Loneliness, feeling and getting support

Well that's a miserable title! I think I'm dreadfully lonely and I dont quite have the courage to fully feel it.

I think there is merit in feeling all of one's feelings, if such feelings can be witnessed with sufficient detachment. I think I tend to get overwhelmed and carried away with stories about how my life has imploded into total failure status in recent years.

How I've missed the flow of my own creation and am banked up on the shingle, stuck, hopeless, useless.

There is another point of view, I'm gathering evidence for that. I am being held, heard and healed. In the arms of a Great Loving Presence. I am safe and well and exactly where I need to be. The loving parent is available.

Life has become easier over the last year, in practical ways. Yes, I'm adrift without purpose or aims and afflicted with anxiety. And that's scary rather than exciting. I can't quite make my peace with it.

And I'm doing the best I can. That has to be enough, it's all I can do, what more is there to be done?

-----------

Still wrangling with NHS talking therapies service, they dont really know what to do with me. I know they want to fob me off with CBT, but I keep having panic attacks in the sessions

Enquired locally for low cost long term counselling; I think I need that structured and dependable emotional support. I have friendships, but can get a bit tangled and upset in relationship. I've been in and out of therapy for over a decade and it works for me, it's like a scaffold. So pending the offer from the NHS next week I think I should put that in place and allow myself to have that support.

Hope anyone reading this is having an OK day And thanks for visiting