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It felt so good to go out for a winter walk in the sun for a change. Things like this can improve my mood considerably but they are only of limited use and dont last for long and as I have said before walking in the city is no more beneficial than shopping at Tesco which actually increases my anxiety. I try to go out for a longer walk about once a week but the weather has been considerably shit this autumn....

I feel far more apprehensive than usual about Christmas day this year. I don’t particularly feel like going to the cemetery again as I have done the previous two years after the death of my mother although the only alternative which is to stay in and watch even more shit TV is already starting to make me feel quite down, almost physically sick.

At least there are quite a lot of people at the cemetery and they are all sad anyway so I fit in well. Perhaps I should live there or become...

So the dentist visit didn't go too bad and I dont think I made a complete idiot of myself or even came across as a creepy weirdo which is good. Of course I used up considerable anxiety counting down the hours, minutes and seconds waiting and making it much worse than it actually was which is quite normal for a mad person with anxiety. However the dentist was only able to do a check up and I am due back in tomorrow for the main event which is the extraction of the rotten decaying molar. £56 for...

So, after some time of not posting on SAUK, I have found that now, when I would like to use the forum, I am feeling really awkward about it. Am I alone in feeling this way? I guess being a social anxiety site, other members would be uncomfortable in the same situation. It's perhaps a bit of an irrational fear of mine - I worry too much about what people may think of me or how they would react towards me after being quiet for some time. Even more so, if they happen to have met me once or twice...