Met with a potentially new therapist yesterday. I've been in and out of talking therapy for over a decade, sometimes I'd keep the same therapist for a year, two years, its generally massively helpful and I feel I do best with an open person centred approach. This time, a GP referal, they offered me CBT, a few measly sessions, I wasnt over keen but hey-ho one is grateful and accepts what is.

In the treatment room, I had a panic attack that lasted 30 out of the 45 minutes we had together....

Tender? More like tenderised. My father was a chef and I recall seeing him bash at steaks in the restaurant kitchen. A wooden mallet, with 'teeth'.

That's how I'm feeling today, like I've been tenderised with a steak mallet.

It's probably all postive and maybe time will grant me the wise perspective of how well I've done. But in this moment I'm feeling overwrought and overstimulated.

'Partied' a second day in a row; well it's hardly partying to sit in...