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what happens after divorce.

Posted 15th January 2012 at 04:14 by mhealer3

dear r____,
thanks for the message & hope you stay strong during your separation.
my divorce was like being torn apart.
at first i didn't notice it, because i was kinda numb.
but after the numb wears off, there's a lot
of crud underneath that hits u like a truck.
i've heard that many start drinking at that time, & i don't blame them.
i tried it, but it's just not my thing.

but when the panic hit me: ('i may have just destroyed everything in my life!'), i really couldn't breathe or stop sweating.
it was like living in a nightmare.
thank God He heard me when i cried out 4 help.
finally,a year later,i'm on the road to peace, but
re-defining myself at 50 years old is a painful process. i don't wish it on anyone.
for 22 years
i enjoyed caring for my family, but they became abusive when i stopped working.there was so much strife, it couldn't go on.

but a failed marriage is a loss to be grieved.
lots of plans & security shot to hell.
and i will never be the same happy person i was when i got married. that makes me mad.

when i look back at how bad things were in my marriage, i am glad it's over. but my life is quite
empty these days. getting used to being alone is traumatic. i can't do it without God.

my advice to everyone out there: don't give up your friends/family (or your faith) when you get married because that really isolates you.
my ex has lots of friends & went out with them freely during our marriage. i didn't mind, but meanwhile i stayed home, did everything for everybody & never had fun.
now i have 1 or 2 friends that i only see every couple of months. (not enough to help pull you through during a divorce!! )
let my mistake be for your gain.
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