Over the last few weeks the level of my anxiety has risen so that I cannot watch any TV and concentrate on much at all anymore. I mostly seem to watch the clock and wait … to get up, for meals, to leave the house and come back, not much else. Time seems to be going 10 times slower than normal and I wait…. and hope, sometimes even pray. I thought about going in the cathedral as I did so often when my mum was slowly dying but it’s full of builders making the new room for Richard III when they...

It feels like a weight has been lifted off me now that I realise I can't always agree with everyone realistically and that I'm alright. I don't know if this is just a happy phase though.

Today at work their was a new person doing work trail. So far I like the guy. This guy has been asking the boss for the job for a few months though. Even if this job doesn't work out for him, I respect the guy for his determination.

The guy told me he doesn't see me much, when he found...

Earlier this week I felt bad about going to my job and felt like quitting, especially as my boss had offered me an apprenticeship when I wasn't really interested in the job.

Towards the end of the week however, I had a change of attitude towards my job. I think it's because I began to realise that it wasn't by force that I had to like my job and that it's pretty normal to start off with a job you don't like. I know this sounds like common sense lol. I have to search for what I want...

I have known for a long time that I don't share some of the "common interests" that my peers seem to share. I think this has partly contributed to my anxiety as I thought that my lack of knowledge in certain aspects of popular/media culture was something to hide out of shame. I have recently been a bit more open about the fact I haven't watched some films or sports that a "typical" 20 year old would have. I've never watched Matrix or Wrestling.

Yesterday an 18...

Today, as it was Bank holiday I got a day off work. Despite not really liking the current job I do that much, I admit that most weekends I actually feel worse. Despite feeling drained after work, I do feel a sense of satisfaction that I haven't just wasted my day away and also feel like I deserve to be able to relax after a day of work.

I put the cause of my depressing weekends to the fact that I have a lack of structure on weekends when I'm not working. Not doing much apart from...