in my old job, my anxiety levels usually are lower and I can think and function more clearly.

    Also I think I have a bit more barriers learning from my aunt and looking at the results when colleagues try and act like everything is alright when it isn't.
    Posted 13th September 2018 at 13:26 by Amara 94 Amara 94 is offline

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